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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get this annoyed over chocolate?

40 replies

LondonBetti · 13/08/2015 19:07

I am about two months into a healthy life attempt - strict low carbing, exercising etc - trying to loose baby weight (a few stone!) and just feel fitter and better about myself. Also I've a big event next month and am about a half stone off my gorgeous dress fitting properly!

DH just arrived back from a business trip with 6 (yes 6!) massive bars of (really nice) chocolate as a present for me. I think it's inconsiderate and unsupportive, why spend £30+ on chocolate? He thinks I'm never happy Confused

What do you think?

OP posts:
SinglePringle · 14/08/2015 00:50

I'd throw it out / donate it to the food bank.

It's what I do with gift chocolate.

ApocalypseThen · 14/08/2015 09:34

Hang on, last week he's slagging you off about your weight, this week he's buying you that amount of chocolate? He definitely has a point of view that he's expressing. No accident.

Notgoodwithwords · 14/08/2015 09:40

Im with you op.. I'd be annoyed & much rather have the £30 to have my nails done for the occasion ... I'm sure my exh deliberately used to attempt to sabotage my diet with 'little treats'... Hmm

fuzzpig · 14/08/2015 09:53

I was all for YABU until he said you were too fat for a dress - what's that about then?

In any case I'd just enjoy it very slowly - IMHO it's healthier long term to be able to make things like that last, rather than denying yourself everything and then risking a slip which leads to scoffing the lot. I mean that in the nicest possible way - I'm only just learning this kind of self control now, and it's hard - but I'm quite proud that there are some yummy things in the cupboard (although no posh chocolate Envy:() that I'm actually quite happy leaving there and only nibbling on occasionally.

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 14/08/2015 10:28

Ok so, at best, it's a lazy and thoughtless gift - he picked it up at the airport on the way home in a panic because he hadn't thought to get you a gift earlier. Kind of along the lines of, as they're getting to the last call for boarding, 'Ooo quick! I know, London likes chocolate and that looks ok, especially if I buy loads.'

At worst, he's trying to sabotage your diet and undermine your confidence at the same time (depends on exactly what he said about being too fat for the dress and whether it was in response to being asked etc).

But there can be all kinds of other stuff happening behind this. How is he with you being confident, doing things independently, having success outside of the home?

Does he have a thing for fat women? I know someone who cheated on his DW at the end of a diet when she'd successfully lost 3 stones - the OW was about 2 stones heavier than DW had ever been (pregnancy aside).

My DH was brought up to think that food is love. He shows love by bringing food treats and making 'treat' ie unhealthy meals. My family was the same. DH feels hurt when his food is rejected. We talk about it openly but he still does it. He is much better at hiding his disappointment if I say no thanks.

It's a wonder we're not all enormous.

Or it might be nothing but a silly mistake. I'm just interested because of the food dynamic in my family. What's he like usually?

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 14/08/2015 10:28

Oh and I think PPs are right, if you want to drive him nuts, don't eat the chocolate or give it away Grin

RonaldosAbs · 14/08/2015 11:30

Why can't you all just have it in the cupboard to have a square here and there? I'm super healthy and fit (lost 9 stone years and years ago), I have a bit here and there. You can have a little here and there without it effecting your diet, no need to scoff the lot all at once Hmm

pigsDOfly · 14/08/2015 11:35

Because not everyone is able to do that Ronald especially when their confidence is low and they've only just started a new, healthier, way of eating.

Her DH is being very unfair and unsupportive.

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 14/08/2015 11:42

Because not everyone has your wondrful will power, self control and people skills Ronaldo. Grin

fourtothedozen · 14/08/2015 11:49

Do you have kids OP? I am sure they would help, have their friends around for a baking afternoon.

Or you could look on it as an exercise in self restraint. I have a chocolate/sweets cupboard where keep multi packs of chocolate bars, Twirls, Wispas, Walnut Whips etc. It's open to the whole family, we all just help ourselves.

Except we don't. Chocolate can lie for weeks.

fuzzpig · 14/08/2015 11:54

Yes lots of people find it hard. But to me the point of this would be learning to only eat it a little bit at a time. Habits can be changed. I'm assuming Ronaldo did if they were once 9st heavier? (In which case they must understand that it doesn't come naturally to everyone - possibly a big factor in them being overweight to start with... certainly is for me!)

It's hard work - I know because I'm trying hard to do it now - but I really do think it's healthier in the long term. For me, throwing it out would just make me think of nothing else, and then when I did decide to have some chocolate I'd almost certainly end up having too much (as a reward for having nothing the previous time).

One of my dodgy character traits is being very 'all or nothing' (not just in relation to food) so I completely understand how it's hard. Sometimes I would leave a big bar of chocolate in the cupboard for days without touching it... but when I opened it, well it wouldn't last more than a day, or even an hour (I'd take a bit and leave the rest in the cupboard... within 5 minutes I'd go back).

So I think this could be a good opportunity to really try and break that habit. Sorry I'm a bit evangelical about it Blush because it's been a revelation that I can actually do that.

Belleview · 14/08/2015 11:59

Thoughtless of him. I would give it away if I were you. It's the opposite of what you want. Don't keep it around, it'll sabotage your efforts.

Belleview · 14/08/2015 12:01

Do the exercise in self restraint thing once you've reached your target size/weight, if you like. Right now, your already working hard, without the extra pressure of a huge nice choc stash.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 14/08/2015 15:49

I think YANBU
he is sabotaging you. LTB

msrisotto · 14/08/2015 15:57

I'd give it away. I love chocolate and that is my problem! Getting rid of it just solves the problem.

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