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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to give old toys as birthday presents?

16 replies

jingscrivvens · 10/08/2015 13:29

Was having a conversation last night with DP about how we'll need to get rid of some of DS's old toys before Christmas, and DP pipes up with "remember to keep some to give to NDN DS for his birthdays for the next couple of years".

Am I the only one that thinks giving my NDN my DS old toys as a birthday present is just not on? If I wanted to give him my old DS toys I would just give them to him and not wrap them up for their birthday! We can easily afford £5-10 once a year for a present for them, money is not the issue

OP posts:
SheHasAWildHeart · 10/08/2015 13:33

Give them to NDN by all means but not as a birthday present. I've always managed to find DD friends lovely birthday presents for under a fiver, even when money is tight I've picked up lovely stuff from Home Bargains for £3! Give them to a charity/food bank where they'll be appreciated rather than as a birthday present which will leave NDN feeling insulted.

steff13 · 10/08/2015 13:36

I'd pass them along to him, but not as a birthday gift.

frazmum · 10/08/2015 15:18

Not as a birthday gift.

tomatodizzymum · 10/08/2015 15:22

I always gave old toys to my subsequent children when they were under 2 and before they could actually ask for/want anything. After the age of 3 I wouldn't.

CarrieLouise25 · 10/08/2015 15:35

No way ever ever would I give second hand items wrapped up. It's insulting.

Give away always, but don't wrap up x

CerealEater · 10/08/2015 16:45

Giving away is fine but does your DP seriously expect you to gift wrap them as presents!

I'd not do second hand to anyone as a present, even younger siblings. Wouldn't cross my mind too.

tomatodizzymum · 10/08/2015 18:25

This may be a very stupid question but what does NDN mean? Are you talking about your own younger child or someone elses?

Minesril · 10/08/2015 18:31

My BIL does this - ds just turned one and he gave us old toys of his wife's relative. They honestly thought we didn't realise! Idiots.

Minesril · 10/08/2015 18:32

Oh - I didn't mind too much because the toys are pretty cool and quite pricy new. Didn't much like being lied to though.

Marmiteandjamislush · 10/08/2015 18:36

If they are clean and in working order/complete, why ever not. I assume you would buy your DC toys like this from charity shops? I never understand this thinking to be honest, but than we have very few things that are not hand me down, second hand or made by us, as we are not keen on mass produced things.

Melawen · 10/08/2015 18:43

I'm quite tempted to give my nephew a little wooden trike for Christmas - it was my daughters and is in very good condition. But I'd probably check with DB and SIL first.

MaximiseProductivity · 10/08/2015 18:46

My DSis' children always got something DCs passed on for birthdays and Christmas when they were small. I talked to Dsis about it first and she and I loved it because:

  • Generally, her Dc got a better present than they would have if I was buying new
  • She would have ended up will most of the stuff one way or another anyway and her DC, like most, really didn't need any more stuff
  • My DCs enjoyed choosing something their cousins would enjoy
  • It avoided waste (more of the toys than the money) and saved things from landfill.
  • Seemed daft to buy new when between us we already had more than enough toys

Not sure I'd do it for a neighbour unless we were close enough to have that conversation first though - although it seems a bit odd to me to be buying presents for neighbour's Dc too.....

purplemurple1 · 10/08/2015 18:46

If its cleaned and in good condition with all the parts id rather get a £20 gift second hand than a £5 gift new.

Theycallmemellowjello · 10/08/2015 18:55

tomoto, NDN = next door neighbour

Original poster
jingscrivvens · 10/08/2015 20:21

DS has received some great second hand presents from his aunties and uncles, but they always checked first.

My neighbours are lovely but are very much all about things being certain brands and move in circles with people with lots of disposable income. Usually I get either of the kids something with a name from TK Maxx so it falls in right price range. The idea of me turning up with a used toy as a birthday present makes my arse creep really.

TBH it's probably DP just being a bit stingy, he has form e.g. Complaining I've bought DS new shoes cos his feet had grown half a size 'what difference does half a size make?', and he's an incredible hoarder so won't chuck away an empty box, never mind give anything to the charity shop.

I think the toy box will become a bit lighter and the local charity shops will become a bit more full on my next day off...

OP posts:
tomatodizzymum · 10/08/2015 20:45

OH thank you Theycallmemellowjello, in that case, you can't give second hand toys as gifts....Confused I agree.

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