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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU that this is not a 'rip off' holiday at all and SIL should stop sniping?

63 replies

BlueAcres · 07/08/2015 10:29

DH, dd and I are going on holiday to the Lake District in a couple of weeks, staying in a s/c cottage for a week but also having a couple of nights in a Travelodge in a city on the way up, to break up the journey and give us time to do some shopping/sights/zoo. We've budgeted £1k for the entire holiday - including the cottage for a week, return train fares, food shopping, the Travelodge, zoo tickets, tickets to a theatre show we all want to see and a couple of meals out. We'll probably go slightly over with extra spends but not too far, and I think for an August holiday for 3 (dd is a teen) that's entirely reasonable.

Since DH mentioned in it passing to his family however SIL hasn't stopped sniping about how holidaying in the UK is a 'rip off', how we've been 'had', 'poor you having to pay so much' etc, but always does it as a passing comment rather than laying into us, but its getting on my nerves. Especially as the comparison keeps being made by her and MIL to how SIL and BIL had a 2 week holiday to Italy a couple of years ago for £1k, including accommodation, flights and car hire. All very well but that was for the 2 of them only, in September as they don't have kids so can go in term time, and doesn't include any eating out/visiting anywhere which I know they racked up loads on their credit card for, but they fail to acknowledge that as 'that's just the odd spend'.

AIBU that we've got quite a reasonable holiday for the money and, especially as this is our first holiday in about 3 years, they should at least just leave us to it and stop the comments?

OP posts:

SnowBells · 07/08/2015 11:18

To be honest... it all depends on what you want.

I can get what she's talking about. It's a lot cheaper to holiday on the continent these days than in the UK (with the Euro having its problems). Or in other countries that are further away - a few years ago, we went to Florida for just a week courtesy of Virgin Atlantic sales. It was GBP360pp for flight and car, plus GBP250 for a hotel which included breakfast. So in total, for three, that would be GBP1,330 + things like food - which in the US is really cheap anyway. I got relatively cheap tickets for the parks, too (there are deals to be had when you buy these whilst not being on US soil, as it's an incentive for people to fly over). So given that this includes a big jump across the pond, GBP1,330 sounds a bargain compared to GBP1,000 in the Lake District.

However, your holiday sounds lovely, and if that's what you want, so be it. And there's something to be said about staying in the UK. This year, one of the holidays I booked is in Cornwall, simply because we can drive there (total cost would be similar to yours), and don't have to deal with flights. I know I could have gone to Italy or France for longer for the same amount, but I just wanted something easy for once.

avocadotoast · 07/08/2015 11:19

Aw, your holiday sounds lovely! Tell her to do one.

We're having our first proper holiday in years this year too we're having to go back end of school hols even though DD is still a baby just because it's the only time DH could get off work. We've struck lucky and got a cottage in Norfolk for £400 for a week. But even then we've to factor in petrol, spending money, odd trips when we're there, meals... So I reckon we'll be adding another couple of hundred. I'm looking forward to it!

thenumberseven · 07/08/2015 11:21

Your holiday sounds lovely and I think you have budgeted brilliantly. Great value.
Your SiL sounds like a spoilt brat. Not attractive in a teenager, positively revolting on a grown up.
I would never again share details with her about anything as she sounds like one of those people who make everything about themselves.
Enjoy your holiday and when you get back give glowing reports of what a great time you had preferably to PiL rather than to her.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 07/08/2015 11:21

Keswick is lovely, we had a great day out there a few years ago. The shops were lovely, and the boating lake. Kids had a blast with an artist showing them how to paint.

FeelingSmurfy · 07/08/2015 11:21

I would just say "oh, I didn't realise you were paying for it..." Whenever she started on about how much you were spending, if its not her money (and you don't owe her money) then its nothing to do with her

LittleLionMansMummy · 07/08/2015 11:23

Another one who wonders how the subject of money came into it. Personally I'd never volunteer this information - problem solved. The subject of money is often divisive particularly among family. Buy all that aside, it's none of her damn business. Your money, you decide how you spend it. Sounds lovely (I live the Lakes!) - enjoy!

ApocalypseThen · 07/08/2015 11:24

Why do you care what she thinks? It's just an opinion, I can't imagine how it affects you either way. Really, it hardly even merits a dismissive shrug.

FelixFelix · 07/08/2015 11:24

Tell her to F off. I think 1k is reasonable for everything you've listed. We are off to the lakes at the end of August for a week and it's almost £800 for the accommodation alone (just a SC apartment, nothing fancy). People don't realise that not everyone wants to go abroad!

Binit · 07/08/2015 11:25

Sounds like a nice holiday. I'd just ignore her stupid comments.

AugustHasToBeBetter · 07/08/2015 11:29

SnowBells yes to some of your points of course the UK is expensive. Few countries feel worse!

But like the SiL you are favouring your own scenario. For example you haven't actually put a figure on food - it's cheap but not free!

The journey to the airport, parking perhaps, actual price of park tickets. The OP seems to be erring on the side of caution with a true budget iyswim.

And of course then there's the immigration queue into US and loss of time to jet lag!

Nosy question was the sale for school holiday weeks as I will look out for that!

ApocalypseThen · 07/08/2015 11:30

Tell her to F off.

If you want to be irrationally aggressive. I can never understand why so many people on this site are so quick to blurt out all their personal details to everyone around them and them get outraged when they hear an opinion they don't like. If you don't want to hear what people think if your business, don't tell them your business. No point in attacking them for whatever remark they make that you don't happen to like if you chose to tell them in the first place.

Peshwari · 07/08/2015 11:35

I think it's expensive, but it's nothing to do with SIL at all so YANBU to be bothered that she's going on about it.

SnowBells · 07/08/2015 12:00

AugustHasToBeBetter

Yes - of course, it was more expensive than the OP's holiday. If you include other expenditures, in total, with food, it was about GBP1,500. But the way most people think about it is: why should something local not cost a LOT less than something thousands of miles away. Not too long ago, going local was the cheaper option, and going abroad used to be a luxury. This still sticks in people's minds. It's not true anymore though because flights have gone down, and the Pound went up - meaning you can afford more elsewhere.

The holiday in Florida was during the Easter break. It was on sale about six months before though, and I jumped on it. I'm a bit of lucky with getting bargain holidays. Once, they must have made a mistake on a site - we paid the cost of what would normally be per person in an exclusive resort for all of us because it was listed as per "hotel room". It was a beautiful resort on a tiny island with all food and activities included... . We always wonder whether we could afford to go there again.

AugustHasToBeBetter · 07/08/2015 12:07

The UK price madness gets no better as I read it's cheaper to live in Spain and commute to London during the week!

OTheHugeManatee · 07/08/2015 12:11

They are being twats. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

CrystalMcPistol · 07/08/2015 12:12

Bring SIL with you to the Lake District and chuck her in Lake Windermere.

CrystalMcPistol · 07/08/2015 12:15

I can never understand why so many people on this site are so quick to blurt out all their personal details to everyone around them and them get outraged when they hear an opinion they don't like. If you don't want to hear what people think if your business, don't tell them your business.

So mentioning holiday plans with relatives is 'blurting personal details'?

What do you do, skulk off in the dead of night leaving everyone wondering where you are for a fortnight?

code · 07/08/2015 12:25

Your holiday sounds lovely- and cheap! Don't rise to her, ask her to help you find a better bargain in the school hols for next year and watch her struggle. I'm always sceptical about the bargain hunters, normally they go outside of school holidays and we can ALL find a bargain then! Or otherwise their tastes are quite cheap and the quality acceptable to them isn't to me. SIL is one of these, against our better judgement we went away with them one year. The only reason it was cheap was because they rented accommodation from a friend at mates rates. Unfortunately it was in the back of beyond. Everything else the famous 'bargain hunter' made odd decisions about- hiring crappy small cars with no air con from a friend's company- for the same cost we hired a luxury car a month later; booking BA at extortionate prices when we could've flown Easyjet. And yet we were to bow to her thriftiness. She would have a fit at my paying 4k for 2 weeks in the UK at an upmarket resort when she could go and sweat through the Florida rainy season in a hotel miles from the resort. We just have different ideas...

WorktoLive · 07/08/2015 12:28

I'd just ignore her. She is comparing apples and oranges. I always take the 'we have a fortnight in the med for £100 pp' type claims with a biiig pinch of salt.

I would be very surprised if £1k covered all the cost of her holiday unless they stayed in quite basic accomodation and lived on beans on toast while they were there. I've never been to Italy, but I have repeatedly read that it is quite an expensive place to holiday in.

Our standard holiday is Spain - either mainland or one of the islands for a week in September (just DP and I), and when you add up everything, which is a generally mid range standard for B+B accomodation and eating out once or twice a day (but quite cheaply and with some quick/cheap lunches like just an ice cream or a sandwich/bit of fruit), it comes to well over a grand and I can't see how we could save that much - it would cost at least £50 to park at the airport FFS.

If we had to go down to £1k to cover everything there would be serious compromise on enjoyment and impossible for 2 weeks so what's the point. If you started pricing up a week abroad for a family in August, £2k would be a bargain with budget standard food and/or accomodation and £3k would be more like what it really costs.

Your holiday sounds lovely and I hope that the weather is kind to you and you have a great time.

Branleuse · 07/08/2015 12:32

sounds lovely, and the sort of money id expect for an august holiday tbh. It is more expensive in summer, everyone knows that. Your SIL is being pretty rude though

GooodMythicalMorning · 07/08/2015 12:34

Ignore her. Your holiday sounds brilliant. Some people always find a way to make things negative. I try to ignore these people.

ApocalypseThen · 07/08/2015 12:35

What do you do, skulk off in the dead of night leaving everyone wondering where you are for a fortnight?

This is intentional missing the point, I hope. I'm happy to tell people stuff like where I'm going on holiday or what it cost because I am not so irrationally touchy that I get annoyed if they make a remark about something I've chosen to tell them.

LittleCandle · 07/08/2015 12:39

We've stayed in a wee cottage north of Keswick several times in the last few years and just adore it! We're almost part of the village family, we've been so often. It sounds a brilliant holiday and tell your SIL to fuck off and mind her own.

SnowBells · 07/08/2015 12:52

code

Not everyone who goes for "bargains" does it the way your SIL does. We are used to very nice, plush places, so - for example - DH just reminded me his favorite hotel of our years of travel together was the Ritz Carlton in Hong Kong. I forgot we even stayed there!

RubyRedfortSecretAgent · 07/08/2015 12:54

tell your SIL to fuck off and mind her own

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