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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dog-sitting; is this cheeky?

51 replies

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:01

I recently watched a dog for a week in my house. He's a lovely dog and I was happy to do this.

I met the owners on a dog-borrowing website, and we borrow him pretty frequently.

Watching him for a week, as opposed to having him for a day, was a different kettle of fish entirely (he is still a puppy and pretty needy, started peeing nad pooing in the basement). I was pretty happy to hand him back at the end.

I don't particularly need a gift, but is it not cheeky that they didn't write a thank you note, bring me a bottle of wine, something like this - for watching their dog for free for a week? I normally bring my neighbour something like flowers or wine if I ask her to look after my house for a week and she takes in a package. I just got another text asking when I wanted to borrow him again.

They sent me a text the day before they returned saying thanks very much for watching him, hope he's been OK. I didn't see them upon drop-off, they left me with a key and I dropped him back.

OP posts:

JuneIsBustingOutAllOver · 20/08/2015 09:08

It sounds to me like they think they're doing you a favour by lending you their dog. Especially the bit where they ask 'when' you want to borrow it, rather than asking 'if' you do.

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:14

Yes. I agree with that.

OP posts:

Hissy · 20/08/2015 09:16

They are using you as free doggy day/holiday care. You saved them a shit load of money, and they think they are doing YOU a favour.

If I were you, I'd find another dog to borrow, and be clear that borrowing for a day or so is one thing, holiday care is another.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 20/08/2015 09:17

I'd say June is right. They see this more as you borrowing their dog, rather than you dog-sitting for them for free.

They did thank you, but they either felt it was enough of a 'win-win' situation to not feel the need to go out of their way for a proper thank you, or that a text was sufficient.

I dog-sat for a friend for a week recently, and only got a thank you text, but we are friends so I really felt that this was enough and wouldn't have expected anything else. But it sounds like these people are virtual strangers so I would have thought a token card or something was in order. But maybe they feel closer to you than that?

Either way, given the dog was a PITA, I wouldn't be rushing to do it again!!

giantpurplepeopleeater · 20/08/2015 09:18

INcidently... a dog borrowing arrangement sounds interesting. What website do you use?

Ridingthegravytrain · 20/08/2015 09:18

I've not heard of dog borrowing but surely they are doing you a favour if you want to "borrow" their dog? Just because it had some accidents and wasn't as easy as you were expecting doesn't change that. Be glad you can hand it back

I think yabu. It would be different if you were doing it as a favour and getting nothing out of it but you weren't. You got a dog!

mistlethrush · 20/08/2015 09:19

My parents regularly look after their FRIENDS' dogs when their FRIENDS don't have any option apart from kennels. The friends always given them something (took them for a meal last night eg) and the critical thing is that my parents offer, they are their friends, and the dogs are no trouble.

My dogs are going to our dogwalker and we're paying her for having them.

RabbitsarenotHares · 20/08/2015 09:20

Out of interest, which website is it? There's someone on the Doghouse who's desperate to find a foster carer for her dog.

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:22

They are essentially strangers. I invited them over once for drinks after I'd borrowed their dog several times because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Sorry for the drip-feed but I have been collecting the dog AND dropping him off during the days we borrow him. My kids are completely enamoured of the dog (as am I, although honestly the week of pooing put me right off) and so I have no doubt they feel like it's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

My husband has ventured into the fray and thinks I'm being taken advantage of, and that I need to insist that they either drop him off or pick him up (we're in Central London, equidistant/on opposite sides of the tube they take to work).

OP posts:

WienerDiva · 20/08/2015 09:22

If it's the same as the borrow my dog site I've seen, then they did you a favour. You signed up (and possibly paid for) a site where by you are asking to borrow other people's dogs. They lent your their's.

I do sort of understand what you're saying, if it was a favour then yes if agree with you. But it isn't. Sorry.

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:23

borrowmydoggy, I think.

OP posts:

Penfold007 · 20/08/2015 09:25

I wouldn't lend my dog to someone and not give them a small thank you gift. That said you've joined a dog 'borrowing' site not a dog 'sitting' service. You borrow the dog, they may think they are doing you the favour. Maybe you would be better hiring yourself out for dog sitting services.

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:30

I didn't enter into this expecting anything (other than a dog) but I found it just extraordinary that they didn't properly thank me for looking after him for a week.

Similarly, if a friend were to ask to take your child because they love kids so much, it would be very useful if they took her overnight and you'd certainly want to show your appreciation. I'm not sure the fact that I'm a stranger mitigates this.

OP posts:

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:31

Maybe you would be better hiring yourself out for dog sitting services.

With certainty I can say this is the principle of the matter. I couldn't possibly open up my house to all kinds of dogs, I like a clean house (hence the dog borrowing rather than owning!).

OP posts:

TheHouseOnTheLane · 20/08/2015 09:33

OP you've not signed up to be a dog sitter....but to borrow someone's dog. They said thanks....to me it seems clear...it's a site which is supposed to be mutually beneficial...you get a fur fix and they get free dog care....expecting wine is odd.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 20/08/2015 09:34

But rabbit it's nothing like having a friend's child as a guest because you love kids! You went out and searched for this...

Hissy · 20/08/2015 09:35

Make a few calls and see how much a dog sitting service would cost...

Go on...

You need to stop this arrangement adapt. They ARE taking the mickey and your dh can see this.

Don't be sentimental, this isn't your dog and they can and will stop the arrangement any time they like, so if you are dumb enough to treat this as anything other than a business arrangement, you and your children are in for a lot of heart ache.

Borrow different dogs if you can, so you don't get attached.

RebootYourEngine · 20/08/2015 09:36

If someone borrowed something from me I would expect them to thank me for lending them it. Doesn't matter whether it is a dog or a handbag.

Dog borrowing sounds quite strange. Shouldn't it just be dog sitting. If you were on a site called dog sitting I would probably side with you but you signed up to borrow their dog. You wanted something from them.

Hissy · 20/08/2015 09:37

ASAP not adapt

BackInTheRealWorld · 20/08/2015 09:38

They might be thinking similar to you. As in 'Cheeky bit, we let her borrow our dog for a whole week and she hasn't given us do much as a thank you card!'

Original poster

RabbitRedux · 20/08/2015 09:39

They might be thinking similar to you. As in 'Cheeky bit, we let her borrow our dog for a whole week and she hasn't given us do much as a thank you card!

OP posts:

YouMakeMyDreams · 20/08/2015 09:40

I agree with the people that say they see this as a mutually beneficial arrangement. You signed up to borrow dogs you get to borrow theirs and give it back.
I can kind of see why the felt the text was enough really. They did thank you.

Koalafications · 20/08/2015 09:44

Sounds like it was mutually beneficial, in which case there is no need to get you anything

KinkyAfro · 20/08/2015 09:45

You signed up to a website to 'borrow' someone's dog, they didn't ask you to look after the dog. You said they didn't thank you but they sent you a text no?

Not sure what the issue is

WienerDiva · 20/08/2015 09:48

I know the site well. The dog owner pays £40+ for an annual subscription to find dog borrowers and the borrower pays around a tenner £10. As far as the owners are concerned they are doing you a favour.

You benefit from playing doggy mum without the financial burden, permanent clearing up after it etc. They get comfort from the knowledge that their pooch is being cared for by someone who genuinely loves dogs and it isn't going to cost them a fortune.

If it's a mutually beneficial arrangement they shouldn't be showering you with gifts of gratitude.

It's different with regards to doing a favour for someone.

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