Please bare with me so I can explain properly, this will be quite long winded though!
We moved away when I was pregnant with DD being 16 I had no choice but to go too.
Since moving I haven't had many friends, so don't have many people to talk to about this, except my husband and a few friends who are like family- who will all tell me that my parents are despicable people, but having never been in this situation can't really advise me.
So my family have treated me like an outsider since I met my partner about 5 years ago, all of a sudden I wasn't invited to family things, the phone wouldn't be answered. No one took any interest in our lives. But for the most part they kept in my daughter's life.
Ive always allowed them access to her, even when we haven't been on speaking terms.
So I decided I would get married this year, in January I started planning. I saw my mother at the end of Jan. After this she wouldn't answer her phone at all. I literally needed to go to her house to speak with her. She would just 've sat smoking but not answering the phone...
Which grated on me so much! There would be getvtogetgers I wouldn't be invited to. We would make plans, for her to tell me these plans were never made, or she forgot. Or that she had to go to work and got my stepdad to tell me she was going to work instead.
It got to the point where I turned up to the house and she didn't even say hello.
That afternoon I called my dad and asked him to tell her I needed to speak to her. She finally called back and said she didn't think I was staying and that's why she didn't say hello. She also told me that she was so busy which was why she hadn't called or text me back in over 5 months.
I told her I missed her and I wanted to see her, and would love her to get involved in helping me to plan the wedding, as its something I thought mothers and daughters did together. She then told me this is why no one wants anything to do with me. I guilt people into doing what I want.
this stems from my birthday when she said we would do anything I wanted, I said a spa day. I'd found a promotion at my health club and I would pay for us- she left itvtill the day before luv birthday to say she didn't want to go, how about we got my Nan and went for Costa instead and I said no and went to the spa as I'd paid for treatments
So anyway. She tells me I'm stuck up, and I need to go f mmyself. And I tell her that's fine, don't come to my wedding. And contact me when you want to treat me like I'm a member of your family.
The crest of my family decide not to come to my weddingm except one. Who turns up. Creates a shot storm and leaves halfway through.
The 3 weeks running up to the wedding my dad who's been arranging contact has been a bit funny, Lessig about with dates and times etc. So I say, how about the day after the wedding?
Yes he says. I've got the day off, I say great I'll drop her off with you at 3.
The day after the wedding I text and say were heading back. Meet you at 3? No reply. So I call, no reply. I go to where I should have met him. Not there.
So we wait for half an hour then go home.
I then saw him in town about 2 wks ago. He completely blanked us.
My daughter is distraught. She's in tears all the time cos she misses her g parents.
I don't really know what to say or do. Its obvious they want nothing to do with us which is fine because they are a pretty messed up family, but I don't know how to deal with the fact my DD is hurt.
The past year has been tough, she's just overcome bullying within the school setting. Now her grandparents have dissappeared on her.
I can't help but feel it's all my fault. Which I know distracts me. I just want her to be happy and feel secure.