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AIBU?

WIBU to have confronted this man?

70 replies

Wannabe2015 · 07/08/2015 19:59

Ok. 7pm. I'm playing with DCs in the sitting room. Out of the window I see a man in running gear stop on the driveway of the house opposite.

He begins 'writing' with his finger on the back of the car on the driveway Every few seconds he stops, looks around, checks to see if anyone is looking.

He finishes writing, turns and sees me looking at him. He stares at me for what seems like ages. I stare back. He then walks down the road.

I come out of my house to see what he has written. He has written 'RIP' and 'on it's last leg'.

I then see him down the road, looking at me. We stare at each other again.

At that moment my DH comes home from work. I tell him about the man and the car. The man is still standing on the road staring so we both go to talk to him.

Man says he is a priest and he knows the old lady who lives in the house very well. He says the writing on the car is a joke.

He won't say where he works or which church he belongs to. He then apologises to us and goes back to the car to wipe off the writing. He also says he's going to apologise to the old lady whose house it is.

Was I being unreasonable and a busy body questioning this guys behaviour?

The lady in the house is v elderly, 90+ and he looked so odd and shifty. Something about the whole thing seemed odd.

So tell me. WIBU?

OP posts:

Report

DiamondsInTheFlesh · 07/08/2015 22:35

Blimey this thread does nothing but add to the weird things I know about priests
The staring [shudder]
Very brave of you to go apologise. Did he apologise for staring?

Icimoi · 07/08/2015 22:38

I'd have assumed that RIP was a comment on the state of the car.

achieve6 · 07/08/2015 22:42

Well I live alone too, I don't think that marks anyone out as a weirdo. But the whole incident seems very odd. Good that it has turned okay but he needs to learn how to behave.

I find it so odd that he wouldn't give you proper info.

Haffdonga · 07/08/2015 22:46

I don't know which would be more frightening - a dodgy bloke potentially marking the house of a vulnerable elderly person or a dodgy vicar writing RIP on a vulnerable parishioner's car. I'd be terrified to find RIP scrawled on my car.

I think you need to report him to his bishop. His behaviour sounds inappropriate.

FisherQueen · 07/08/2015 22:55

I was going to say he was a demon until he apologised which a demon wouldn't do
So he's just odd

I know the thread has moved on with a nice resolution but EgyptianSnow WTF?

FisherQueen · 07/08/2015 22:56

Bold fail on the first paragraph.

Vatersay · 07/08/2015 23:04

Glad it turned out well OP. I hope the Vicar in question has learned a lesson from this situation.

You were being a good neighbour, he should have thanked you for looking out for a potentially vulnerable parishioner.

Myname15 · 07/08/2015 23:07

I find that really fucking creepy.
If she's elderly and he's tried to covertly put that on the car, that sets off all alarm bells for me. Speak to the lady who lives there, but try to find the words that don't scare her too much. If you wanted to be really nice, you could tell her she can ring you if she's frightened by something...?
Inform the police also. This is not trivial, it's got a horrible ominous feel to it.
Most likely though he's simply odd and disturbed
My gut feeling is that they will know each other. Maybe he's the weird nephew or something. I think it's threatening, and pretty deranged.
You are absolutely not unreasonable for confronting him. He hopefully will be scared off now. I think you were being excellent neighbours.
So, nice one. Stay vigilant but like I say, he's probably just a very strange man who's been dealt with already

Myname15 · 07/08/2015 23:14

Jeez, just read your post on page 2, somehow missed all that.
Wtf? What a fucking bizarre thing to do? And if you got a bad gut feeling, I'd listen to that. I don't think you should have apologised. I think he was behaving so strangely I would hope any of my neighbours would do the same as you did if I was her.
He wants watching, that one. What a strange fruit

aliasjoey · 07/08/2015 23:23

The whole 'burglars marking the house' is an urban myth. Why would a burglar alert a rival to a potential haul? Try checking snopes.com next time you read something implausible.

OP glad at least you managed to follow it up.

Melonfool · 07/08/2015 23:25

Did you challenge him because of the misplaced apostrophe?

Wannabe2015 · 07/08/2015 23:35

I'd like to retract what I said about him living alone. That is irrelevant and to use it as a marker of so called weirdness is clearly prejudiced. Apologies.

OP posts:

achieve6 · 07/08/2015 23:37

Apology accepted, Wannabe.

Wannabe2015 · 07/08/2015 23:42

I did tell the lady in the house that she only need ask if she needs help of any kind. She thanked me for my concern but was very eager to point out that this guy is harmless.

I'm not so devoid of a sense of humour that I can't understand a bit of gentle piss taking or an in joke between neighbours. It was his shifty behaviour, furtively looking around and his staring that made me nervous. When he saw me looking he wasn't embarrassed. He didn't try to explain it was an innocent joke. He looked...a bit wild. Unhinged. He met my gaze and seemed to enjoy it. Ir was most uncomfortable.

OP posts:

Melonfool · 07/08/2015 23:43

To be fair, I would also have approached him, or sent dp!

Wannabe2015 · 07/08/2015 23:44

Thanks achieve6 :-)

OP posts:

Wannabe2015 · 07/08/2015 23:46

The symbol marking thing has never occured to me before. I must lead a very sheltered life.

OP posts:

suzanneyeswecan · 07/08/2015 23:53

your man was surely practising some sort of witchcraft Wannabe?

The code set out in the waily fail sounds like an urban myth, but just in case I'll scatter a few of the 'nothing worth stealing' symbols about the exterior of my abode

Garlick · 08/08/2015 00:11

What a weird vicar

You very definitely did the right things, Wanna!

Those code marks do exist - when I was a kid, people said they were made by gypsies (

Haffdonga · 09/08/2015 17:15

I was at a talk on vulnerable people in the community only a couple of weeks ago and the police mentioned the mark system. Apparently still very much in use. The criminals also note and mark houses with ramps or rails, disability aid literature on the doormat and overgrown gardens.

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