Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ALBU to sell gifts kids have outgrown?

39 replies

Cuppaand2biscuits · 06/08/2015 14:55

I've just listed a load of toys on a local Facebook selling site. It's all stuff the kids have outgrown and don't use. The money raised will go to holiday treats, cinema, soft play etc. My 4 year old has quite happily helped me choose what can go as she understands we need money for treats.
Some of the toys were birthday or Christmas gifts from my cousin who has sent me a very arsey message saying she'd have had them back if she knew I was selling them . She doesn't have any dc and gifts were all given more than a year ago, probably 2 years ago.
AIBU?

Should I just give them to her (so she can sell them? Or put them in a cupboard?)

OP posts:
Debinaround · 07/08/2015 00:10

No way would I give her the toys back so she could give them to her neighbour. She gave them to your kids at least a year ago ffs. It's up to them what they do with them not your cousin.

If they want to sell them and use the money to go to the pictures then they are entitled to do that. Why should they miss out just so your cousin can look the the big I am to some random neighbour?

I think it's a lovely idea. It's a good lesson too. Not everyone's household pot can stretch to going to the pictures and day trips. These things are expensive treats to a lot of people so saying that the money shouldn't be included in the household budget is out of order. (Not saying that is the case with you op)

LeafyLafae · 07/08/2015 08:09

A gift is a gift. She didn't loan them to your DC, she gave it. If DC is happy to part with them, then so be it.
Has it been a family heirloom of some sort then yes, she would have a right to be peed off. But it's not.
I wish SIL had given DN chance to play with half the stuff I bought her before she flogged it all on eBay to buy age inappropriate stuff, including the limited edition beanie baby from the U.S.

WanderingTrolley1 · 07/08/2015 08:11

Yanbu.

StealthPolarBear · 07/08/2015 08:46

In that case she needs to be specific, they're not gifts, they're on loan. And you may not choose to accept them under those terms. She has a huge nerve.

LindyHemming · 07/08/2015 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouMaySayImADreamer · 07/08/2015 09:02

This is tough. I dont think YWBU to sell them, but I think you should have been a bit less obvious. I would feel a bit grabby selling presents people had bought the DC as I would feel like I was profiting from their generosity, even if it was for treats for them. In fact I would only sell things I had bought myself for this reason.

I think this applies moreso for someone who hasn't got DC of their own as I am always quite conscious that people without DC generously buy buy buy for DC and don't usually get anything back.

LovelyFriend · 08/08/2015 15:17

Your cousin really doesn't understand the concept of "gift" does she?

Really what she is doing is loaning her possessions to you.

LovelyFriend · 08/08/2015 15:19

YouMaysay so you would keep gifts given to your DC by friends/relatives Forever? Really?

What do you think that is teaching your children?

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2015 16:10

No I think you may say is suggesting giving them to friends or charity shops

MrsHathaway · 08/08/2015 17:38

I don't think that the cousin thinks OP should keep them forever. I think the objection is to the selling. Lots of people feel weird about selling something you were given (whereas selling something you bought is absolutely fine).

I'll admit to falling in the "give but don't sell" camp as a general rule. Obviously if the roof is leaking and the cupboard is bare then you do what you have to, but that's not OP's situation if I've read it right.

It was tactless to sell on FB probably. Next time eBay if you want money and charity shop if you don't.

Hygge · 08/08/2015 18:01

I don't think you've done anything wrong OP.

She's given gifts which have been outgrown. You can't keep them forever, with a little sticker on them reminding you that she gave them to you and you need to give them back.

That's not a gift, it's a loan and an obligation.

If it's not something of great value, and I'm including sentimental value in that, then selling something the children have outgrown benefits them twice. They have the pleasure of playing with the toy, then the reward of a treat with the money they've raised from selling it when they are done.

Gottagetmoving · 08/08/2015 18:10

It's none of your cousin's business what you do with the stuff.
If you want to sell them or throw them away or give them away, it's up to you.
I wouldn't accept any more gifts from someone with her attitude.

Penfold007 · 08/08/2015 20:22

OP why don't you suggest to your cousin that rather than give gifts you recycle she takes her nieces/nephews to the cinema or theatre as a Christmas or birthday treat?

YouMaySayImADreamer · 08/08/2015 22:23

Yes, thanks stealth I was thinking charity shop or pass them on to someone - lots of great lessons there for my DC lovelyfriend ...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread