To ask those of you with three children

[notwhistlersmother]

How do you find it???

Asking for my friend- she has 2 children (DS4 and DD2) and feels like she isnt "done" having children yet- but shes worried about one of her children becoming an "outsider"- threes a crowd, third wheel, having two of the same sex and one another sex.

Just looking for other peoples experiences really.

pinktruffle can I ask what the gap is between your DS1 and the next DC?

I have DD who is 14yo and DS who is 12 months. I'm due DS2 in the new year.

I wonder what the implications will be for DD.

Oh sorry - I've just seen your last post.

7 years almost exactly - DS's birthday is February 2007 then I had DD1 April 2014.

I'm sure she'll be fine - I think it's the fact I had two in quick succession with a big gap between 1 and 2.

Yes I think my gap is so big that DD and DS are almost two different generations iyswim.

I do worry that having two littlies will make her feel more isolated though, in a sort of "me and them" way.

We'll see I guess.

Hard.

I had three under five and the first years were easier than now I think. Any combination of two is easy. One child really doesn't like the other which is annoying and frustrating. The food bill and washing mountain are ridiculous.

I wasn't done with two either and while it is hard, I wish often that the youngest still had their twin sibling with them.

I know what you mean! I just keep trying to find special things DS can do but it is hard in a way I didn't notice when I only had the two as one could have the baby and the other DS. Now it's harder to manage two tinies and DS does miss out a bit guilty mother

It's OK, the biggest issue is the age difference - 5 years between DC1 and DC2 and then 1 year between DC2 and DC3. 5 years is too much.

I find it hard, but my eldest is 4 and generally well behaved and helpful so not as hard as I thought it might be. I have twins so went from 1 to 3 overnight. Once they're sleeping right through things should be easier, but I struggle now getting housework done as quick as I used to

Three is a lot more than two IMHO. Practicalities such as car space and holiday accommodation are annoying but sort of luxurious.

Logistics are hard with three - it helps if the ones close in age have similar interests but there's a lot of waiting around for someone else to finish after-school recorders or Saturday football or a doctor's appointment blah blah blah.

Three here. It's the perfect number :)
I'd recommend having them close in age if you're going for 3. Ours all played together happily and we went through each phase rather than having any large gaps which can be a bit restrictive on activities and also could make one feel a bit left out.

Bloody hard. Though it may just be me. Eldest two either love each other to bits or fight like cat and dog. Both love the youngest though and are adorable with her. Food bills and washing are crazy - so much more than with two. House is rarely tidy. Life is cystic chaotic. Wine bill has gone up!

We have b, g, g and they are nearly 8, 5 and 2. I do wish they wouldn't squabble but I'm glad I have three. Two didn't feel enough. Three feels like a family.

Am hoping it will get easier as they get older

I have 3. Boy age 8, Girl age 6 and Boy age 3. No issues really, they all play together. Generally calmer if you take a child out of the equation butit doesn't matter which one, ds1 and ds2 will play together happily, as will ds2 and dd. Ddand ds1 less so .

The dynamic will always change when you add another child but that doesn't mean it is a negative thing.

I have 3 too (dd9, ds7 and dd3) I love my youngest to bits and wouldn't be without her, but boy it is hard work and I often wonder what just the two would have been like had I felt complete with just them. Due to space the girls share and I worry about this as they get older, but due to our local demographic she won't be the only one at school sharing, it will be fairly usual.

I agree with others though - big car, holidays are more of a struggle to plan, life is set up for 2+2 in general.

I wonder sometimes if it is 3 that makes it hard work or just my 3 (ds has autism)

I am totally done though, I don't think we could cope with a 4th.

3 here too. DS (10YO) DD1 (7YO) and DD2 (3YO).

All mine get on brilliantly. They all play together when they want to. The only time one is alone is usually their choice.

I knew when I was pregnant the second time that I wanted 3.

For me the only slight drawback is that because there are 2 siblings older than my youngest rather than just one she has learned to shout louder so to speak to be heard. She can be a little bugger when she wants to be, but of course that could be her personality.

I think if someone wants 3, and they can afford them, have the space, enough time, they should go for it without over thinking how the siblings will interact. I know so many combinations of families and the dynamic is down to varying factors. Age gap, sex, parenting style, specific personalities. You just can't know these things in advance. In my family they play well together but the oldest is separating herself from the younger ones as she's getting older and wants more space. Of the families of 3 I know well, in one family the two older ones favour each other but the youngest is still young enough not to mind and all their relationships will likelychange. In another family, with a ds and dd as oldest, they both dote on their youngest sister. In a family of 3 same sex siblings, the middle one has a stronger personality and the oldest and youngest gang up on him together. All so different.