To keep the cat?

[lushilaoshi]

Me and my DH found a kitten by the side of the road while out walking last night.

We live in a country where strays are quite common, although not so much in the area of the city where we live. It's a sweet little tabby tomcat, and I suspect it's been abandoned recently as it's in quite good condition and was begging for food from passers by, whereas most of the strays here are very scruffy and run away from humans. It followed us for about half an hour mewling and we were worried it was in danger of being run over so we put it in the car and took it home, fed it etc.

It's a lovely cat and we're already quite attached. Problem is that we live in a high rise apartment with a balcony but no garden. The landlady would not like it (not that she needs to find out). It's a young tomcat and so we're worried it'll piss everywhere/destroy the sofa (although so far it's peed in its litter and not scratched the sofa too much). To top it off, my husband is a little bit allergic to cats.

Problem is, if we gave it away it would probably be in a similar situation as most people live in high rises. If we gave it to a shelter I don't think it would have a good life - they are crowded and the cats tend to be put down when they get to a certain age. And there's no way I would just abandon it again, poor mite.

What to do? Any suggestions?

actually Lurked my last female cat ruined a fabric sofa (she had issues) and her brother a Lloyd Loom chair... but the current one i've got a leather sofa he's tried his claws on but I just put a fabric strip folded over the top. he does love to ruin the sides of the beds (mine and spare room) the mattress part. little devil. he has got better since he uses his scratching post. he also 'travels' round the side of my bed with his claws... show off!

I know they can wreck stuff super, my friend had one that did more damage than all her dogs combined did, just didn't want the impression leaving it's always the case.
My curtain climber is also a fucker for small stuff like barbie accessories or jewellery, but stuff like that won't come from ops deposit.
Yours isn't a show off, show some respect for your overlord

Aggressive .

You asked for an opinion and I gave it to each of your points. Don't take my opinion as aggression just because you don't like that I disagreed with you.

Check your Tenancy agreement for any rules on pets.

I'm a LL and out tenant has cats in my property which is placing us,not he owners in breach of our lease. We've received a complaint from other residents so are in the position of having to write formally requesting that she re homes her pets. It would be awful if you became attached and then had to re home the cat. You say 'she can go to hell' but if the laws are similar to the UK you could be putting yourself at risk of losing your home.

I currently have a very loving tom cat curled in my lap. I acquired him when he was 5 weeks old after a work colleague found a litter of feral kittens hiding under one of the mobile classrooms. I had him neutered at 8 months so he has never sprayed. A water sprayer sorted his scratching habit in a few days. Tom cats are lovely. YWNBU at all to keep him and give him a good life if his owners can not be found.

If he's not chipped keep him.

Here's the thing.

You know you're breaking the rules and lease agreement. So.. are the consequences of that worth it for a cat?

Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.

Personally, I would not keep him in that situation. Especially when allergies are involved. They could get better, they can also get worse.

As heartless as it is to say, there are an abundance of sweet cats out there and that's not going to change anytime soon. Give him to a shelter and in the future when it's more feasible, get a cat that you can prepare for in a place where you're allowed to have him. You'll fall just as in love with another sweet cat a different day when you're able to do it.

Also to answer your question.. Yes, some cats destroy things, some don't. Neutering them helps cut down on this. But I've owned a pet that was more work than my baby was, and I had to give him up so I could take care of my daughter.

Can you look into shelters that allow as long as it takes to be adopted? Not all kill shelters put healthy cats to sleep. I volunteered at one that only put animals down that were adoptable because they were too aggressive or too sick, but had a no closed door policy so that people would abandon their pets there instead of leaving them to die in the streets.

That would be sound advice if the OP lived in the UK. Where they are, if they don't keep the cat I don't see it surviving one way or another.

That may be true. But you can't let emotions cloud judgement on this.

A pet is a huge responsibility, and there's a lot at stake here for OP if she gets caught. She may have to get rid of him anyway (and it may be because of the allergies not the LL), she may have to move out for breaking lease, or the contract may be voided and she'll have to get rid of the cat AND pay a higher rent with the new agreement with no time to prepare for the income hit. It's best to get rid of him now by either giving him to a shelter where he might have a chance as a pet or releasing him on the streets where he might have a chance as a feral cat.

As sad as it is to say, it's a cat. It's not worth the trouble (and then heartache) it will cause in this situation. She didn't put him out on the side of the road, it's not her responsibility to care for him.

Sure, in an ideal world all animals would have homes, but you need to understand that you need to do what you can within the confines of the resources you have available, and she doesn't have the resources available to care for this cat right now.

I guess it's up to OP whether she thinks these risks are worth taking.
OP I think you're doing a very kind thing. I know full well that ME rescue centres are swamped with dumped animals at this time of year.

If he's neutered young enough and an only cat he's not so likely to spray. if he should or have any other sort of accident spray the area with white vinegar and wipe with a clean cloth/kitchen roll

Yes, but we have so many threads on MN about people who have had their cats stolen by well meaning people. It's utterly heart breaking. The cat was well groomed and tame. Theyre little buggers for escaping from places you never imagined they could get out from.

It's good she's going to get it checked for a microchip though. The OP also need to consider what will happen if she moves back to the UK. It's very expensive to bring a cat with you (thousands of pounds) plus very hard on the cat traveling etc

I understand that the cat is cute and everything but there's a lot to consider.

I know if I lost any pet of mine I'd rather it fell into ops hands, even if she was outright nicking it, which she isn't, than into the hands of someone like bulbasaurs.
Even if op returns to the UK and can't afford to bring it and can't rehome it, kindly putting it down at that point after a decent bit of life is kinder than an overcrowded shelter and being destroyed after a short time, or the nasty idea of releasing it to try it's luck.

"I know if I lost any pet of mine I'd rather it fell into ops hands, even if she was outright nicking it, which she isn't, than into the hands of someone like bulbasaurs."

You sure? I'd be checking it for microchips and giving the number a call to return it. You'd probably get it back rather than never seeing it again. Me not being keen on keeping random animals would work more in your favor in that sort of situation. Though, I'm not sure I'd want my pet with you considering your first option is to simply euthanize it.

Don't get me wrong, I love animals. They are animals, not children so it makes no sense to me to make such large risks for them. Do they deserve love, a warm bed, and a steady meal plan? Absolutely. But I don't rank them above humans or my own needs, which OP would be doing by keeping a pet in a place that doesn't allow them with a husband that's allergic to them.

That said, if it was my pet, I wouldn't expect anyone that doesn't have the means to care for it to take on that responsibility. It's too much to risk to take for a cat.

But like I said, that's me. OP might find the risk worth it. I do not.

Emotions are all well and good, but "warm feelings" for keeping a cat does not negate that this is not a good situation to have a cat in. It would be best to either put it in a shelter where it has a chance or find a home via online ad.

Cat update: he's not chipped. It being the weekend here, we got the opportunity to take him to a vet, who said she thought he had probably been a stray cat in the first place, but that because he's in quite good condition (a bit thin and small but fine) and very well socialised, he was probably picked up by someone who then later abandoned him. Probably because he is no longer a kitten and they didn't want to pay to get him neutered - which will need doing.

SO, she said we could give him to a shelter but his chances of being adopted are not too high because he's not that young, and most people here want a female. Mind you, I suppose she has a vested interest in us keeping him so we will keep our options open! We will put some posters out tonight near where we found him, just in case.

My husband says he feels fine re allergies, but he is now totally smitten so I am going to leave it a bit longer to see whether he is just telling me he's OK because he wants to keep the cat! DH is in the apartment all day as he doesn't work (or drive!), so I think he is enjoying the company (and it means the cat isn't just shut in on his own all the time). He has named him Chairman Meow, as my DH is Chinese and found this hilarious. So we refer to him as 'The Chairman'.

We are definitely leaning towards keeping him... we can afford to take him to the vet when needs be, and to have him properly cared for if we go on holiday, and to take him to another country if we decide to move.

As for the landlady, well that's a concern but we don't like this place much anyway so it wouldn't be the end of the world if we got kicked out - new places are not that hard to find. Legally, we could get our rent and deposit back if no damage is caused. The only thing he could scratch is the sofa, and I think we can get some throws to minimise that. The suggestion re the water sprayer is a good idea. And in any case, landlady never comes here (she is abroad most of the time) so the chance of her finding out is low. Besides, I don't want to abandon this poor cat again just because of our landlady's stupid cheap furniture - we'll replace it if we have to.

Thank you for all the thoughts and suggestions. It seems like the panel is pretty evenly split on this one! I can understand all those posters saying we'd be better off letting him go. It's definitely not ideal to have a cat in a flat, but I do think it's probably the least worst option for The Chairman in this situation...

I'd keep him too. Fab name. We call our cat "his royal furriness".

Nice update Lush

I think some of the YABUs on this thread are from people who haven't really got any idea of just how different the ME approach to animal keeping is to the UK. Yes, in an ideal world The Chairman would have a bereft owner out searching the streets for him ready to chip, vaccinate and neuter him. In an ideal world his best quality of life wouldn't be in an apartment. In an ideal world if you couldn't keep him a shelter would be able to rehome him, having done home checks on the new responsible owners.

In reality, in your country the very very best outcome for this little cat is finding a pair of kind responsible humans who will care for him. That is far more than the vast majority of cats have in the ME.

(I lived in a similar country and adopted a kitten. All our friends and neighbours thought it was cruel and unnatural that we had her spayed and laughed at us spending money on vaccinations. They thought there were so many starving street cats that if she died we could have just replaced her with one of a multitude outside the back door. Rehoming centres didn't exist.)

Enjoy being cat owners. I'm sure The Chairman will have you trained very quickly.

bulbasaur whatever you do with an animal I don't buy in to leaving them to uncertain fate. That isn't responsibility, that's passing the buck. But yeah, if a good home or shelter wasn't an option I'd shoot my pets myself, let alone random strays, before I dumped them on the street or gave them free to unknown homes or shelters like the op has available.

He sounds great op and love the name, enjoy your new jobs as servants and keep us updated.

Congratulations on your new family member, I hope he will give you many hours of fun! A scratching post is a must, mine love theirs and have never scratched the furniture. I love his name and he's a very handsome boy!

Aww I would have done the same in your position OP and you've checked to see if he's chipped so under the circumstances that's all you can do. Boy cats are usually pretty friendly and loving, so I'm not surprised you're both 'under the paw' already . Ours was neutered quite young and has never sprayed anywhere. He did claw some of our furniture and nice curtains as a kitten (sigh) despite all our best effort and having access to a deluxe cat tree with eleven posts he could have scratched. He has since grown out of it and now restricts his scratching to the cat tree and my OH's office chair (we've sort of sacrificed that one for the sake of our other furniture!). He is an outdoor cat and wouldn't have been happy indoors, but he could see the garden outside and other cats/birds etc. I imagine in a flat your lovely cat might well be quite happy. My Mum has a housecat and he is a very content little thing. I'm sure he'll be fine, as lurked says enjoy your new role as servants!!

ah terrific update OP - I think you're doing the right thing. I know some stray animals in countries other than the UK they don't treat cats as well as we do or use them more as 'pest control'.

this was a heart warming story I found about the cat man of Abu Dhabi - this man will go straight to heaven, what a kind heart.

gulfnews.com/culture/people/meet-the-cat-man-of-abu-dhabi-1.1220471

That's great news OP

Enjoy your new pet. For what it's worth mine are indoor cats and they are fine. If you are ever bored check out Maru the cat on YouTube. He's also an indoor cat and is very happy.

Keep him! I use the wood based litter and sprinkle it with litter deodorant powder.
That is one lucky kitten! My son lives in Istanbul and there are so very many semi feral cats scavenging the city. Everywhere is not like the UK.