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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be slightly taken aback?

44 replies

MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 09:41

Now I know I may be a complete innocent and am completely open to the possibility that I may BU, but I'm feeling not a little shocked.

We'd just parked up to go to a cafe for breakfast (treat for the DCs in the holidays) and a young man passing me stopped to ask me how much it was to park in this area. I told him and turned back to the DCs to ask them to stay with the car and so he was at the machine before me. I did what I needed to do and we all walked slowly to the cafe.

To find this young man settling himself down outside begging for change!

Surely if he can afford to run a car, he doesn't need to beg? Or do some people actually see this as a job? Seriously, I feel like I've just seen a different world! God, I am really naïve, aren't I.Sad

OP posts:
DJThreeDog · 11/08/2015 09:45

Shock Well if you are then so am I!

DeeWe · 11/08/2015 09:48

I'd assume he was probably needing change for the car park having come out with no cash.

However when I liked in Oxford there were a number of professional beggars who lived in a big house outside the city and were dropped off by car every day.
That's one reason I don't give directly to people begging but donate to charity instead.

pretend · 11/08/2015 09:50

Whaaaa? I confess I'm a small town girl, but I'm Shock at this!

Redshoes55 · 11/08/2015 09:51

That's actually quite funny though op. You have to admire his cheek and no one has to give to beggers. It's a choice.

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 09:51

Oh no, he was sitting cross-legged and pulling a blanket over his knees. This was in no way a 'can you spare some change for the car park' scenario!

OP posts:
HighwayDragon · 11/08/2015 09:51

Did he actually arrive by car? A parking machine is a good place to sit, people can't tell you that they've not got any change when they're putting change into a machine can they?

Spartans · 11/08/2015 09:52

I live in a small city. We have a few professional beggars. 2 live together in a vey nice house on the next street to my mum. They must do ok out of it. It doesn't shock me at all.

SwingingBalls · 11/08/2015 09:53

As a matter of interest, what car was he driving? Was it better than yours Grin

Spartans · 11/08/2015 09:54

And then we have a man who hangs round the bus station asking for bus fare as he needs to get to Leeds General infirmary for an appointment. He has been there everyday for at least 20 years

Charis1 · 11/08/2015 09:54

are you sure he had a car?

LeChien · 11/08/2015 09:54

There were rumours of a professional beggar in a town near me, apparently he used to park his brand new BMW and go and settle down in his sleeping bag.
No idea if it was true or not, but he was always in the same doorway whenever I ventured into town.

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 09:54

I saw him putting money in the machine.

He's sat outside the cafe, on a different street across from where we parked.

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 11/08/2015 09:56

There was an investigation into this by one of the papers a few years back. One professional beggar in London was making over £50k a year from the public! He lived in a nice house in the suburbs, got a train in every day, changed into grubby clothes then sat and begged. Shameful and bizarre!

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 09:58

I didn't see his car, paid him no attention after I started sorting out my own ticket.

Better than mine? Ooh, hadn't thought of that. I have to admit, I would be more Angry and lessShock!

OP posts:
Redshoes55 · 11/08/2015 10:00

Why is it shameful? To be honest it's fairly enterprising. No one has to fine them money.

Give to homeless charities and then you won't get duped.

Snozberry · 11/08/2015 10:00

There is a woman in my town who pretends to be pregnant and homeless, I know she is pretending as she has been pregnant since I was and my DD is two. Horrible con artists.

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 10:04

Oh, now there's a lady in a part of town who sells the Big Issue and I always try to give her something, either food or nappies or if I've cash I'll buy a copy. But I have to admit I don't tend to give cash to beggars.

If I hadn't seen him buying the parking ticket, I might have picked up a bacon sandwich for him...

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 10:05

And I never said it was shameful. Only that I was Shock about it being considered a job.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/08/2015 10:06

Professional beggars are everywhere around here, especially on the tube trains.

We had a family living a few streets away who regularly worked the underground stations.

The mother, grandmother and other female relatives used to pass a baby around between them. I expect that got them more money.

I haven't seen them for about a year though. The last I heard of them, the grandmother was in the court section of my local newspaper for stealing £27 worth of vitimins from Morrisons.

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 10:07

Vitamins!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/08/2015 10:08

It IS absolutely shameful to pretend to be something you're not, so that people feel they want to give you money out of the kindness of their own heart.

Just because they don't have to give it, doesn't make deception any less shameful.

happygirl87 · 11/08/2015 10:09

There are plenty of people who lose their jobs, get evicted from their houses and live in their cars. I don't know if the man you met was one of them, but for some the car is all they have.

LurkingHusband · 11/08/2015 10:11

I saw him putting money in the machine.

Maybe the beggar community use the machine to time their shifts ?

Original poster
MrsWembley · 11/08/2015 10:13

I assume TheFlis meant shameful in that it's dishonest. Yes, it is, but I'm not normally shocked by dishonesty, experienced too much of it.Sad

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 11/08/2015 10:15

I gave £10 to a beggar in Manchester when I was filled with Christmassy bonhomie. He had crutches and dragged his legs along the ground.

Then I saw him bounding up the steps to the Arndale Centre the next day, as I struggled up them one at a time with my stick.