AIBU to delay getting pregnant for wedding?

[Reddottys12]

OH and I have agreed to start trying for another baby early next year. We are also planning to get married next year in the summer and due to overseas family and friends only being available in the summer, we really can't budge on the wedding month. So, is it silly to delay getting pregnant just so that I'm not fat and uncomfortable on my wedding day? I'm in my mid 30's so not keen to wait too long to try again. But at the same time, I'd really like to enjoy my wedding day! What to do!??

I wouldn't delay. You can always postpone your wedding or have a big first anniversary party. I think when you think of the impact on the rest of your life, not being able to drink on your wedding day pales into insignificance besides not being a parent.

I guess it depends how your body handles pregnancy. I was 16 weeks pregnant when I got married - I felt too sick to eat the food, too knackered to dance and throughout my pregnancy found my poor dh the most irritating man on the planet.

I get so upset thinking about my wedding as I was so fucking miserable.

One option might be to start the New Year with a health kick start for you both. Give up booze, exercise and eat healthily etc and come off the pill only using condoms for example. It took me about 6 months to get a regular cycle as I'd be on the pill since I turned about 20. If you started trying around Easter and got pregnant immediately chances are that you would not be noticeably pregnant by the wedding date.

Just a word of warning. I think we'd have spent a lot less on our wedding if I'd been pregnant. It does rather focus the mind on what's important

I refused to start trying for a baby until we were married. There are no guarantees in life but I did want the legal security that marriage gives. We had also thrashed out how long I would take as maternity leave, how we would fund that and how it would work when I went back to work. My point is that the timing of a wedding/baby is one thing but try to remember the long game before getting pregnant.

I would delay it.

Do not wait. I started ttc in 2010, DS1 was born in 2015. It was a long long struggle.

I was 10 weeks pregnant on our wedding day, after trying for nearly a year. It was a perfect day, I wouldn't have changed it. Not drinking meant I took it all in and talked to everyone, I would have been drunk and not done this otherwise! However if I had felt more sick than I did it could have affected the experience. Oh and no one knew as I hadn't started to show, just had massive breasts which filled out my dress!

I second getting your hormone levels checked to see if you are likely to have any issues. And how old are you... I know you said mid thirties, but 33 or 37 could make a big difference. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Wouldn't worry too much about delaying. Particularly if by mid 30s you mean 34 rather than almost 37. Yes you're in your mid 30s, but you have a child already so statistically you're more likely to be able to conceive than a woman of your age who hasn't. And you're talking what, 4-7 months max?

We were trying to conceive early 2009 in the run up to our June wedding (I knew I had pcos so delaying further wasn't an option). We had already been trying for over a year. Ds finally arrived November 2010. I was 32 by the time he was born. I personally wouldn't advise delaying, but you may be lucky and fall pregnant just from being breathed on.

I would wait. Not fun to be pregnant at your wedding I imagine, especially if you are feeling sick, especially tired, uncomfortable etc.