To be offended by the food police?

[lunalelle]

Here's the background - I have been losing weight and have lost a stone over about three months. Yes, I know that's not a great amount but it's a start!

Today a colleague (lower level than me - I am her line manager) saw me eating some sweets and made a comment that I 'shouldn't be doing that'. She is quite young and a bit socially awkward. And I don't want to make a big deal about it but I thought it was really rude and crossed a bit of a line. Aibu to be annoyed about this?

YANBU! Well done for losing a stone, that's amazing.

Irritating but if socially award then she was probably trying to make a joke. I would have just joked back breezly either 'treat doesn't hurt' or 'everything in moderation'

Plus your weight loss is healthy and your much more likely to maintain your new style of eatinf

You should mind your own business!

Yanbu

I'm not excusing the inappropriateness of her comment - which was inappropriate regardless of work hierarchy - but it might well be that her social awkwardness has a bearing on things. YANBU to be annoyed but I wouldn't go as far as offended. Just answer back light-heartedly but in a definite sort of way.

You don't have to make a big deal of it but, I would speak to her privately and say that it was an inappropriate thing for her to say. Nothing else just that. It might make her think.

Are you friends, and how did she say it?

I will say to my friend at work (one level up from me, but not my line manager and a different team) "I can see you being naughty" as she's eating a chocolate bar from the tuck shop - equally she will say similar to me as I eat stuff my face with some loads of cheese

but, we are friends, so it's OK and we know each other doesnt mind. If she is socially awkward, perhaps she was trying it as a friendly / joking overture? does she diet / watch what she eats too?

I made a complaint when someone at work made a similar comment to me.

Slightly different, as it was my male manager and I felt he was being inappropriate.

For her to point that out, means she knows about your dieting. And to know about your dieting means you must have spoken about it. If you share personal stuff then you will get opinions.

A stone in three months is fine and she should shut up.

People do tend to say this automatically and usually without malice. Sometimes they have their own body and eating hang ups.

So I'd either ignore it or the next time she said it, say neutrally that her opinions weren't welcome.

Unless she’s really socially-awkward, quiet disapproval from her line-manager would be terrifying.

I wouldn't make a song and dance and I wouldn't pull her aside either.

In fact, pulling her aside would be making a song and dance of it.

YANBU she was rude!