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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not trust dp with our toddler

4 replies

Inim · 19/08/2015 08:14

Whenever my partner has DS (just 2 years old) I get really panicked and worry a lot.
He doesn't seem to understand how to look after children but its not Jim being horrible its more... Stupid/ignorant. Sounds harsh but eg:

When DS was a tiny baby, despite me saying please don't and explaining why he would fall asleep on the sofa with DS and say I was worryin too much.

He doesn't think you need to cut up grapes. He does when I'm.about but If I'm in a different room and he thinks I won't see he doesn't. I just don't buy them now.

He has left DS eating in his high chair on his own and gone outside for a fag!

He gave him a lolly pop on the roundabout in the park, I know cause he showed me a picture.

He got up with DS once when he was 1.5ish (id been ill) and went back to sleep on the sofa.I woke up to find DS playing with a charger and the plug socket.

He doesn't lock the balcony door. DS is a climber.

I have a massive chest of dtaweres in my room, dp let's him CLIMB THEM. Now attached to the wall.

Lots of things like this.

It's like regardless of what I say, or explain to him, he just pretends to listen or claims he doesn't do these things anyway then carries on. I try even just subtlety telling him stories I've read about toddlers getting hurt from things hoping it was I'll scare him but no. I know I'm a bit paranoid about safety but surely this stuff isbt normsl to do? Or is it?

I feel like his bloody mother but I just don't know how to get him to take DS safety seriously. But I also feel like a bitch and I know DS is his too.

OP posts:
ThunderClown · 19/08/2015 08:19

You don't sound paranoid about safety at all. He sounds like a dick. I've just had this chat with DH about his parents who think we are ridiculous to insist on things like cut up grapes and car seats and we decided that we would not allow them to look after the DC alone. I'm really not sure what I'd do if it was my DH who was being so risky Flowers

shiteforbrains · 19/08/2015 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

123456abcde · 19/08/2015 08:36

I have nc for this post as I don't want to out myself.

My husband is exactly the same. He's taking our toddler camping in a couple of weeks (I can't go for several reasons) but I can't trust him to go alone, so I've had to beg my dad to go with him!

He's previously taken ds on a roof, allows him to travel home from the childminder without being in his car seat (his argument is that 'it's only round the corner!' Which it is, but it's not the point!), he also said he wanted to take ds on a boat trip while they're in the Lake District (Yeh...get a 2yo to sit still for an hour while you a row round a lake!) to name but a few things.

He's also stupidly lax on rules about eating dinner. I finish work later than him so by the time I get home to prepare dinner he's already given ds every bit of junk food he could possibly ask for, meaning he won't eat a proper meal. I regularly come home to find that 'dinner' has been a bag of crisps, an ice lolly and a couple of yogurts!

It's absolutely infuriating! I feel like I have no control over how our son is brought up at all since everything I say he undermines! You absolutely have my sympathy and if you find a solution please let me know because I'm at the end of my tether! Flowers

BrianButterfield · 19/08/2015 08:38

What it is with these man children? DH was slightly sceptical about the grapes until I showed him some of the things doctors have said (especially one quote that said if you designed something to choke a child it would be a grape) and now he's the one chopping them up at other people's birthday parties!

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