to have wanted/expected some help...(sorry, long and maybe a bit whingy)

[24hourM0MMY]

6.5 months pregnant, badly sprained ankle (can barely hobble around), 4 year old to look after, husband out of town for work. My parents are visiting from out of town, but staying with my sister (who lives literally a 3 min drive from me). Not one person suggested that I might need a hand and maybe our mother could come to help me out. Yes, I could've asked, but I felt stupid even asking because to me it was quite obvious, the ankle thing happened at my sister's house and everyone could see the pain I was/am in and that I clearly couldn't walk. I even drove myself home because "it was a good thing it wasn't my right ankle, so I could use the pedals in the car".

I feel like I don't even qualify for 'a friend' category. Surely someone with an ankle injury, pregnant, no help at home, and a small child to look after qualifies for some help.

I won't go into the long details from over the years, but this is not the first time I've felt let down by my family. My mother will say with my sister to help her out with her 2 kids if her husband is out of town, because oh, you know, it's terrible times when you have to get to kids off to school by yourself and look after a dog at the same time. I couldn't even get someone to watch my son for the 1 hour of my 12 week ultrasound and had to take him with me, ending up having to tell him about the baby before we were ready to (minor point, I know, but it's one of many).

We moved countries to be closer to my family because we were alone where we were before and had a really hard time with the first pregnancy/birth etc being on the other side of the earth with zero help. I used to get all kinds of comments about how if we were closer we'd have had all the help we needed. I feel like they were all polite lies and we were stupid to even think it would be here. We've been back in my home country 3 years now and have had to move 4 times, and not one tiny bit of help offered each of those times. Might as well have stayed where we were.

Or maybe it's just pregnancy hormones and I need to pull my socks up?

Yanbu, it is absolutely shitty to be in your position. My DM turned up at my house with 6 yr old dn one day, she had him regularly while his parents worked. She asked me if I would mind having him for a couple of hours as she was going away the next day and wanted to pack. Bearing in mind she didn't work and could have done this any time, knowing full well she would have dn that day. Stupidly I agreed as I felt I didn't have a good enough reason to refuse. Dp had returned to work that day, so I was on my own with my 3 kids, 4yrs, 1yr and 5 days old.
I've never spoken to her about that day, but I've also never forgiven her for it either, 25 years later, and I think it was a big contributing factor to massive pnd after dc3
As lovesandsmiles said, I have since learned to be self reliant, much easier for my state of mind.

Wow pinkshagpile your mum was seriously taking the pee.

OP it's mean that your mum won't help and I'd love to hear the excuses given when they all told you they couldn't have your DS for your scan. They'd have to be pretty good to be reasonable!!

I'm wondering why the relationships seem weaker with you than between your sisters though - have you always been the outsider? Is there different parenting styles at play? Is there a difference in wealth causing jealousy? Is your DS a pain (sorry), if their dc are older did you help with their dc regularly? You said you moved away, did they view this as checking out? There must be a reason.

My mum (81) needs an urgent X-ray on Thursday. DH just rang his parents up to ask if they'd have two of our younger kids (not the 18 month old or self sufficient teens) for a couple of hours whilst I take her.
His mum was silent and said they wouldn't be able to as they had to 'look at their clothes for holidays' an wouldn't be able to see them/us for a while as they'd be too busy sorting packing out for their hols.
They go away in two weeks with a suitcase each. They are both retired.
They live 2 miles away.
Honestly, we'll be much better grandparents than they are.
My mum, bless her, would do anything for us and the kids (we don't take advantage of her though!) and loves seeing them. She remembers what it's like having young children and I'm so grateful for her kindness, compassion and love. And her delicious homemade cakes and bread she foists upon us a few times a week!