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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in wanting to hit this father on the head with plastic spade?

42 replies

bananaandcustard · 18/08/2015 18:28

In Cornwall on beach ( btw didnt need to wear new raincoat, beautiful weather here) sitting watching families on happy , sunny day.

Beautiful red haired baby of about 13 months, crawls up to her dad and older brother laughing and smiling in delight at her own progress across the sand.
Daddy is making some sand castles, which is fair enough, its part of the experience. Older brother about 5 yrs is standing, spade in hand watching Daddy intently.
Baby grabs hold of a bucket, looks in it and waves it above head laughing, Daddy looks up, frowns and calls for his wife (who has only just returned from chasing after swift footed middle child of about 2/3yrs ) and tells her to take the baby away as she is going damage the castles.

Baby is removed, screeching loudly.
Daddy returns to castle making. After 5 mins he briefly explains to son the correct way to form a moat with his spade and hand, and son is allowed, finally to take part in the fun.

As the afternoon goes on mum is looking after the younger children, while older son awaits his instruction to be included in sand castle making by his father. Father enjoys himself very much playing the sand.
I suspect that father wasnt allowed to play with sand much as a child, and is enjoying himself while mentally patting himself on the back for 'playing' with his children.

I really, really, want to hit him smartly with a plastic spade on the side of his head.

AIBU?

OP posts:

RiverTam · 18/08/2015 20:03

For all you know dad could have done all the running around yesterday! Honestly, chill out and focus on enjoying yourself instead of judging people you know zilch about and then posting on MN about it.

rookiemere · 18/08/2015 20:11

Oh dear yes I am close to certain people who have tendencies this way. It's really annoying and very common.

conniedescending · 18/08/2015 20:11

Good lord... Instead of psychoanalysing this family all day maybe you should have been paying more attention to your family. You're quite over involved in what Sarandon family on the beach were doing!

googoodolly · 18/08/2015 20:30

And you know all this from one afternoon snapshot at the beach?

Dad likes building sandcastles therefore he never does any work and leaves mum to do everything? Err, okay then.

Goldmandra · 18/08/2015 20:37

I wonder if he's the same man who brought his DS to our church Easter workshop and couldn't let the poor little sod decide where to stick his own bits of tissue paper on his cardboard stained glass window. I had to bite my tongue very hard indeed!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 18/08/2015 20:42

Bet he glues his kid's Lego models together...

Is this bad? I've been seriously considering it...

MrsReiver · 18/08/2015 20:48

Were you with your own children? Did you spend much quality time with them while you were scrutinising this family's every move?

Pepperpot99 · 18/08/2015 20:52

oh stop sucking lemons MrsReiver

OP I wouldn't bother with the plastic spade but I would stuff his mouth full of sand. That'll shut him up....

ScrambledSmegs · 18/08/2015 21:02

I know someone like this. Sadly for him, rather than a polite child who stands and waits patiently for their non-existent turn, he got 2 force-of-nature types who never listen to a word he says.

The scene the OP described would generally end with the DCs jumping all over the sand castles while their anally retentive dad cries into his bucket

MrsReiver · 18/08/2015 21:09

I love a bit of people watching myself, but I don't think I have ever monitored a family as closely as the OP appears to have done. Or have I been people watching all wrong? Do I need to buy a notepad and prepare a flask of weak lemon drink?

thehypocritesoaf · 18/08/2015 21:13

You should have seen my castle this year! Four towers, moat and garderobes. It was the best.

Littlegreyauditor · 18/08/2015 22:20

Ah yes, one of those.

We had an incident here with some Lego, during which DH was heard to say "no DS! play with it with your eyes "

He has since been disabused of the notion that Lego toys bought for his small child are his to control, whether or not instructions are followed by said child. (He can be as anal and freakish as he likes with his own Lego, just not with DS's). I am fairly certain my determination on this matter causes him actual physical pain.

I am wiling to bet that the dad in question was some sort of engineer.

MrsMcColl · 18/08/2015 23:36

I can totally picture it, OP. I'd have wanted to smack him too.

OhIDoLikeToBeBeside · 18/08/2015 23:42

This could be us if you were sitting some distance away. Except that DS would not be waiting patiently for his 'turn' but directing his minions parents exactly how he wanted his castle constructed.

GarminGirl · 19/08/2015 00:10

I'm sure the mum has a tongue in her head.... She could say 'your turn now'

Quite easily

Fatmomma99 · 19/08/2015 00:33

At work I run a club which has parents doing an activity once a week with their child. The most common way this runs is that the parent takes over and the child ends up watching (it generally starts with the parent taking an instruction from the child, or helping them with a thing they find tricky, but then invariably take over). Week after week after week I see the children just sitting there watching the parent take over their creation.

I don't think it's rare.

(but you should've SEEN my sandcastle! DD's attempt was rubbish!)

MrsReiver · 19/08/2015 08:19

I am wiling to bet that the dad in question was some sort of engineer.

As the daughter of an engineer - probably!

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