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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Long haul flight, just me, toddler and baby. Am I being insane?

62 replies

CeilingThomas · 09/08/2015 09:22

I have family in New Zealand and we're planning a family Christmas out there this year. My parents and other sister and her family have booked their flights, and we're looking into options that would work for us.

I'm likely to have to fly out with my 3.9yr old DS and 8month old DD alone because my husband doesn't have much holiday left so will fly out at a later date and fly back with me and the kids. The reason I'm thinking of going earlier is because it'll be much cheaper. Something we need to think about as I'm on mat leave and not bringing in much money at all.

Anyone have experience travelling alone with two kids of similar age? Is this a really bad idea?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
SillyStuffBiting · 09/08/2015 15:55

I think that you will be fine! We just flew 16 hours with ds 3.3 and he was a star! I wouldn't bother with a trunki (lots of bashed ankles, briefly useful during transfers but big airports have strollers you can use tosdash between gates) or lots of toys. Lots to watch on the flights, he slept a lot.

We went etihad this time and the flights were great but terminal 3 of abu Dhabi airport was hellish (that's the one for all etihad transfers). Pre book kids meals, and they will rustle something together for him if he hates the meal.

Personally I would have a stop but only a couple of hours. I think any longer and I wouldn't get back on the plane!

burrito · 09/08/2015 15:56

I've done it and will do it again.

It will be hard, but it's do able.
Ignore everyone saying your mad (they will be the people with family around the corner).
Choose your airline carefully- for the flight and the stop over. Singapore airport is a dream for changing babies, sorting things out etc.
Lots of spare clothes (you as well), snacks and have family waiting at the other end!

Good luck x

burrito · 09/08/2015 15:59

And whatever your flight "low point" is- it will make a good story weeks later.

(Mine was changing a pooey baby nappy in the toilet change table, with toddler pooing below when the turbulence light came on. Staff were very helpful! )

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2015 16:07

I hated stopovers more than anything. At least there's some level of control on a flight.

I've never done it with two but have done it with DD, now almost 5 loads of times. 9 hour flights and more. The worst was a delay of eight hours which taught me to pack for all hours of day and night. And more snacks than you think.

Pack lighter than you think for the flight in case you have to walk anywhere.

Gt006 · 09/08/2015 16:09

Ok not exactly the same, but have had a similar trip.

I went alone to Thailand with Ds who is 4 and probably has ADHD. He actually managed to evade Thai security as he kicked up such a fuss when they tried to make him go through the security scanner!!! It was really super stressful as we had connection flights too and he only has little legs. It was worth it once we got there though! V. Stressful but I would do it again because holidays are such precious experiences.

Monstersinthegarden · 09/08/2015 16:12

I've flown alone with just one toddlers and the flight attendants were great. Falling over themselves to help me (when DH was there too, they just left us to it). Definitely over stock on nappies, DS had a bad tummy and pooed 7 times on an 8 hour flight! I was down to my last one!
Only thing I would be worried about is the toilet, no room for you to bring both in with you. Who is watching toddler when you change baby and vice versa?

Artandco · 09/08/2015 16:12

Yes we have done it several times when ds2 was 8 months, ds1 was 2 years exactly. You just need a child under 2 on lap for take off and landing which was our problem as for 8 months we had 2 under 2, so could fly alone with both. But as soon as eldest was 2 either Dh or I have done many long haul flights alone with them

Artandco · 09/08/2015 16:16

Best tip is to fly via Singapore with a long layover of 18hrs ish. Then you have enough time to all check in a hotel and sleep, eat decent food, take a swim in hotel pool, eldest stretch legs, before heading back for second part of flight. A connection of less than 6 hrs isn't really worth the hassle leaving and returning through security so you just all hang around airport

SolasEile · 09/08/2015 16:40

Just posting as I am contemplating a similar trip myself, solo with my two DC who are currently 3.9 years old and 9 months old (still BF). My biggest issue is the jet lag screwing up eveyione's sleep because my 9 month old is already a horrible sleeper as it is. I went long haul once before with just my DS who was 20 months and he managed to stay awake for 9 out of the entire 10 hours on the way back!! iPad saved our lives on that trip...

Another dilemma is how I would get my older DS to the bathroom if the baby was sleeping? Can't wake her up but can't leave her unattended either so unless a kindly member of the cabin staff took pity on me I'd be stuffed. It would nearly be easier traveling with a 2 year old and baby from that point of view because they're both in nappies.

mrswishywashy · 09/08/2015 16:52

I'd do it and have done it with different ages.

Try to get a night flight out of UK, get to airport with plenty of time to spare and then pjs at gate for both children. On plane a snack and drink and then hopefully they both sleep for good part of flight. I wouldn't worry about weaning foods just take a bit of finger food eg rice cakes, bread sticks. Then baby can snack and bf as needed. Either fly straight through I like Singapore best or a stop over of six to 10 hours. Then it's time to use airport hotel, stretch legs and shower and change.

I do two carry on suitcases so you've got a clean set for each leg of flight. Then have each part in baggies eg nappy wipes change of clothes so it's simple to take to loo.

Most people traveling will be helpful and the hostess will be too and if all goes tits up you'll likely never see them again.

Wish I could afford a trip home this year with my newborn.

TidyDancer · 09/08/2015 17:01

Could DH fly your older DC out with him? If you have UK childcare while he works that could be a compromise and you would then both only have to fly with one child each.

Artandco · 09/08/2015 17:16

Oh and I have always found. Fellow passengers or air hostesses helpful to watch one child whilst I took other to toilet. Usually just tell air hostess I was going to change baby for example or neighbour sitting near us, and leave eldest colouring/ eating/ TV/ sleeping. It's not like they can escape!

Want2bSupermum · 09/08/2015 17:25

I have done it a few times now. My DD turned 4 in July and DS is 2.5. Flying this summer was hard and the kids screamed for most of the flight from NYC to Copenhagen. I told myself it was x hours until we touched down. Once at the airport I got myself a monster Starbucks.

I'd do it. Just have someone meet you when you land as you will be exhausted.

Want2bSupermum · 09/08/2015 17:27

Oh and don't expect cabin crew to help you. I had zero help offered/ given on our return leg until DH came back from business class. The stewardess helped DH so I left them to it and went and slept in DHs business seat.

PrimalLass · 09/08/2015 17:33

I took DS to the Middle East when he was 6m. He had a seat thing rather than a bassinet and I just strapped him in it and went to the loo (right there as was sat at bulkhead).

It was far harder on the way home as I was leaving my family rather than looking forward to seeing them.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/08/2015 17:38

I would do it - at 3.9 your eldest will be super excited about flying and 8 month old won't do much except eat, play with some toys and dribble. There are always helpful people about to take the youngest off your hands too whilst you use the bathroom and entertain the older one.
We're flying transatlantic with our two (nearly 4 and 18 months) and I'm more concerned about the younger. He's walking but essentially non-verbal and is always getting himself into mischief! Older is obsessed with planes and will behave if he knows the captain is making the rules.
I would allow yourself plenty of hours during the stop overs to get to the mother and baby rooms to nurse, change, get food etc and most major airports have a kiddie play area you can entertain them in whilst you have food/coffee/find some Xanax!
Make it like a big adventure for the older one and just be super organized.
Jet lag may not be your friend but hopefully they'll be so shattered from the travel that they sleep ok.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/08/2015 17:40

And aim for night flights where you can and during the day try to get as much sunlight / by windows if you can to maintain circadian rhythms.
Good luck!

SillyStuffBiting · 09/08/2015 18:32

Your dh left you with 2 kids whilst he chilled out in businesses class?

Melissande · 09/08/2015 19:00

Youcan always ask a member of crew to help mind one child if you need to take the other child to the toilet, just press the callbell and ask, they dont mind, trust me. Also bring ALL the food you might need, airlines DO NOt supply milk formula and nappies, they have a tiny supply thats used for emergencies only, and there is nothing really to rustle up a kids meal with unless you have ordered one. So plan well, order kids meals and bring loads of snacks and extra kids food and you will be fine. And ask for help!!!

Original poster
CeilingThomas · 09/08/2015 19:09

NotIn - thanks soooooo much for your advice. Have saved it to my iPad for viewing nearer the time. I've flown Singapore a few times (pre children) and they were great. I'll go for the shortest flight time I think, although good to know you can get a room for a couple of hours if needed. That might be a life saver if we have a long change over. Looking at flights now...

xx

OP posts:
Original poster
CeilingThomas · 09/08/2015 19:16

Just realised there was a whole host of other replies, all super useful. Honestly, thank you all so much, I feel confident that I can do this!! Although I will check out getting the same flight as my parents.

Tidy dancer - I did consider that. Will depend on whether DH is away he splits time between two cities and neither his nor my family live nearby unfortunately.

xx

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 09/08/2015 19:24

silly yes. We asked to either buy additional seats or swap with the lady at the end of our row. We couldn't swap because lady had 2 kids on the other side of the aisle. Couldn't buy additional seats because SAS won't allow young children in business. It worked out well for me!

judypoovey26 · 09/08/2015 21:52

OH God no, I wouldn't! I've done this trip on my own a few times with only one child, when they were 18months and when they were 4. Never again, it was so stressful especially at the toddler age. I did it in business both times (thinking it would be more comfortable) AND threw a day's stopover in the last time and still I arrived at both ends feeling like I would never get over it. And I travel long haul a lot, so it wasn't the jet lag, just the stress of entertaining a toddler for all that time on my own!

Argh, good luck OP, but is there anyway you can rope in another family member or friend to do the outbound leg with you if your DP can't?

Janeymoo50 · 09/08/2015 22:16

It's only if you have 2 infants (both 0-2 years) that I think airlines get funny about.

LiegeAndLief · 09/08/2015 23:04

I've managed to get me and two kids into an easyjet toilet before now (both were clingy and didn't want to leave my side) - think I ended up with one on my knee but it is just about doable!