I lost my DH to lung cancer two years ago. Since then I have had absolutely no support from my mother and she has shown virtually no interest in my two DC who needless to say, have struggled enormously. She was twittering on about her neighbour a couple of days after my DH died, and because I wasn't engaging in the conversation, she said "you don't sound very interested". I had just lost my precious DH, my DC has lost their Dad, I could barely even breathe. How could she expect me to be interested in her neighbour? She told me because I have a house and a car, I should "count my blessings". I said I would rather live in a tent and still have my DH with us. She remains totally obsessed with my sister, who never made any attempt to come and see me, or even pick up the phone and ring me when my DH died. She sent a condolence card in the post. My mother then went on and on for weeks at me asking me if I was going to thank my sister for the card. I said no, I have far more important things to cope with, like just managing to get through the day and feed my DC. I felt I coped really well on the day of the funeral, even though I felt like I was looking down on myself and on another planet, I needed to stay strong for my DC. She told me afterwards I "was funny with them on the day of the funeral". Everyone else told me how proud they were of me, and how strong I was being for my DC. She is utterly self centred and totally obsessed with my sister, who is a complete waste of space. She wrecked her marriage and walked out on her two DSs. Because she now lives in a rented flat, and I "have a house", I am so much better off than her and have so much more. She CHOSE to wreck her marriage and walk out. I would give anything in the world to have my DH back and for my DC to have their Daddy back. But I didn't have a choice. She just doesn't get it, she's so shallow. I have told her how much she's hurt me, but nothing changes. I have pretty much stopped talking to her on the phone as whenever I do, she upsets me. She shows no interest in how I'm doing or in my DC. She just remains obsessed with trivia and my sister. I don't know how to cope with the situation. It's no good talking to my Dad. He has no idea of half the things she's said to me. She's very devious and always does it on the phone or via text, so he doesn't know. He knows what she's like, but he will always back her and defend her. He says she's "the most maternal woman he knows". I'm afraid I beg to differ. I want to detach myself from her completely, but I know that's not possible. Thank you to anybody that manages to get to the end of this rambly post.