Sleep when the baby sleeps

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Aibu to get really irritated when people say sleep when the baby sleeps.

How is it possible to this this enough to catch up?

I'm probably getting around 5 hours with ds2 atm. He's waking around every 2.5 hours and at times taking ages to go back to sleep by which point I'm wide awake.

He's difficult to settle during the day and usually does so while I'm out shopping or something, he's a really light sleeper too, the slightest noise wakes him.

The times when he is sleeping I'm having to do essentials round the house, washing, washing bottles, eating, showering, grabbing a moment with ds1. People say leave the housework but I'm keeping it tidy and ticking over I'm not exactly ironing the tea towels.

The times I do decide to have a sleep he wakes up within 10 minutes or the door goes or the phone rings.

It was easier with ds1 who slept all the time, was happy to sit in his chair and I could live on eating sandwiches at 9pm.

It's not a great idea if you have a baby who only sleeps at 70mph.

YANBU!

I found the concept actually really counterproductive because when you're sleep deprived and trying to get a baby to nap the idea that you won't get a sleep until they do isn't helpful. I found that mentally i got on much better telling myself 'this is a sleeping lesson' and forgetting the idea of a sleep! Somehow when you start thinking that you might get a sleep it's devastating when it doesn't happen.

I think (15 years on from my first baby so it is a Loong time ago] what that piece of advice means is:

try and muddle through with a few things whilst baby is awake - on playmat, bouncy chair, in a sling, draped over your shoulder, and then when baby really is sound asleep (if baby is sound asleep - I'm not saying this a regular occurrence) this should be your cue to hop into bed, lie down on the sofa, take phone off hook, turn off mobile etc, NOT your cue to try and catch up on jobs. Because if you can get that little bit of extra sleep in, the jobs you think you need to do, will be ten times easier to do when the baby is awake. For example if the baby is sleeping well in the day but awake fitfully at night (often they do that in first few weeks) you NEED to use that time in the day to cope with the night. The only thing that really matters is that you have the strength to get through and look after the baby and for some people letting go of the things they think they need to do and prioritize sleep and essential jobs is a useful piece of advice.

by which I mean - I was amazed how many people in my NCT group used to appear with ironed clothes, and makeup, and their houses were immaculate, yet complained they didn't have time to sleep in the day. Just WHY???? It made them miserable. No doubt they thought it made them more miserable not to have ironed clothes and tidy houses but in the end they made a choice to rush around being organised and be sleep deprived. There was another way... the baby didn't care if the clothes was ironed or the floors mopped.

bringthenoise - that is so funny. A great response.

I think it is irritating advice, because it does sound like just telling Mums to stop moaning.

I did quite well at it with ds (dc2) but only because dd (dc1) was at school. It's clearly useless advice to anyone with a toddler!

I agree it is not helpful advice. I found the best way to counteract sleep deprivation was not so much by napping in the day but by going to bed earlier. So dcs would be in bed by 7.30ish and I would aim to be in bed by 9 (sometimes even earlier!) ready for an early start. Not every single night, but just so I could keep on top of the sleep deprivation thing. That way if I was up in the night I had a bit of sleep in the bag or if the day started at 5.30am (which it sometimes did!) I'd still got seven or eight hours.

Not rtft but just a thought.... A baby who doesn't like being put down, sleeps lightly/disturbed easily, wakes up screaming from deep sleep.....sounds like silent reflux. My DD was like that and suffered with reflux and cmpi.

Just a thought. Omeprazole was the only. Thing that made a difference to her sleep. That and naps in the sling during the day.