About sister and public speaking

[MadamMist]

Sister wants me to help her get over her fear of speaking in front of groups as she'll have to do it in a fairly low level sort of way in her new job.

AIBU to ask if anyone can give me some ideas about how to help her - she doesn't want to go to classes or whatever - I'm up for this but don't know how to help.

Practice, practice, practice. Can you bear to sit through her presentations a zillion times and try to look intesterested and ask intelligent questions?

Toastmasters? I asked a similar q a while ago and was advised this, I never managed to go before I had to do my big talk despite them looking amazing managed to lock myself out of my house instead

Anyway, I did my big talk and have been asked to do it twice more since, each time has been 50% easier so I reckon by this time next year, the talk will write itself yeah right

Practice is where it's at. She should tape film herself?

I've had training, we are taught to rehearse, word for word 7 times to be confident about what we we saying.

I also find that I tepnd to gabble when nervous, so remind myself to speak a little slower than feels natural.

In my experience practice is the only thing that makes it easier. And being confident in the topic you are speaking about.

I went on a fab course to improve my public speaking. They filmed us at the beginning of the day and discussed all the areas for improvement. The most helpful tip was to speak slowly and louder than you think. This helps you avoid the ums and ahs. Your posture is just as important as your voice. Practice a short speech over and over then film again.

I always treat it like a conversation I'm having with a group of friends, make sure my clothing is comfortable so i dont start pulling at collar etc and make sure i know my topic extremley well.

I agree that the more you do it the better.

I love talking to big groups as part of work (routinely 10-500 people), and I always start with a big smile. It relaxes me, and makes people feel positive (apparently). Then keep looking through the whole audience, even if you have to follow a set pattern at first.

Someone once told me that the thing to remember with public speaking is that just about everyone in the audience are deeply grateful that they aren't the one talking, and its rare that you get someone who wants to put you off or ask awkward questions. If someone does ask a really hard/difficult/sensitive question then there is nothing wrong with saying 'thats an excellent question, and in order to give it the time it deserves, I'll speak with you after'

Agree with practice - not just rehearing your speech, but giving public speaking a go at every opportunity - it really is the only way to gain confidence and improve

I have to do a fair bit of public speaking in my line of work. My tips for your sister are:

• not only rehearse but also visualise a presentation/speech going well. How does it feel? How does the audience respond?
• I like to hold something in my hand- usually a marker pen- for some reason, even if I'm not going to use it, it make me feel more grounded
• act 'as if'. Pretend to be super confident and accomplished at public speaking. Power-dress/wear something that helps with the switch from 'normal me is fookin terrified' to 'I'm wearing X and I am now woman, hear me roar' Your sister needs to begin by kidding herself into being a 'natural' until she actually becomes a natural.

A book I've found useful for tips on and the theories behind visualisation and acting 'as if' is 'How to get from where you are to where you want to be' by Jack Canfield. There's a certain element of 'woo' in his writing but I've long-used several of his ideas and they've worked for me.

I still get the nerves when doing it and I've been doing it for a few decades now.

What helps me is wearing sparkly shoes and a bright suit and just pretending its all good.

You usually on,y need to pretend for a few minutes during that time speak clearly do not wave your arms about and hold onto either a pen or anything else provided for the talk like a lectern. Then the nerves go and your doing it like its nothing

I did it as a major part of my job years ago. Practise, and then practise some more so you can say it in your sleep.

Deep breaths, often. Pause, often, make eye contact with audience while you do so.

Have the presentation part rehearsed down the syllable. Have ready made answers for questions both the ones that that can be answered and have at least 5 answers for ones you can't I.e I'd have to check the figures closely before getting back to you, well from the figures given today that looks promising but i cant give you a firm yes until I look into it further, I'd have to check that with xxxxx before confirming it etc