To be so sensitive about this?

[Monkeysee100]

I've posted about a similar issue before. Long story short both my BIL and his partner and me and DH have children with fairly serious (but different conditions). Our child is doing well but impact in future is uncertain. In laws child needs special schooling and childcare is mostly taken take of by other family members who are getting on a little.

We've been very cautious and had testing re having other children. My SIL 'accidentally' fell pregnant (within days of best friend who she copies in everything) even though they have 50% chance of same condition and no way to test.

We've tried to stay out if things except mutual relatives and family members are being taken advantage of despite being off work and perfectly healthy, my SIL has barely spent any time with her child who has special needs. The whole focus seems to be the new baby.

I'm completely fed up of their attention seeking (planning to tell me of the new baby at a small family occasion when everyone else knew and when we were going through genetic testing) and them palming off their child constantly. Plus they did nothing special for her birthday but planning an extravagant naming day for new baby.

I'm a bit miffed that my child isn't getting the same level of attention from family members who look after them but that's beside the point. BIL and SIL completely taking the piss and not bothering with the child they have and I can see the pressure on family members to increase even more. My DH was asked to babysit their new baby overnight (before the first scan and before I was even told) when the baby would only a few weeks old!

No one will say anything as they'll threaten to break contact with grandchildren. It's making me so cross. I have a terrible poker face and find it hard to bite my tongue!

Fairly involved

OP, you've had a harsh time here and you haven't deserved that. AIBU can be brutal and this thread isn't the place for it.

Why not post it in another section, like Special Needs or Parenting?

It must be incredibly difficult having a child with an uncertain future.

Thank you so, so much. Will do Xxxx

Imperial - very sweet of you to support the OP except her post isn't about parenting (the implication being it's about your struggles/questions about parenting as the OP) nor is about parenting a child with SN. Nothing was about the difficulty of parenting a child with SN.

It's a post about the OP thinking someone else's parenting isn't brilliant and that they are taking the piss out of family members who appear happy to help out but the OP suspects they might not be.

And that is her opinion and she's entitled to hold that opinion.

OP wasn't given a hard time. People didn't agree with her and that's all. She might be right and people disagreeing might be right. Or it may be somewhere in the middle.

Doesn't mean she'd get an alternative viewpoint on another board. Unless we're saying ask for opinions but reject the ones you don't like and search around until you find you one you do.

No, I'm not saying "ask around until you get an answer you like." I just think some people are quite aggressive in AIBU and that perhaps it's not the place where a woman with a disabled child and no family support should ask for opinions. You have to be feeling very robust to post here.

I get where you are coming from but I agree with others that it is none of your business. Have these family members expressed to you they feel taken advantage of or too put upon or is that your impression of the situation?