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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for potty training advice

35 replies

steppedonlego · 05/08/2015 18:09

My (nearly) two year old started potty training about a month ago. We just let her go bare bummed at home and now she is consistently going in the potty. We are however still using nappies in public.

My problem is how to take the next step. Though everything is going into the potty, she's using it every ten minutes or so for very small amounts. Is there anyway I can teach her to hold on for a while as the idea of doing a supermarket run (or pretty much any outing) with breaks every ten minutes sounds like a nightmare, or should I keep what I'm doing for a while until she's a little older. She's still quite young (two at the end of September)

OP posts:

Stanky · 05/08/2015 18:42

Watching with interest. Ds is almost 4, but has developmental delays. He is more like a 2 year old. But any ideas would be welcome. :)

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2015 19:05

same with Stanky, ds 3.5 has dev delay and is more like a 2 year old, it is going sooooooooo slowly. Even dd 8 who has ASD dev delay was quicker than this.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2015 19:07

With dd, I just used to carry extra clothing with me, and take her to the public toilets at every opportunity. If we were in a park, no toilets, and she said she needed a wee, we would use a bush.

GloGirl · 05/08/2015 19:13

Another one with no advice whon needs it! My boy has decided to potty training himself and he is doing great at home . I'm scared about the next step and I think he is too because he's refusing to put pants on.

x2boys · 05/08/2015 19:20

stanky ds2 is five with development delays and asd i,m getting help with it from the paediatric learning disabillity team.i do now get free nappies though!

ThisFenceIsComfy · 05/08/2015 19:27

I have just potty trained my DS though he is three so a bit older. He can go about an hour or two in between wees so it's a lot more viable.

I just limit drinks in the run up to going out, make him do a big wee before leaving, plan carefully my trip around where toilets are, and explain to him where the next toilet is so that he knows how long he has to go between toilets.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 05/08/2015 19:28

I would go cold turkey on the nappies, at least during the day. Doing bits and pieces is confusing.

I would also recommend giving her largish drinks spaced out, so no frequent little sips of drinks. That should encourage bigger pees more infrequently.

Try it full tilt for a week, if she's not ready, go back to nappies and try again in a few months.

Accidents will happen, that's a fact of life, but taking her for a try really regularly, say half hourly, should minimise this.

DrinkGirlsFeck · 05/08/2015 19:29

Have you thought about terry lined training pants? I had some for dd and they caught enough urine to avoid awkward puddles in the supermarket. However she still felt 'wet' unlike nappies so it encouraged her to go on the potty. I also couldn't have survived without a potette porta potty which folds. I may have had to use it in the supermarket one day (don't judge me - it was that or a puddle on the floor/ trail of wee throughout the shop)

SaucyJack · 05/08/2015 19:30

I'd say to just go somewhere a few times with lots of toilets and a few clean pairs of pants.

She'll either get it or she won't. If she doesn't, stick to pull-ups. My older two were both "ready" when I trained them and as such it really wasn't a ballache to do.

paxtecum · 05/08/2015 19:31

Many years ago I used to put the potty in a carrier bag under the pushchair and take it out with us.

PicnicPie · 05/08/2015 19:39

I would take your DD to the loo before you leave home and then head out (without a nappy on). Don't do a big shop. Just have a wonder around somewhere where you know there are toilets incase you need to make a dash for it. You will actually be suprised at how long they can actually go without needing to go. Old towel in car seat/push chair incase of accidents and spare clothes. I found the best way was to go cold turkey on nappies and get my DD used to pants. Before you leave supermarket/shopping centre take DD to the toilets. Head home and resume potty as you've been doing.

I know it's horrible clearing up accidents but I actually found that having a few accidents made my DD get the gist of potty training. And nappies just delayed that.

If my DD (2.5) has been to the loo before i've left home and has not had a drink then she can easily go 2 hours without needing to go.

Take a chance. See how you get on.

Stanky · 06/08/2015 09:17

x2boys, that's great that you are getting support from the paediatric team. We're still waiting for physiotherapy to strengthen his core muscles, as they're weakness is having an effect on potty training. He is not picking up any signals with going to the toilet at all. He also can not undress/dress himself at the moment, so that doesn't help either. He has lots of other issues as well, but we are now in the biggest size for nappies, and I was wondering what we do when he gets too big for them. Are the free nappies in a larger size? Sorry to hijack the thread.

Stanky · 06/08/2015 09:18

Aeroflotgirl, I feel your pain.

x2boys · 06/08/2015 09:23

yes we get them from the NHS i think they are actually adult nappies for incontinence aids but i got the extra small in my LA the child has to be five before they qualify[ maybe different dependning on areas] so we have just started getting them we get three months supply at once based on your child will use three a day they are a lot thicker than normal nappies.

Stanky · 06/08/2015 11:07

Thanks x2boys. :) We may or may not be there by then, but it's good to know just in case. I had no idea.

ReginaFelangi · 06/08/2015 11:10

Ditch the nappies. You're sending mixed messages.

MrsBobDylan · 06/08/2015 12:03

For those training kids with dev delays/ASD, ds5 started school in nappies and they took him to do a wee every 30mins and if he did a wee in the toilet he got a marshmallow.

Fast forward to the end of reception year and he doesn't wear a nappy until he needs to poo around 3ish (thought it usually ends up in pants which we bin) and he asks to go for a wee!

His sn school have brilliant and gave me helpful guidance. With my NT eldest we just went without nappies and he was fully trained in a week.With my ASD son I tried that method but it didn't suit him at all.

I also think that the child has to be ready. All the pushing my son's nursery did to toilet train was deeply unhelpful and unesscessery IMO.

Op, give going out without nappies a go but if you feel DD isn't quite ready yet, maybe shelve it for the time being?She's done really well to be using the potty at home.

fleurdelacourt · 06/08/2015 12:09

think I'd just go without the nappies when going out tbh? Switching to nappies when out is sending her mixed messages? She might surprise you? (But if not, I'd also make sure I had a couple of changes of clothes with me!)

Original poster

steppedonlego · 06/08/2015 16:50

Thankyou ladies. I've got a lot to be going on.

OP posts:

80schild · 06/08/2015 16:59

When toilet training my kids I just made them use the loo and went cold turkey with no nappies as I never understood the concept of "potty training". To me it just seems to be a way of making extra work when your kid isn't quite ready. They were a bit older than average (3 yrs) but neither of them had accidents - so basically, do it cold turkey or not at all.

StarSpotter · 06/08/2015 17:04

I used to take the potty out too. Made me feel better about going cold turkey.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/08/2015 17:43

Thanks stanky, you too . He did a few wees on the potty by himself this week, and has been running outside and doing a wee, because I told him I do not want a wet carpet, so I think it's getting there. His understanding is pretty good, his speech and motor skills are delayed. He is 3.5 years but has the speech of a 2 year old.

Evianbaby15 · 06/08/2015 17:44

I saw a woman in supermarket a few days ago whip out a potty for her little one. I'm sure I've seen pottys specifically for this but can't remember where (sorry not helpful)

Mercedes519 · 06/08/2015 18:15

We had a thing called a potette which is a fold up potty which also acts as a toilet seat. It has plastic bags with a bit like a panty liner inside. We used it everywhere, it doesn't take up much room and you then throw away the used plastic bags.

I also kept on asking when there was the opportunity to go. I still do and they are 5 and 9!!!

mathanxiety · 06/08/2015 18:38

80schild, Regina and others, cold turkey was my approach too.

I followed a book called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day (or possibly 'less than a week' -- anyway, the advice there was that you go cold turkey. Going back and forth confuses small children apparently. So no nappies at all, for naps or nights or outings.

We spent the first two weeks pretty much indoors and at home while they got the hang of keeping their big girl and big boy underpants dry. This involved checking the dryness at intervals and doing practice runs to the loo after any accidents. The routine also involved them cleaning up accidents with copious paper towels and windolene (all wood floors).

When the time came to venture out (we ran out of food and paper towels ), I made each child use the loo beforehand and made sure it was at least an hour since they had had anything to drink. I only took short trips -- 45 minutes max, including time spent getting into the car and out again. This went on for a month or so. However, for at least a year I insisted on trying the loo before we went anywhere.

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