Is it possible to change from being an extrovert to being an introvert?

[lilifer]

In my teens and twenties I was a total extrovert. I thrived on having many many friends and going out as much as possible, and loved meeting new people and had endless energy for going out.

Now, 20 years on, i am still really interested in people and love chatting one to one, but really loath the idea of parties, and (god forbid) having a big party for say my 50th which is a few years off yet but already dreading my dh trying to organise something. I love nothing more than flopping in to my comfy armchair at the end of the day and i feel quite claustrophobic when i have a lot of social engagements all lined up, makes me feel trapped somehow.

Why have i changed so much? Is it marriage and kids? Is this what getting old is?

It's not an unusual pattern. You cast your net widely when you're young and then whittle down the numbers till you end up with the people - or person - that really matter to you. There's a great Seinfeld ep where he talks about the point where you're no longer 'recruiting' friends. Doesn't happen to everyone but it's pretty common.

I'm finding myself getting more introvert. I'm at the young family stage, and by the time I've had a day of being mauled by a toddler and concentrating on pre-schooler conversation, I'm socially done in and want quiet and my own space. Work days are as bad as I have a socially demanding job.

I hope that when the demands and constraints of family life ease, that I'll become more sociable again.

You could absolutely be me ForEsme. The biggest problem I have, is that after years of being an antisocial bugger, DH is suddenly Mr sociable.

Tinkly i feel your pain. My dh is ridiculously extrovert. His motto is The more The merrier! likes nothing more than a night out, and loves people coming uo to us and chatting for ever (which drives me mad when its our rare night out away from kids and i want dh to myself) Dh really encourages this and is always looking for a bit more distraction. He would LOVE a big 50th birthday party, nothing would please him more whereas i would rather pull my own teeth than have a ME ME ME 50th party!

I changed from.an extrovert to an introvert between the ages of 4 and 10. Should have happened quicker but I was slow to learn. I think I may have become more reclusive rather than just introverted in recent years so not much of a leap to think someone could become more introverted as they age.

Why not do some personality testing to see what you are...it might be that you aren't an extrovert as imagined...this could help you see where you are personality wise before adding your life stage into the mix

If you feel claustrophobic or anxious in more situations than you really like to admit then maybe speak to your GP about it to get a referral

I find myself more insular but still extrovert really !

I had a party for my 40th. One of my BFFs had JUST had a baby (who was 6 months at my party), and the mum said "we'll come for as long as we can" so for the party, I TOTALLY focussed on her, because we only had her for a limited time. Her baby stayed awake until after 10:30 that night, and several of my other friends had left by the time they did.

If I reach 50, I'll do small, intimate gatherings (hopefully several of them) and actually give time and attention to people I care about.

That was the lesson I learned!

But I also think.. whatever works for you!