to ask why having kids is expensive?

[HodgePodge23]

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

It is rare, and I do fine that strange. Dh has so many jobs for thise hours to fill, but noone wants them. He has had no one applicant since February.

Ego I work 9 -5 that is what I am saying. Dh works round that and we do alk xhildcare ourselves. Life isn't always ideal, but it is still a choice.

Full time salary is a pretty wide ranging term, though. For a part time week, I earn roughly NMW x 35, ie a full time week for some people. I'm still losing money by not working full time. If four is earning a full time salary, whatever that is, by working a part time week, most likely she is still losing money doing it.

With that said, people who can work from home around the kids without childcare are another group I didn't list in my exceptions upthread. So are full time opposite shifts couples.

hodgepodge I can remember when I used to think the same as you. I am wiser now!

I just did a very rough calculation of what I think we have spent on our kids (so far) and it is at least £500k! This is how I arrived at that figure:

1.real-terms loss of my earnings (I was a SAHM for 9 years, then only worked part time till the youngest went to uni).

1. The costs of the DC's accommodation and living expenses when they were at university.

1. Driving lessons, their first cars and their first 4 years' insurance.

1. Deposits for their first house purchases.

1. Their weddings.

1. Birthdays, Christmas, new baby, new home etc gifts.

1. Multiple "helping out" gifts for various other occasions.

1. 23 years of housing, food and clothing, laundry etc.

There is also the loss of 18 years of pension contributions, which I left out of the calculation (too complicated!) but which has resulted in my pension pot being on target to provide me with an income of about about £2,000 per year. It could have been 5 times that amount, if I had remained in full time employment the whole time.

muffmuff- not really. If I hadn't had kids I doubt I would be doing what I do now. I would have stayed in my old career and probably earning only £24K or so.
Invention is the mother of necessity. I have no family childcare and I wanted to stay at home with my kids, but we did need the money. I just had to work out a way of that happening.

We do that ego through choices we have made. I attend a lot of out of hours appointments dh has to arrange around these. There are some close calls but we have made it so far.

We have worked for 8 years both full time with no family help so far. I work 40 hours,dh works 40 hours. Some weeks mine goes up to 45.

No don't think so ego. I am going in to a professional career and I will do anything I need to. Dh is lucky if he needs to he can cram 40 into 3 days if needs be. I will do as many hours as needed.

I was working 60 hours the year before last. I am a bit career mad though as I am working in my dream roles. Dh just does whatever and prefers the social side of work.

OP- You sound a little naive.
Perhaps you're on a brilliant Materntiy package at the moment, and with an 8 month old child your earnings have barely dropped. Or perhaps you were in an extremely low paid/ part time job before having a baby so haven't noticed much dent in your earnings..

I'd have thought most people would know that the biggest cost of children is childcare... Up to £1000 per child per month depending on where you live. Or, if you decide to stop working, then you lose your income.

I agree that aside from that, an 8 month old can cost very little, especially if you breast feed and are sensible enough to buy second hand/ borrow equipment,clothes etc

The only way it could really make no difference to your income is if you somehow manage to retain your previous income by working around your partners hours and not paying childcare (nigh on impossible for many people.) Or if you use someone to provide your childcare and don't pay them anything (not possible or acceptable to many people.)
Apart from the two scenarios above, I fail to see how having children doesn't cost!

I also do work in the evenings from home. I do it with baby and dc1 up. Dc2 goes to bed at 7. It doesn't involve phone calls only writing assessments and reports.

I am not really bothered about money. When I finish this qualification I double my income but I do it as it is my dream really. I brought my first 2 up and took them to work with me for 6 years. I had fun then and was able to keep working, but now I skip out the house away from the craziness. I think that is a feeling that comes a few kids/years on for most!

And your setup sounds like it works for you four. I just think you're being rather disingenuous if you don't tell us whether you work full time or not. If you don't, it's likely that you could earn more income if you did. Obviously in your case, that has to be balanced against the career change prompted by the kids earning you more, but that still doesn't mean you aren't losing income if you choose not to work full time.

80sMum

your list made my eyes water!

Sorry, I haven't read the thread.

I have three sons, who all went to uni. I have just worked out that giving fairly minimal support to them all (we paid their rent and any expensive extras) has cost us in excess of £38,000. No wonder we are broke and our house looks like shit.

80s mum- your list is spot on.
I have to say, you're not alone about 'forgetting' the impact of pension contributions. i know many intelligent professional women who have totally underestimated the effect that giving up work or spending decades in part time work has had on their future pension.
I did p/ t work for about 4 years when the kids were small and the childcare bill highest, but tbh my main reason for stepping back up to f/t As soon as possible was the pension. Pensions take a massive knock from any time out of the workplace or in p/t only

grandmaster11

It is rare, and I do fine that strange. Dh has so many jobs for thise hours to fill, but noone wants them. He has had no one applicant since February.

Has he tried changing the times to
Fit school hours? Most of these jobs want a 5 Pm start when hubby on their way home. 10-2 would get some interested as would 6-10 - easy 8 hour day no child care. Think outside the box.

He can't it has to be evenings, nights,weekends.

But lots of people won't be in a position to buy a lot of the things 80smum mentions - or would not choose to spend that sort of money on their children - ie: car/driving lessons/first four year's insurance/deposit for a house/weddings - her children are very fortunate if they have had all those things paid for by their parents. None of them are essential - it has been a choice whether or not to pay for the items listed.

My parents certainly didn't pay for anything like that - and I had a very happy, secure childhood, my parents were comfortably off but encouraged me to save up if I wanted anything.

haha at "they are going to private school so it won't be that expensive"

State primaries often bleed you dry.

Letter on Monday wanting £50 for Wednesday was my child's school favourite.

Or the you have to buy enough for your child to run their OWN stall for school funds every year at Christmas fayre

A billion stupid costumes at short notice, trips out , cake sales, sponsored sport events etc etc
then logo uniform . Ours can be 200 plus.

I have two teenagers, one of whom is bigger than me. I don't think it takes that much imagination to work out the cost :o my 8 yo doesn't cost much though

Yh to ragwort. I understand that there are many on low income who cannot find work or are single parents, but for many educated couples there are options, although not always ideal. Many items on this thread are things that are far from essential.

The op could raise her child/ren cheaply as a lot of purchases are just excessive consumerism.