To not say anything but feel a bit annoyed

[mommy2ash]

It was my birthday today and my brothers tomorrow. It's my 30th and my brothers 28th so somewhat of a big one for me.

My mum got me a candle a lavender one to be precise when I really don't like lavender and she knows this. My brother got trainers and a track suit that cost over 200 pound.

It's childish to be annoyed I'm an adult after all but it's a bit rubbish isn't it. Especially when we were given our gifts together and everyone laughed when I opened mine.

I wouldn't bother seeing her on your next birthday.

You can choose to spend your time with people whose company you enjoy and who you feel supported by.

I'd tell her in future not to buy you anything its less hassle. My mum favours my siblings over me yet when she needs anything seems theres only ever me that will help! My 18th birthday she had me a cake made - i didnt live at home at the time i was invited up shown my cake then sent home with a bottle of beer. Didnt even get a piece of my own cake nor a piece for my toddler. 21st i got a watch. My sisters always got better presents and still do theyve had nice perfumes expensive ones and ive had £1 ikea picture frames and wilko hand cream. I'm sure she does it for a reaction she doesn't get one though. I refuse to buy for any of my family and focus on my kids now i refuse to put the effort in to be regifted shite or given thoughtless gifts for the sake of it.
Oh Im with you on the size thing granted i am a size 14 now but this is fairly new at one point i was a 10-12 and she would make out her and all my siblings are thinner yeah love we call all shoe horn ourselves into lycra some of us choose not to.
Just tell her thanks for the candle you didnt realise she was on such a tight budget and that in future to save her money instead of buying you gifts ;)

Hugs op.

Happy birthday

I feel so pants now for moaning about my birthday present yesterday.

Are you sure she's not planning something for later?

YANBU. However I don't think you'll ever change your mum.

I am glad you have a daughter, she sounds like a . Lovely that you can have a decent Mother-Daughter relationship in your life despite your mum iyswim.

and a belated

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Thanks everyone and hufflebottom we are all entitled to a moan. There is definitely no surprise my sister had tried to organise a night out bit my parents didn't want to have my little girl overnight so that had to be cancelled. I'm off work tomorrow so I'm taking my little girl to the shops for sweets and cake she was pretty annoyed there was no cake lol and we will have our own little party at home.

Parents can just be horrible at times can't they? You just wonder what is going on in their heads sometimes.

What the hell is going on with candle giving for big birthdays? No it's not fair and I'm afraid I'd have to say something. Unless it was one of those stupidly expensive candles that cost hundreds of pounds but even then if it's not what you want or appreciate then it's just insulting

At Christmas, I wouldn't even open the gift, just toss it to the size and when she asks why just laugh and say something like 'we all know it will be oversize pjs!' Then move on to the next thing. If she tries to bring it up again just laugh and shrug.

Happy Birthday
your daughter sounds gorgeous!!

So sorry about odd behaviour by your mum - threads like this make me glad to be an only child!

Rise above it, enjoy celebrating with your little girl, and know that you have a brilliant mother / daughter bond ( and give that fucking candle back at Christmas! )

Your right Crinkle parents can be thoughtless arseholes. The only good thing is that all the shit they do to us we will hopefully remember and never do it to our own kids.

Oh OP. Your mum sounds like a nasty piece of work. Can you remove her from your life? She doesn't seem to bring anything good.

wow your mum is a bit of a dick op, you are definitely not overreacting at all! I'd definitely give her the candle back. I'd go as far as also not opening your Xmas present and giving it back to her still in the same wrapping paper for her birthday EVERY YEAR! If she questions it just say well its obviously pj's like you have got for years that won't fit so I thought I'd give them back to you cause you clearly like them and they won't do FIT me.

I can not believe she won't babysit for your 30th b day night out. What a horror. You have a really nice outlook though despite her, looking positively at spending time with your daughter. I do hope other people got you nice presents.

I think your mum is jealous of you. Or you remind her of herself in some way and she has a bit of self hatred going on and is tramsferring it onto you. It's definitely not normal behaviour.

Oh and belated HAPPY B'DAY

Have a nice wee party with your dd.

TBH I'd stop bothering with your parents and invest time with other people who treat you with kindness and respect.

I'm hurting on your behalf tbh.

Happy birthday, get your sister to come round yours instead of going out and ignore your mum.

I have the exact same problem and it hurts but fuck it and fuck them. My sister got huge tvs and expensive gifts and I got put into care. I know though 100% my life is so much better then my mum's.She will never be happy and the guilt eats her up and I'm very happy with my awesome dc and amazing life I built for myself. You don't need them OP when you realise how awesome you are you won't want them on your life.