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AIBU?

Neighbours noise - who's unreasonable?

44 replies

Delilahfandango · 10/08/2015 08:34

My ndn is obviously working an early shift at the moment, she has gone out at 6.30 the last two mornings. Her front door is a few feet away from our (open) bedroom window. Yesterday we were awoken by her banging on her door or window and shouting through to her partner. This morning she woke me shouting at the dog or baby to get back in. I slightly lost it and shouted at her from my window - asking if she could not shout that early - yes I do see the irony of that! I don't think I was rude to her, inappropriate timing?, probably! But she stood and shouted a lot of abuse, including about our music on at 10pm - this has maybe happened twice in the 9 months she's lived here. Which, is about the same amount of times she has had music playing in the evening - which I have no problem with. She had her music thumping out at 7.30am the other week. Her OH manages to leave the house without waking up the neighbourhood! They have a puppy of about 10 weeks that they leave to cry. Rambling now, but trying not to drip feed! Wondering if I ought to apologise for shouting out the winos when she gets home?

OP posts:

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ShortandSweeter · 10/08/2015 09:43

No contribution from me apart from LOL at the whole '6.30 isn't early' thing, clearly from proud martyrs.

Andthenutlookedgood · 10/08/2015 09:47

If your neighbour leaves for work at 6:30am she will probably be getting up by 5:30am so for her hearing your loud music at 10pm will be annoying. As pp said at the very least you need to warn her in advance next time, but preferably keep your music volume down.

As for your neighbour shouting in the street at 6:30am is not on.

A friendly chat asking her to be quieter in the morning and reassuring her that you will avoid disturbing her in the evening should help.

FuzzyWizard · 10/08/2015 09:52

6:30 isn't too early to expect people to be going about their business though. It's about the time I get up on a work day but during the holidays I wouldn't be pissed of at my neighbours making reasonable noise at that time. Often NDN calls his cats in for feeding etc. Our bin men come at about that time which means a lot of dragging of wheelie bins, banging of lids, the beep beep beep of the truck. I think a bit of noise as people leave for work is fine. It's not like it was going to go on for long. I can always go back to sleep.

asmallandnoisymonkey · 10/08/2015 09:54

I'm sat here laughing my head off at 6.30 not being early. You're living on another planet if you think 6.30 isn't early.

FuzzyWizard · 10/08/2015 10:00

I'm not saying it isn't early but for a lot of people it's the start of their day. Luckily I don't have to leave the house until about 7:15-30 but at 6:30 a lot of my neighbours are leaving for work, bin men are about, people go out and call their cats in etc. It's early-ish especially if you aren't at work but not a particularly unusual time to leave for work if you have any distance to commute.

Delilahfandango · 10/08/2015 10:02

She's not done this shift before and we haven't had any music, loud or otherwise during this period of time, so they're not connected in any way. I am actually quite hot on keeping the volume down, but obviously not hot enough and that goes for any time of the day. I would add that I'm generally in bed at 10pm. I get the feeling that pp think we have the volume at 11 every night!

OP posts:

purplemunkey · 10/08/2015 10:03

6:30 is early to be making enough noise to disturb neighbours.

Used to drive me nuts when DP and I were child free and there'd be various noise from neighbours in our block of flats from 7am, it was impossible to have a lie in.

I get that some people, especially those with young DC (which we now have), are awake a lot earlier but it doesn't mean everyone is and you should have some bloody awareness of your neighbours.

Just because my day starts at 7am now, even at weekends, doesn't mean I'll start blasting music or mowing the lawn waking everyone else up.

purplemunkey · 10/08/2015 10:07

Also, I agree that it's not that early on a weekday as people will start to leave for work from around then but I'd rather be woken by my alarm clock 30mins later than by neighbours being noisy. Construction work isn't allowed until about 8am I think? I think that's probably a fair guide as to when people expect normal noise levels in the morning.

Binkybix · 10/08/2015 10:10

6:30am isn't early. I would't do my garden at that time but I hoovered by living room and kitchen at 6:30am today

That would really piss me off if in a flat/attached to another house. It's not early for you - it is for other people. Not hard to understand.

OP - the shouting whilst leaving the house at 6:30 would really fuck me off too. You went about it in the wrong way, but I do understand. Music until 10pm two times in June months would be on the cusp of annoying for me. On balance, I'm on your side!

MissJoMarch · 10/08/2015 10:34

Not a proud martyr, but we live in a city where large proportion of people are employed in manufacturing which involves shift work or early starts. Before 6.30am at least 40% of neighbours have begun journeys to work.

We don't all live in naice areas you know

purplemunkey · 10/08/2015 10:45

So... the other 60% haven't, but who cares about them?

HazelBite · 10/08/2015 10:47

6.30 is not early for many people who commute into Central London, I leave at 6.15 each weekday morning, my train two stops up the line from where I get on is full!
I think it is unreasonable to make noise at 6.30 on a Sunday morning, but I think loud music at 10pm, when you've got an early start is equally unreasonable.

I think an apology is in order and suggest you have a discussion about living peacefully alongside one another, do not enter into the blame game!

mileend2bermondsey · 10/08/2015 10:52

That would really piss me off if in a flat/attached to another house. It's not early for you - it is for other people
So what about people who work nights or other unsociable hours? Fuck them right?
All this 'acceptable' hours for noise talk is directly related to those working 9-5 everyone else just has to deal with it.

Owllady · 10/08/2015 10:58

I'd apologise when you have both calmed down. When you live in houses attached to other houses you do expect some noise and I don't think music occassionally late at night is that out of the ordinary tbh but if she works shifts it might just be bad timing. The puppy will calm down and hopefully she'll take on board about the shouting

DisappointedOne · 10/08/2015 11:01

6:30am is practically the middle of the night.

splodgeness · 10/08/2015 13:59

6.30 IS early! If it isn't early I'd like to hear what people consider to be early then! Just because you get up then doesn't mean it isn't early, it just means you get up early surely!

Neighbours can tolerate a bit of music now and again, as long as it isn't every night. Every day noise of doors banging and dogs barking is much more intrusive.

I would have shouted out too, I'd just ignore it all now and wait to see if it has actually made any difference once she has thought about it.

Tuskerfull · 10/08/2015 14:04

Well I don't think your music at 10pm every six months or so is unreasonable at all, and I am extremely touchy about neighbours' music, having had some shocking neighbours in the past.

I do think you were unreasonable to shout out of the window instead of going down to talk politely with her, or leaving it until a better time, but I think you agree that was U.

Binkybix · 10/08/2015 14:18

So what about people who work nights or other unsociable hours? Fuck them right?
All this 'acceptable' hours for noise talk is directly related to those working 9-5 everyone else just has to deal with it

Yes, that's what I said. Fuck them.

I used to work shifts. And sometimes nights. It often meant there were times in the day when I could do that kind of stuff. And worse case and I had a run when I couldn't hoover, I just wouldn't hoover for a bit.

Toooldtobearsed · 10/08/2015 14:29

What is all the shit about being a martyr if up and around at 6:30???? I am an early bird and a martyr - I love early mornings and don't call anyone sleeping in till God knows when lazy cows

OP - you neighbour probably did not realise just how much sound carries at that time in the morning. To her, she was closing the door and telling the dog to get back in. Just like you did not realise that the music you were playing at a reasonable volume bothered her.

Just catch her sometime later and apologise, have a chat and sort it out - no need for falling out over it

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