To be hesitating to return to this doctor after he "tweaked" my nose?

[Greythorne]

First, I am in France, so go direct to Gynecologist rather than practice nurse or GP.

I went for a smear and breast exam last summer. Doctor was very jolly, wanted to speak to me in English even though I speak fluent French (lived here over 10 years).

During the smear, I just casually asked about the episiotomy scar. It is not something I really think about but had two episiotomies and just wondered if there was visible scarring, so I asked.

He replied no, it was all fine. Then added, don't worry, you can hit the online dating sites no worries.

Then, as I finished the exam and I sat up, he reached up to my face and "tweaked" my nose, like you would affectionately to a child.

I feel really ill at ease about returning to see him this year but can't be fecked to find a new doctor and go through the whole rigmarole of registering and explaining my medical history.

I am now putting off going to have a smear / breast exam. Although I know IABU, I just can't go back to him.

With part reimbursement from the government, as op gets then yes.

France has the best healthcare system in the world, hardly fair to say ours is crap in comparison defensive NHS worker

Ha, no lots of our health care is brilliant, especially critical care, but some parts are lacking. I think women should be able to have smears at a younger age than they currently do.
Sorry to derail your thread op.

I agree with your last post betty!

If you want to change doc do it. If it were me i wouldn't. Id have found the joke funnyand i've been with my dp nearly 6 years and my doctors know it.
Whenever i have smears i just carry on our conversation with the nurse or my doctors. I used to find them embarassing now if we just carry on what we were talking about it makes it easier. Me and the nurse have had some very funny conversations during them.

pigsDOfly she isn't paying for it privately that is the way it is done in France unless you have very low income or are having emergency treatment.

We pay for appointments etc, the state reimburses a % and the top up insurance covers the rest. More costly top up insurance will cover some extras too, like a private room in hospital.

In op'so case it is the normal way of doing it, not paying privately.

Sorry to derail.

Ok, I am surprised by the responses saying they would not be bothered.

I just felt incredibly uncomfortable, lying stark naked (as is usual for this type of exam, smear first, then breat exam, so you are asked to strip off, feet in stirrups for the smear then the breat exam.)

I never asked my DH about the scar because the subject seems very medical and I knew if my DH did tell me there was a huge scar, it would be hard to come to terms with. I did not want him poking around looking for scars which seems a rather unromantic thing to do, so I thought an impartial doctor could give me a medical viewpoint, even though, as I said unthread, it is not something that preys on my mind unduly.

The being naked, the joke about internet dating, the tweak on the nose, it all left me feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable and I am surprised because I tend not to think of myself as a very sensitive little flower as a rule.

Yes highly inappropriate imo. You'd asked about scarring and he made a joke about your sex life.

Pf. Those forrin people are weird.
Just get on with it.

No wonder you felt vulnerable lying there like that. I think that in itself is inappropriate- why the need to be absolutely naked? Surely you could be covered with blankets which could be moved when necessary?
I've never been completely uncovered for any medical procedure/examination.

Is this normal in France or just normal for this Dr? And I do think his comment was inappropriate!

" Pf. Those forrin people are weird.
Just get on with it."
What?

Slightly missing the point, I know, but... If you want to know if you have a visible scar, why don't you look? Lie down, get a mirror, have a look. I would look, if I wanted to know something about my own body. It seems slightly strange that you're relying on other people's opinions on that.

There are doctors in Paris who don't expect you to strip off for smear tests and breast exams. I personally cannot abide French ob-gyns (had my DD in England to avoid stirrups/episiotomies etc) - retrograde mysogynistic horror practice IMVHO.

I'm a GP. the joke and the nose tweak were both completely inappropriate and in this country a complaint would be taken seriously.

you were lying stark asked. this doesn't sound right to me

naked

This wouldn't bother me at all. Italian doctors can be familiar like that I suppose I am used to that manner.
But it bothered you. That's whats inportant. So don't return if it makes you uncomfortable you don't need to see him again.

I was going to say completely inappropriate and you should complain, but then saw you are in France. Don't waste your breath, no one will understand why you were upset. Jokes about affairs, multiple sex partners and general liberality about sex are simply considered funny. Unnecessary physical contact, e.g. pats, shoulder squeezes and apparently nose tweaks, are part of general communication. I think you'd be better off changing doctors than trying to get this one to see your point of view.