Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to be pissed off by constant comments

36 replies

spillyobeans · 10/08/2015 22:13

Ok firstly when someone says something about parenting styles etc i know mostly they mean well etc and ultimately it comes down to me and dh as parents to do as we believe to be right, but...

Aibu to be annoyed at the constant comments, from mainly family, in regards to parenting, especially some very outdated oppinions.

I.e: about weaning and introducing solids at 6month "oh thats rubbish you should give him solids from 3months...ds is a hungry baby he will be looking for it"

About how my 5week old ds is 'spoiled' and 'taking the piss' (i quote from mil!) As i pick him up when hes crying. Fil even said hes attention seeking! I said you cant spoil a 5week old as they cry for a reason and mil just laughs and says oh no ds is too spoilt. ( but then if shes with him he doesnt get put down even if its obvious shes annoying him!)

Also just uneducated comments towards breastfeeding. I had a couple of long cluster feeding days and i was told that ds was 'taking the piss' out of me and just wanted to be on me and probably wasnt feeding and i should give him a bottle as he was obviously too hungry and my milk wasnt enough. Which as most breastfeeding mums know is bollocks.

Im not a doormat and bring them up on everything and say "well health visitor said this or breastfeeding support worker said this" and i just get scoffed at!

Sad
OP posts:
horsewalksintoabar · 10/08/2015 23:37

It's always the in-laws and strangers, isn't it?

Finola1step · 10/08/2015 23:41

At the weekend, I found a copy of a new baby book given by the hospital to my MIL in the late 1960s. I had a flick through and one bit jumped out. I'm paraphrasing but it said "Many new mothers worry about spoiling their babies. They worry that if baby is held for too long, baby will become spoilt and always need to be with mother. Young babies can not be spoilt". I almost choked on my coffee.

So back in the good old days, the NHS advice was babies can not be spoiled by being picked up and held. Yep, its been known for years. So all this "Well in my day..." should be taken with a big pinch of salts because it is used to cover personal ideas.

So from now on just tell MIL the positives and unfortunately, keep her at arm's length.

paulapompom · 10/08/2015 23:43

RowRow - a chicken bone!!!! I won't let my cats have a chicken bone. I bet when she gave birth there was no pain relief, just a big stick to bite on

Debinaround · 11/08/2015 00:04

Ah I feel your pain OP

I am breast feeding and feel like I have to justify myself to family all the time.

My aunty making sly digs about not being able to help more because I wont let him have a bottle. He won't bloody take a bottle woman.

A different aunty telling me I shouldn't sit cuddling him when I'm not feeding him. He should be put straight back into his Moses basket as soon as he has been fed/had nappy changed/been winded or he will be spoilt.

In laws were round last week, DS starts to cry, I was in the middle of making them coffees so he cried for maybe a minute or so before I could feed him. Mil says something like "oh I see your still breast feeding then" and I said yes and that was that.

The next day she phoned DH to tell him that while they were at our house DS was screaming with hunger and maybe I should think of giving formula because that is better for filling baby's up. My milk is probably not rich enough for him. They had discussed it with their friend who used to be a nurse and that was her advice apparently Hmm

And what is it about dummy's? Everyone wants him to have a dummy. Why? Mil says there is nothing cuter than a baby with a dummy in it's mouth but I think my baby has a beautiful mouth, why cover it up with a dummy if he's happy without one?Confused

Also the rush to get them on solids. I have been invited to a wedding when DS will be 5 months old. I have started expressing in the hope that by that time he will take a bottle. The few people I have mentioned my fear of him still not taking a bottle have all said not to worry as he will probably be on solids by then! What? Enough to leave him all day and night? I don't think so.

I just smile and nod at them all though. and moan about them on hereWink

Original poster
spillyobeans · 11/08/2015 00:16

Debinaround- yup same here!

What is it with peoples obssesion to give a bottle to 'give you a break'. Pil keep saying give him formula to fill him up over night and so someelse can feed him. Which is bullshit anyway as dh does nights so i would be feeding him anyway and more faff with a bottle, pkus the couple of times we gave formula he actually slept less (not that that was the reason for giving in the first place)

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 11/08/2015 00:22

Are you absolutely certain your MIL and FIL are not from another planet.
HTAF can a 5 week old baby take the piss, and be attention seeking,
He is a 5 week old new baby. They aught to be delirious with him. Their new grandson.
Honestly some people don't know when they've got it good.
The only and best advice I took was Get the baby used to noise be other least little thing. It could be something like a car going past. He/she will be awake. She could sleep through anything. Still can.

Original poster
spillyobeans · 11/08/2015 00:33

Oh yes he actually sleeps better with noise! Fire alarm, hoover, tv , you name it!

OP posts:
BettyCatKitten · 11/08/2015 00:37

A 5 week old baby 'taking the piss.'
It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.
Your baby your rules.
As for the chicken nugget comment, I wouldn't let these twats look after my cat, never mind my kids.
You have my sympathy op.

BlackeyedSusan · 11/08/2015 00:38

I gave my babies their first easter eggs, before they were a year old. I just processed them into breast milk first... Grin

and babies are attention seeking. they need bloody attention to survive.

Debinaround · 11/08/2015 00:39

I agree spill. It's such a fart on getting up in the night, finding your way in the dark to the kitchen, boiling the kettle and making up a bottle, running the bottle under the cold tap until it's ok to drink, then making your way back to bed to a baby who is screaming with hunger by this time and feeding him. Then having to repeat the whole thing because your baby is still a little bit hungry but has drank the whole bottle so you have to make another one for him to only drink 1oz then fall asleepGrin

Then you have to wash and sterilise the bottle. (Bottle fed ds1, remember it wellWink)

OR you can reach over and pick your baby up when you hear his first whimper and put him on your chest while your still in bed. He can feed until he's full then reach over and put him back in his cot. Jobs a good un.

But people still say you should give them a bottle because it's easier. It's fecking not! Confused

Original poster
spillyobeans · 11/08/2015 00:47

Exactly, bit perplexed by some of the comments! They mean well but dont listen !

Off to perfect my head tilt and nod

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page