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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not wear a bra in third trimester...?

35 replies

lilyboleyn · 20/08/2015 15:53

Regular poster, but name changed because it won't let me log in.

I'm almost ready to have my baby and am suffering with vile upper back pain, which is slightly relieved by undoing my bra. I got fitted properly for a pregnancy bra but it still really hurts...
The problem with not wearing a bra is, I'm quite a big-boobed lady (32f pre pregnancy, now 38d) and it might be quite... Unseemly. There's also the whole 'nipples will show when cold' and 'slightly leaky boobs' thing to bear in mind. Have tried crop top style bras with elastic which are slightly better, but still achey.

So - AIBU to not wear a bra -even at work- in the third trimester, despite having quite big boobs? And if so, what are the alternatives please? Tia

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 16:03

OP when did you last get fitted, and where? The bad bra could be the cause - it's unusual to gain 3 band sizes and drop 3 cups tbh so I suspect a bad fit may be the culprit here.

Goshthatsspicy · 20/08/2015 16:03

I couldn't stand wearing a bra when l was pregnant. If possible, could you just wear a sports top thingy. I didn't leak milk at the end, so l don't know what you'd do, if that was a constant problem.
You need to be comfy.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 20/08/2015 16:05

I got fitted in marks and Spencer's a couple of weeks ago. To be fair, my boobs haven't changed at all, but I have got quite puffy recently... Confused

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 16:08

That's the problem, right there. M&S use an old fashioned method to fit bras where they add 4-5" to the underbust measurement. It's very common for it to cause a lot of back pain as it transfers all the weight to the shoulders and upper back instead of the band taking the strain.

Could you possible measure as described here and let me know your measurements? Obviously pregnancy is trickier but I suspect this may be a part of the issue. A few of the guidelines are different in pregnancy but the general theory is the same.

purplewhale · 20/08/2015 16:09

What about a loose style or cropped top/sleep bra? I got one in Sainsburys which offers some support but is very comfortable. It was cheap too - £8 I think

Iamnotloobrushphobic · 20/08/2015 16:09

Marks and spencer are rubbish at fitting bras. I am in the third trimester and got measured at debenhams. In debenhams they check the fit of the bra properly rather than just telling you the size that the tape measure gives (as all bras fit differently).
Even though I am confident that I was fitted properly I still find the bra is achey by the end of the day. But it is fine for wearing for 10 hours during the day. When I am in the house and not going out I just wear a sports crop top style bra.

DJThreeDog · 20/08/2015 16:09

I found bras very uncomfy when I was very big, so YANBU. But I wouldn't go without a bra.

M&S have undoubtedly fitted you badly. Unless you've put on about 10 stone your back can't possibly have got that big!

If you can, try Bravissimo for a soft cup bra. Or they do soft cup tops which are good. Or, just don't go back to work and loaf around at home.

BoodlesMcToodles · 20/08/2015 16:10

Marks and Spencer - therein lies the issue I suspect. Try an independent bra shop. I think there are threads on this. Someone may be able to link for you?

StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 16:10

loobrush, debenhams are variable - some stores do it the new way, some persist with adding inches. Really wish they'd standardise it as we could do with having a reliable store to refer people to for fitting (there's not enough Bravissimos!)

BoodlesMcToodles · 20/08/2015 16:11

X-post

ChunkyPickle · 20/08/2015 16:13

Hell no YANBU - I felt the same way, I used to wear some crop-top/bralet things I got off Amazon that were basically made of very thick tights material, and that was just because (TMI alert) I needed something to sit between the skin of my boob, and the skin of my belly because otherwise it got all sweaty and uncomfortable...

Sod anyone who tells you otherwise. 3rd trimester you're already uncomfortable enough, without adding to it any more than you have to.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 20/08/2015 16:17

Thank you for the advice! Statistically, I'm away at the moment and so can't measure til get home on Monday Confused but will definitely use your link to do so...

OP posts:
specialsubject · 20/08/2015 16:22

if you are in the UK there is no law about wearing a bra. It makes no difference to future sagging BTW.

wear some looser tops, perhaps with a vest-type thing underneath to absorb. No man wears clothes that hurt, why should you?

carbolicsoaprocked · 20/08/2015 16:22

Have you tried Triumph bras? Not exactly the styles I'd normally choose to wear but I really struggled to find a comfy bra when I was pregnant and these worked like a dream! I also used them to sleep in when I was leaking milk. They give good solid support from beneath without being underwired. I agree that being fitted properly is the important thing though, make sure your fitter is focussed on how the bra is fitting you rather than what bra you should have according to your measurements.

StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 16:24

Quick test - stick the bra on back to front (just do the clips up, straps not needed) and then pull the band and see how far away from your body it comes.

LilacRain · 20/08/2015 16:26

I hate maternity bras even though I've tried loads on and splashed out on some expensive ones. They all dig in, make shoulders ache and feel irritating. I got measured in 3 places and still hated the feeling of bras.

I don't think you should care what colleagues (or anyone else) thinks, and you can wear a vest under your top to hide nipples if it bothers you. However I'd be worried about leaving breasts completely unsupported, isn't it bad for breast tissue and can cause stretching and sagging? If I go bra-less my breasts and chest muscles start to ache.

I find sports bras comfortable, I buy them cheaply from TKMax. They're soft, stretchy, have no fastenings or bits to dig in and the back-support is nice. They're more elastic and stretchier than crop-tops.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 20/08/2015 16:29

About two cm of stretch?

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 20/08/2015 16:33

that seems even more odd for M&S - a well fitting bra shouldn't stretch much but on a pregnant lady you would normally fit it on the tightest hooks so it has room to extend and 2cm is pretty snug. If it was the right way round it would make sense as your boobs will be stealing the fabric from the band as the cups are probably too small. However, in addition to their fitting being terrible their sizing and quality control is really grim too for bras.

Try the measuring when you get home and we'll go from there.

saivartelija · 20/08/2015 16:35

I do agree that you should get remeasured elsewhere, maybe Bravissimo. If you are able to find a bra that fits well, you would probably be more comfy than going without.

However, I also went from a 32 back to a 38 back in my first pregnancy (cup size a bit smaller than OP, but also went DOWN cup sizes not up) so it is physically possible. I had a lot of pain in the front of my ribs, which I guess was from the huge amount of stretching in my chest, so the back pain could just be from a similar reason.

Happily, that pain resolved as soon as I had the baby, although my back size stayed at 38 or 36 for a bit. Fingers crossed you don't have long to go now.

Eternalsunshines · 20/08/2015 16:36

I got a super soft non wired support bra in asda last week for £6 they had a few colours and all they do is stop my boobs from hanging around all sweaty and just give a minor lift. Much comfort ten no bra or an underworld !

Eternalsunshines · 20/08/2015 16:36

Under wired even Grin

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 20/08/2015 16:37

That's on the Middle setting...

Yep, not long to go...!

OP posts:
saivartelija · 20/08/2015 16:44

Oh, and YANBU to not wear a bra if you can't find a wearable one, but you should take steps to minimise leakage. Loose cardigan, dark colours and/or scarf to make leaks less obvious? Breast pads stuck into tshirt with double sided tape?

BeautifulBatman · 20/08/2015 16:48

I can understand your back measurements going up, but your cup size going down??? Just wrong. Either your pre preggers size is wrong or your current size is, but something is definitely wrong.

monkeysox · 20/08/2015 16:55

Normally 32g I had to get Royce 34l for nursing bras. M and s are shite. Hope you get sorted. I hate being bra less can't stand them moving Blush

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