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To help my daughter out with her rent?

25 replies

cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 16:09

DD and her boyfriend live south of London. She works in London so her transport is expensive. Her bf works ft locally in a NMW job.

Currently they live in his student house but they have to be out by beginning of September.

That eu are trying to find a flat at a rent if no more than £800 per month but they cannot get anything. Because they both work full time by the time they contact the agents about new ones on the market they are gone or the viewing lists are full. I am talking a few hours not days here.

I know if they go up to a rent of £850 to £900 per month they will get something. The £750-£800 range is the most sought after.

Would I be unreasonable to offer to top up their rent money by £50-£100 per month? This would not leave me short and would help them a lot. But on the other hand I know they both really want to try and manage on their own.

They are age 22 and 21 and both have good degrees. They are just finding it hard starting out in an expensive area. DD really needs to give her job 12/18 months before she looks for another to gain experience so they can't really relocate right now although I think they might in the future.

What do people think?

OP posts:

magimedi · 05/08/2015 16:12

If you can afford it I think it would be a lovely thing to do.


TheRealAmyLee · 05/08/2015 16:12

If you can make the offer. She can choose to say no. I think its a fantastic offer.


FelixFelix · 05/08/2015 16:15

Yes do it! It will make such a difference to them. My PIL's did the same for us (topped up £250 pm) so we could move after we had dd and I am so grateful. DP managed to get a payrise a few months after so it was only temporary but it helped so much.


cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 16:19

Sounds like this might be a good thing to offer then. I will see what they say.

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 05/08/2015 16:22

If you can afford it then do it I'm sure they'll appreciate. The only thing I would caveat is that giving them the money does not then allow you to have a say on how they run the other parts of their life. Obviously you may be entirely unlike my mum but I know if my mother ever offered todo this i would have constant questions of 'did you need to buy that?' Etc


cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 16:27

They will be living 500 miles away. I doubt I will be able to do much interfering!

OP posts:

cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 18:54

I have let my DD know what i am offering. She is going to chat it through with her bf tonight and get back to me. She sounded pleased and a bit relieved.

OP posts:

Pardonwhat · 05/08/2015 18:58

What a lovely offer to make. You sound like brilliant mum.


Xmasbaby11 · 05/08/2015 18:59

yanbu. that's a lovely thing to do. It's awful to work hard and struggle to afford to live anywhere reasonable. I would do this for my dc.


StarlingMurmuration · 05/08/2015 19:00

You sound like a lovely mum, OP.


monkeysox · 05/08/2015 19:02

Lovely x


IsItMeOrIsItHotInHere · 05/08/2015 19:03

I think if you are able to do it comfortably and you want to do it, then you should and you don't need anyone else's permission or opinion on the matter.


cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 19:07

Isitme I just wanted to check i wasn't making some sort of massive faux pas by offering them money for their rent. I didn't want them to think that i think they can't manage because i know they could - if they could just find somewhere. DD is massively stressed about the whole flat issue and i think this will take some of that stress away.

OP posts:

CognitiveIllusion · 05/08/2015 19:09

YANBU - my parents did this for me for a year when I first started working. It meant I didn't have to live in a horrible flat and I really appreciated it.


Iloveonionchutney · 05/08/2015 19:12

My parents offered this recently and it was a big help especially with another baby on the way and being served notice unexpectedly. I think it's a lovely thing to do.


dlwelly · 05/08/2015 19:14

That sounds lovely. If your daughter isn't keen could you contribute the same in a different way?

I've seen gift cards in Sainsburys designed for students so that you both have one so you can top it up remotely and she can spend it on groceries.

If she's determined to do the rent on her own then this could be a good way to help out and free up her budget a bit more!


MatildaTheCat · 05/08/2015 19:15

They must be quite far south of London to have any hope of getting a flat in their price range. Have they considered renting a two bed flat with another couple? Ok, it does mean sharing facilities and you would all need to get on but it is much more affordable and they could possibly even live further in and save on fares.

However, to answer your question, yanbu, you are being vvk < very, very kind Smile >


Nonnainglese · 05/08/2015 19:19

Yes, unequivocally I would, and have done it for both dcs at different times.
I wouldn't think twice about it if I could it, was only too pleased to be able to help unobtrusively.


cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 19:24

Matilda They are in Brighton. DD has a 4 hour daily round trip to work. She really doesn't need to stress about getting a flat!

OP posts:

Murfles · 05/08/2015 19:24

dlwelly has a good idea if she doesn't want you to directly pay her to help with the rent. YANBU we've helped our DC'c out with deposits for mortgages and rent in the past.


DixieNormas · 05/08/2015 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuckyCornish13 · 05/08/2015 19:26

Sounds like a lovely offer Smile


cashewnutty · 05/08/2015 19:27

dlwelly I think she will accept the money. Her bf's parents have been helping his brother for the past year with his London rent so i think they will be happy to accept some money from me.

OP posts:

skinoncustard · 05/08/2015 19:29

We did something similar for both our DD's
When DD2's partners salary increased he took on the extra rent while she returned to uni for a year.
I know it was greatly appreciated at the time.
Both DDs now have bought property, we were pleased to be in a position to help.


Possiblestudentteacher · 06/08/2015 11:22

My parents did this for me whilst I did my teacher training year and I can't tell them enough how much I appreciated it. It meant I could concentrate on becoming qualified in an area I am passionate about :)

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