to think I am a very impatient mother?

[rhetorician]

I've two DDs 3 and 6; the elder one has issues with attention, memory and following instructions (so getting dressed requires about a million prompts, helping her to return to the task etc etc, for example). DD3 is, well, 3, but strong-willed with it. I just find that a full day of the two of them drives me to the edge - constant demands, bickering, not doing as they are told. DD3 just had a total hissy fit because she wanted to have a type of toothpaste that we can no longer buy, and to use her sister's toothbrush. It gives me the rage. Or is it like this for everyone? Other parents seem so calm and orderly

It's not just you. Honestly. Even the saintliest of mums can be given the rage by the hissyfits of a 3 year old and plus you've got a demanding 6 year old too. Give yourself a break, have a nice long bath and a glass of wine, tomorrow is another day.

You are not alone. These is how most people feel particularly at the end of the day

oh good! I mean, not that it's good that it's like this for everyone, but relieved that my children's experience is approximately normal!

It got better for a while and now it's teenage hissyfits. So much longer, louder and more dramatic. The up side is that I now walk, usually out the front door with the dog. He never answers back.

DH always tells me that I expect too much of our 4 year old dd and that I am impatient and should give her 'take up time'. I, however, know that he continuing to lay on the floor whilst staring at me and smirking, even though I have asked her 3 times to come over to me so that I can brush her hair, is an act of pure defiance! You are not alone, OP! Count to 10. Drink wine.

Sounds exactly the same as my house. DD is 4 and is sooooo unfocused! I feel sorry for her teacher come September.

Then there is the constant bickering between her and DS (7) which to be fair, comes from him. She is really easy going, he is very much 'I'm the oldest, I'm the boss' type and it drives me mad.

And they both want me to have another one!

I totally feel like this! 3 year old DS and 5 year old DD's constant questions, demands , bickering and tantrums drive me crazy. You are defiantly not alone x

Ynbu mine drove me nuts yesterday. The fights,the screaming,constant demands. You are not alone

If you want to become calmer you can work on that, but I think most people would find it hard to deal with what you describe without getting a bit irritable so don't feel bad.

If you want to get calmer, it's a combination of finding ways to get more breaks and enough rest, make sure you are healthy and learning techniques about keeping calm/anger management.

You have just described my life.

have they are very hard work sometimes; I could probably use some anger management techniques. I am rarely angry in any other aspect of my life, but there's something about the intransigence of a small child that just drives me to the edge. I also know that it's not their fault - I wish I could live up to the imaginary version of the patient mother that's in my head.

I have six year old twins and a three year old so you're definitely not alone!

Bedtime drives me round the bed. I'm pretty laid back, but the fannying about just makes me wild with fury. They will not go to bed for me.

So, YANBU