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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pick my Sis up from her friends?

28 replies

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 09/08/2015 11:23

Dsis has a friend who lives about 30 mins away on the bus. She went to stay over the weekend with her DS and DP.

Just got a message from her asking if I will pick her up as she doesn't like getting the bus back alone. (Her DP is going straight to Liverpool from friends house).

She has offered me a fiver which won't even cover my petrol as its a full hour in the car. And my car is a big engine.

I've told her I will pick her up but it will about a tenner in petrol. She says she doesn't have a tenner but she really doesn't like getting the bus. Confused

She's a fully grown adult, btw. I'm the only one in my family who drives at the min and hate this sort of thing because I'm made to feel like a taxi.

She knows Sunday is my 'day off' as DS is with his Dad and I like to do the shopping then relax for the rest of the day.

AIBU in saying no, given that she has got a mode of transport she just doesn't like it!

OP posts:
TenForward82 · 09/08/2015 11:25

It's the middle of the day, she's unlikely to get hassled / abducted / murdered. You're not a taxi service!

Henriettacat · 09/08/2015 11:26

Just say "no". You clearly don't want to collect her.

MagicHouse · 09/08/2015 11:29

I think it's ok to say no. But I would be clear about why so you're asked less in the future. Don't blame the petrol money, even though that's part of it. Just say you're busy and that you always make plans for your Sundays. Tell her she'll be fine on the bus.

Soundofsettling · 09/08/2015 11:31

It's absolutely fine to say no, she got herself out there, she is a grown woman - she can sort a way back again!

Icimoi · 09/08/2015 11:32

Absolutely say no. Why should you take two hours out of your day off and spend a lot of money just because she doesn't like buses and didn't plan ahead to have enough money for a cab?

AlpacaMyBags · 09/08/2015 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HappyGoLuckyGirl · 09/08/2015 11:37

I just feel a bit mean/guilty.

Obviously, I would go straight there if it was an emergency or the middle of the night or something. But just because she doesn't like the bus doesn't seem a good enough reason.

Perhaps I feel bad as she is doing me a favour next week by having DS overnight so I can attend a work function.

But the two aren't related are they? Or should I suck it up, a favour for a favour? Hate second guessing myself!

OP posts:
crje · 09/08/2015 11:40

Think it's fine to say no

She is being selfish asking you

Penfold007 · 09/08/2015 11:41

Actually I think you are going to have to pick her up as you want her to provide free overnight childcare.

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 09/08/2015 11:42

Are you paying her for overnight babysitting? Because that would cost a lot more than a tenner...

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 09/08/2015 11:48

Ah, you see I was totally on your side, until you mentioned the free babysitting. Unless the petrol cost really puts you out, I think you owe her one, don't you? I wouldn't make a habit of being a taxi though, I'd be very clear that it's because she's doing you a favour, any other time she'd have to get the bus.

firebladeklover · 09/08/2015 11:50

I was going to say tell her no but if she's minding your child overnight next week, then maybe say yes.

WickedWax · 09/08/2015 11:51

"I don't like getting the bus".

"Well I don't like driving on a Sunday/for an hour/to places I don't know/insert reason here".

End of conversation Grin.

Welshmaenad · 09/08/2015 11:52

If she's having your child overnight for free, you're being beyond petty. Just go and get her.

WickedWax · 09/08/2015 11:52

Oh dear, just spotted the free overnight babysitting.

Better get going then OP.

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 11:53

It's give and take. Do you do lots of favours for each other normally? Is it a two way thing? If not, don't collect her

Original poster
HappyGoLuckyGirl · 09/08/2015 11:54

No, I'm not paying her. But we look after each others DS' on occasion and don't give each other money for it.

I'm giving the boys some treats for the night and giving Dsis and her boyfriend some money for a takeout. But we don't pay each other. I didn't know that was a thing. Blush

OP posts:
bridgetsmummy · 09/08/2015 11:56

It's not a thing. But she's doing you a favour so you do one for her. It would be really mean of you not to do it.

Original poster
HappyGoLuckyGirl · 09/08/2015 11:56

Oh and a friend is picking them up. I felt bad so said I would go but she has already sorted another lift.

Problem solved! Grin

OP posts:
Justbatteringon · 09/08/2015 11:56

Go pick up your sister. Its hard not having a car and getting the bus with I'm assuming a young child. Especially since she's doing you a much more time and energy consuming favour.

Collaborate · 09/08/2015 11:57

Given the quid pro quo for the babysitting is reciprocal babysitting YANBU.

Pumpkinpositive · 09/08/2015 12:03

How did your sister get to her friend's in the first place?

Did she get the bus there or did someone drop her?

I hate the bus myself. I'm a taxi train girl all the way. But I'd never ask someone to go out of their way to drive me home rather than sit on a bus for 30 minutes.

Is your sister a bit of pwincess generally? Grin

pictish · 09/08/2015 12:05

Say no - she can get the bus! It's not usual for adults to think they are entitled to lifts just because they don't fancy the bus. If she can't drive, then public transport is where it's at for her.
Do not get into the habit of ferrying her around for no good reason.

pictish · 09/08/2015 12:09

Sorry - I see it has resolved itself. Yay.

But seriously...no. Don't become a cheap taxi for her. That she wanted to visit a friend an hour away is her own responsibility.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/08/2015 12:13

I would have picked her up. Nothing wrong with doing each other a favour now and again and she's having your DS overnight next week.