AIBU to wonder where all the badly behaved children were?

[cariadlet]

I went out with dd and decided to treat us to lunch at a café. The one I chose is fairly big, known to be family friendly and all but 2 or 3 of the tables had families including children. There were a mixture of babies, toddlers and older children.

At one point I looked around and realised that every single child was sitting down (either on a normal chair, in a high chair or in a buggy). Moreover, every child was quiet. They were either eating (very nicely), chatting to the others on their table or doing something like playing with the toys or sticker books that their parents had had the foresight to bring with them.

Not one child was shouting or screaming (I wouldn't count a couple of minutes of crying from one of the babies), throwing food or running around the café.

That's not what I'd been lead to expect from some of the MN threads. Was I incredibly lucky or had I wandered into some strange parallel universe?

Emerald nailed it.

Some absolutely fantastic concoction that affects only children, applied liberally to all seats, surfaces, and sprayed throughout the air to ensure those children that remain in buggies are not immune.

Either that, or one of those sonic emitters that uses a high pitch that children and animals can hear, but adults have destroyed their hearing enough over the years that they have become protected.

Either way, the restaurant is drugging the children, and I need their secret !!!!

I wish they had used some amazing concoction - and had bottles for sale on the counter.
dd is 12 so I can now be completely smug relaxed when I take her out. But we do get the pre-teen strops and foot stamping at home.

" Single Parents are too poor to visit a restaurant "

this is why I used to get dirty looks from smug marrieds when my perfectly behaved children sat in a restaurant with me. Now I understand. Thanks.

I don't know about RTFT, how about read the whole post, rather than quoting selectively and out of context. It was only three lines long.

I dont see that it was out of context.
It's OK I know what people think of single parents and their offspring, have been at it for fifteen years now.
Ah well at least it was disguised as a "joke".

What, Coffee? I take my children out alone when their father is at work, why do you think people are assuming you're a single parent? Nobody will be looking at you thinking that, and so fucking what if they do?

"so fucking what if they do?"

yes that is true, thanks .
It did used to get to me a bit when we were on holiday in 'family' resorts.
Although it was usually the men who were dishing out the looks. Perhaps they were afraid I might give their wives ideas, I dont know.

Coffee I think it's all in your head. 'Smug married people'
It wouldn't cross my mind to see one parent out with their children as single parents. I honestly hardly notice other people, let alone jumping to such ridiculous conclusions.

no it is really not 'all in my head' auntymag.
Have you had the experience of being a single parent?
No I thought not.
No need to dismiss my experience as 'all in my head' is there?

My DH takes our kids camping with his best friend for a week every summer.
I wonder what people might think of them, 2 blokes with a bunch of ankle biters, with no wonan in sight!

*woman

don't know what a wonan is

My children are lovely, creative, polite and happy from about a week into the holidays. They get back to school and the fighting, answering back and snippiness begins! I'm not sure if it's school per se or their school!

I only ever take my children to cafes on my own, DH is always at work. Can't say I've ever noticed dirty looks from 'smug marrieds'

as I said, grotbag, holiday resorts not Starbucks or wherever.
But if it suits you, yes it is all in my head.

coffee

I don't claim to know how you feel, but every time I attended an antenatal hospital appointment on my own and wore no wedding rings as my fingers had swollen and I could wear them I did wonder if people thought I was a single mum.
No idea why

but interestingly when I saw any other pg mums by themselves I never made that assumption, in fact I thought "yep, same as me, the dad must be at work or doing schoolrun or whatever"

yes yes I know Zing., thanks .
I did start this as an objection to the post of 18.23 - someone must have thought it was amusing. I thought it was offensive. but then after fifteen years of shite inc my own family looking down their nose at us, I just might be a tad oversensitive!

They got as far as the front gate before being rugby tackled to the floor, hitting head on said gate, splitting head open and deciding "fuck it, you can stay in and watch home, we aren't going out"

ah you were in a naice area no sod that some brats (and their mothers are worst) are posh.

coffee

I think that's what it is. being sensitive. I think some of it is "just in your head" but as you say if people close to you looked down on you for being a single mum I can't blame you for thinking others do it too

here's my advice:
"if someone looks at you with anger, don't assume they are angry with you, but ask what bothers them. It is likely they have know idea they look angry!"

I honestly don't think people looking or even staring at you at a holiday resort assuming anything negative straightaway, pehaps they are admiring your necklace or dress (I do that a lot!) or you are simply in their line if sight!

I hope the next time you go you can enjoy your holiday more. kill the syupid voices in your head ok?
(hug)

thanks Zing xx

don't know what a wonan is

I believe it is, 'wonan the barbarian' (ie the female version)

I kept mine in a cage. With the alien he has decided is his friend. Sorry he wasn't out to make everyone feel better about their perfectly behaved robots kids

Sarcasm aside I've actually had people tell me my boy's behaviour makes them feel better about their own kids. People are shit. :(

bettyberry

I have no idea why anyone thinks kids shouting and screaming and throwing food around in a cafe is normal and being quiet and well behaved is not.
Well behaved does not equal robots. It means some time and effort has been put in to teach acceptable behaviour in different situations.

hazey

yes! it very well could be!
now there's a MN name to be snapped up
WonanTheBarbarian
love it