AIBU for being sick of the different rules for SN dc?

[Peppasmate]

I have 2 DS diagnosed with ASD & ADHD. They are 10 & 7.

DS 10 was 7 when he went to school full time. He started school in mainstream but owas excluded on a number of occasions from nursery until Yr 1 when he was permanently excluded & placed in a PRU... He eventually was placed in an AS school.

Younger son is less affected but was excluded in YR 2 at Easter from mainstream.

He's been out of school since. LEA promised he would be placed in an AS school this coming September (he's going into Yr3). To date I have had no notification or response from the LEA so no idea if he or where he will be going to school.

Can you imagine how stressful it is?
Can you imagine if I refused to send him to school?
Imagine if an NT child was left out of school until juniors...
I'm absolutely exhausted & sick to death of dealing with the LEA/Parent Partnership etc.

Contact SOS SEN - [email protected] - about sending a formal letter threatening court proceedings (judicial review) if they don't finalise the EHCP and sort out education for the beginning of term. If you did have to start a claim it would be in your dc's name so he would get legal aid, but the council will probably concede as soon as they see you mean business.

Op, I'm very sorry to hear about this. If it helps, The National Autistic Society has a school exclusions service that provides advice for parents in your position--maybe give them a call? Details here

Yanbu at all OP, DS is also 7 with ASD and it took them 9 months to sort out respite - even when is was sorted it was only the tip of the iceberg sadly.

He has a statement and we moved areas in feb - he is about to start school in sept at a SN school. It took them 7 months to find him a place because he kept getting rejected for mainstream schools (schools 'couldn't accomodate nappy changes' or 'couldn't provide 1:1' etc) and he hadn't even been excluded from anywhere! His NT brother got a place (in a very overpopulated area) within a week. How is that fair?

His previous school would send him home on days they preferred him not to be there, such as whole school events, asked me to come on day trips so I could supervise him while they used his 1:1 for other children (outright told me this) and suspended him for completely normal autistic behaviour he couldn't control. They also refused to let him attend school full time for 18 months. None of which would have happened if he did not have asd but because he does it somehow makes it ok for them to treat him this way, they made excuses based on his asd to justify their behaviour and it's disgusting.

We are still waiting for a dentist appointment with the SN specialist, we were referred last October. How is that ok that he has to wait that long, potentially in pain, for a frigging dentist appointment? Again, his brother had 2 appointments to sort out his teeth within a month. It just isn't fair. Obviously I understand if there is a big demand for the SN dentist the waiting list is long but if the waiting list is that long then, I don't know, maybe take on some more specialists to deal with the demand so patients aren't having to wait almost a year for a bloody appointment?!

Sorry for the hijack, it's frustrating and shit, I very much sympathise. The SN board in here is very helpful and supportive.

Completely sympathise. I'm about to start one formal complaint to the local authority about my youngest and one to the NHS about my eldest (regarding referral issues not an individual). It's shit and unnecessary strain that none of us need.

YANBU they are treating your ds appalling As they are also brwaking the law, I suggest you start legal proceedings against them (if you do it on behalf of your ds who is being denied an education he should be entitled to legal aid) or at least threaten to do this through SOS SEN (above poster has details).

I can see why it doesn't happen but part of me would love to see a whole wave of discrimination cases like this in court.

I second the idea of contacting your MP. Contact the constituency office and ask for an urgent meeting.
And I wish you and your whole family all the very best

If schools are saying that they can't meet his needs, this would suggest that they are treating him as if he has an EHCP- a child without an EHCP must be offered a place if there is one available unless they have been permanently excluded twice (in which case they should be considered by the Fair Access Panel). Hopefully an admissions expert will correct me if I am mistaken on this.

Part of the problem seems to be about whether he has an EHCP or not.

Would you feel comfortable PMing me your LA, OP?

a period of deschooling

This is not something that even really exists!

In England and Wales a home educated child is genrally allowed (guideline not rule) a short period of adjustment time that the LA tend to give before they start getting stroppy about you not either declining a visit and providing an ed Phil or accepting a visit, during that time you are legally obliged to still provide an education in line with the relevant section of the education act.

So you are still meant to be educating only at home this translates as home education, the op has already said that HE is not what she wants

Sorry, but that's tosh. The LA have zero legal rights to visit or demand anything but a statement from the parent that they are providing an education to the child.

And"education" has no formal definition. You can provide an education in any way you like. Going for a walk in the woods every day or watching you do an online food shop is "education".

needsasock - my ds was 4 and therefore not legally required to be in education, so we were not even contacted by the LEA for over a year.

They visited us once, spent more time looking at my cinema room, rewrote the report I had written for them and left us alone.

My DS is 7 now and we have never been visited again.

I am not complaining, I get on perfectly well with the LEA, but you are mistaken if you think they support home educated kids. Once that de reg letter is in, you are off their radar!

And disappointed is right... Education can look however you want it to look. We do follow the curriculum, sort of, but most learning takes place outside or on visits to museums etc.

For my DS I would actively say that taking a trip to hairdressers or dentist is part of his education. So is legoland...

I do appreciate the op has said home de isn't something she wNts to consider long term, so I'll leave it there.