AIBU - Clash of Clans rant

[Howlingwithlaughter]

My DS, an only child, and his so called best friend have been friends since they were babies. They've been right the way through primary school together, walked to and from school together and spent hours at one another's houses. A while ago they discovered Clash of Clans, best friend set up a clan, DS joined and they have been playing amicably together along with a group of their school friends. Enter a friend of a friend, a slightly older boy. Things start to change. Best friend 'kicks' DS from clan for no apparent reason and then goes off on a residential trip for a week leaving DS out in the cold. He returns and things seem to get back to normal. They continue to walk to and from school together and spent time at one another's houses. Then best friend decides to start 'clan hopping' and passes leadership to older boy. Things get too petty for me to go through but the latest development is that DS has again been kicked from clan having received a message in shouty capitals with asterisks replacing what I can only guess are unpleasant words from so called best friend. DS seems to be unable to rejoin the clan so has lost touch with the other boys and his 'best friend' hasn't contacted him in any way. They will be going to different secondary schools from September but will be travelling together on the same bus. I am extremely hurt and upset on my DS's behalf. I know he can be a bit silly at times but I don't think he deserves to be ostracised in this way. At 11 I know he's too big for DH and I to wade in and sort it out but we're just so cross about it all.

We banned our son from playing CoC after similar issues. It seemed to be a perfect conduit for cyber-bullying and he was getting teased for the fact he was less advanced than others because he didn't spend the same amount of time playing as they did.

He's much happier without it!

DH & I monitor what DS is up to online and are quick to pull him up if we see anything which doesn't seem nice. He wasn't happy with that at first but now understands that we're just keeping him safe. His 'best friend's' advice when DS told him that we were keeping an eye was 'take your iPad up to your room so she doesn't know' I've explained to DS that it's so easy for things to be misunderstood when you're typing something rather than face to face. Have also drummed into him that you should never put anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face. It would appear that not all his friends parents do this. I'm sure his 'best friends' parents would be horrified at some of their DS's comments.

We will continue to monitor the situation and see what happens. Thankfully our holiday beckons and there is no WiFi

The sooner he grows out of this trend the better my nerves & sanity will be!

Yes, the connectivity options are what makes this game a 13.

Perhaps you could ban it until your DS reaches the PEGI-recommended age?

Rating when you download it says 9+ . DH & I didn't spot 13 rating anywhere, thanks AuntieStella

Commonsense Media page for CofC

The age restriction can vary between countries. I've always found this site very useful as a source of information when assessing games (especially notorious ones like this one).

Thanks for the link, will have a read. We thought he'd be ok as he was in a clan just with his friends. Turns out his 'best friend' isn't as much as a friend as we thought. A hard lesson for DS

If you know the parents if I were you I'd be speaking to them about their son's behaviour.

I think DH will have to Cassie as I'm likely to explode. I have kept a screen shot of the shouty message but, sadly, didn't keep one of the one in clan chat saying this lad was going to beat my son up!! . If you could see the size difference between DS and this lad! DS towers above him!

well I have learnt something today, I didn't realise clash of clans had an age restriction, tbh I find all of this internet chatting stuff stressful, my ds has xbox live and can chat to his friends which is lovely when all is going well but not great when things go sour and arguments spill over into what should be as safe space !

anything with groups that "play" together IMO, ends up like this, some take it much more seriously than others and you are (as a member of the group) expected to do certain things (supply gold, levels, support for attacks etc.), Unfortunately as the "clan" evolves you either evolve with it or leave (get kicked out).

Its not nice to be shouted at, it certainly never acceptable to be threatened), you should also be able to report this to the games moderators and if they are any good they will take action. (WoW, x-box etc. will remove you from the game and freeze the account).

But I am unsure as to why you are upset with the "best friend" as he doesn't appear (from what I can tell) to be involved with the "clan" any more.

I am upset with the so called best friend as he's the one who rejoined the clan, kicked DS out & sent the unpleasant shouty message (not just the standard 'sorry, we have decided...) DS & I have been having a chat about it all today. He has started his own clan and has said at least he will see the other boys at scouts, tennis & youth club. None of which ex best friend attends.

Apologies Howling I hadn't understood that it was the same person.

I am pleased to hear that he has started his own clan. Hopefully all will go well.

No worries Boney
It appears that his old clan has disbanded and his friends have joined another one (without inviting him but hey ho). He's happily playing in a clan which is just him and the boy who stood up for him. I asked him this morning whether he was ok over it all and he replied 'yes, at least it's quiet now'! It's seems my DS could teach me a lesson or two!!