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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want your snotty germ riddled baby to come to play!

46 replies

Izzy82 · 04/08/2015 00:23

So, imagine the scene. there were 8 of us in our NCT group and since having had our babies 8 months ago, have met up fairly regular.
Anyway, it was my turn to host last week. baby number 8 arrives with two massive snot trains hanging down (one from each nostril). upon arrival, her mum says 'I hope you don't mind, Baby 8 has a steaming cold'
Actually yes I do mind. I mind of your baby sneezes over all of the other babies.
I do mind if your baby sneezes over all of the toys in my house
I do mind of your baby has a content stream of snot hanging down her face.
And why do I mind? because it's 12:20 in the morning and I am sitting in the bathroom with the shower on trying to clear my ddS airways so that we may get some sleep tonight!
I know colds are sometimes inevitable, but would you deliberately inflict one on a group of 9 month olds?
Sorry, rant over

OP posts:

BabyMum1 · 04/08/2015 07:47

YANBU, she should have told you at least, you had nowhere to go its ur house and gems all over
You're lucky it's only a cold, some people are like this with chicken pox!

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2015 07:49

Exactly, the parent with the baby with a cold is very selfish, taking it out of your hands and inflicting that on a number of babies. With nursery or ore school it's more understandable, loads of children, parents have to work, can't take time off for every cold, yes expect that. This is not a nursery situation.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2015 07:52

Of D&V. I went to a babies 1st party where somebody bought their baby with D&V to it. Needless to say a few days later baby dd got it and had it for a week . Some parents are so selfish. She should have called you and let you make that decision as its your home not a playgroup.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2015 07:53

If dp children have a cold I have friend whose child has respirtory problems coming, I always let them know as it çoukd affect it.

Findtheoldme · 04/08/2015 07:54

A few sneezes are completely different to green snot pouring out . Some posters need to be less up their own arses with their comments.

I always told a friend if my child had anything wrong and left it up to them if we still visited. Underlying issues which one doesn't tell the whole world apart can make getting a cold have serious consequences so I was thoughtful. Try it sometimes.

MissMedusa · 04/08/2015 07:56

YANBU. I am the same way. I have a preemie and even a mild cold could have landed him back in the hospital. RSV is a big concern for preemies and can cause serious issues for full term babies as well. I hated it when people would show up with colds. The sensible thing to do is to let people know ahead that your child has a cold and let them decide whether they mind their children being exposed. For the first year I kept my baby away from sick people and if we were somewhere with a sick child we would leave but now That he's older and his immune system and lungs have had a chance to mature I'm much more relaxed. It's one thing if you're bringing your child out in public or at kindergarten and they become exposed but to have the illness brought into your house without checking first is not ok.

LadyLuck81 · 04/08/2015 08:04

YABU in that if I didn't go places because a child has a cold is be virtual housebound. On the other a hand I always text ahead to say we have a cold and ask if it's still ok.

Just in case there's someone vulnerable going to be around and it would be inappropriate.

FurtherSupport · 04/08/2015 08:06

It's a cold. Do all the YANBU's stay home 24 hours a day when you have a cold?

musicinspring1 · 04/08/2015 08:06

Tricky one. With my pfb I stayed in when she had a cold because it wasn't worth going out of she was miserable and I didn't have to be anywhere. However this morning DC3 (10 months) has a really snotty nose but will have to be taken put today because otherwise my other two DC will miss out on paid activities that they are looking forward to. I'm not prepared for them to miss out because of some snot.
So, in your situation YANBU but in the future you might be more lax about snot! Hope your LO feels better soon.

angstyaunty · 04/08/2015 08:20

YANBU. Out and about you take your chances. If you're using daycare, not much choice. But come to my house with a sick child without warning? Very selfish.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2015 08:49

No further but I would not dream of inflicting my cold ridden baby in somebodies house, especially when there are going to be other babies. It's good form to phone ahead and check if it's ok. After all one of the babies çoukd have health problems a could çoukd be serious for them. Extremly selfish!

BarbarianMum · 04/08/2015 09:27

I think YABU but I have more than one and the logistics tend to change a bit then (as does your tolerance for snot). When mine were young the "rule" was d&v was a big no- no but colds were accepted. Ultimately though, your house, your child, your rules so go ahead and say something next time.

sugartees · 04/08/2015 09:30

YANBU. It never ceases to amaze me how many kids/babies wander about with streams of snot running down their faces. FFS use a tissue, parents!

Eventually it trickles into their mouth and then they develop a taste for it, ewwww.

Iggly · 04/08/2015 09:32

I'm in two minds. When I just had pfb, then yanbu. When I had my second, I was much more "meh" but definitely kept them away from PFBs when they were ill

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2015 09:35

If your going to somebodies house it is polite and good form to heck with the host. This is nit a playgroup, or nursery. For the record, ds 3 takes a while to shake off a cold.

Bunbaker · 04/08/2015 09:36

"A few sneezes are completely different to green snot pouring out hmm. Some posters need to be less up their own arses with their comments"

This

BarbarianMum · 04/08/2015 09:52

Actually I would say a few sneezes are worse than green snot as they indicate a cold in the infectious stages. Green snot is a sign of a cold being fought (and can last for weeks).

Rosieliveson · 04/08/2015 09:58

I'm with you OP. I have a 2year old and I know it's inevitable that he will get colds and viruses in the way. I'd prefer it if he wasn't exposed on purpose though.
All but one of our friends seem to feel the same. A quick message beforehand if someone is sick etc. The tail end of a cold etc is usually ok but, in my opinion, those first few streamy days, especially when children are at that age where everything goes in their mouth should be spent at home.

Hope DD gets well quickly

schokolade · 04/08/2015 10:17

I have a 18 month old and you certainly have my sympathy OP. Colds can be bloody horrible, especially if you've had a constant stream of them. Yes, they are part of life with a baby. No need to maximize them though.

And to the poster who said their DD was in a room full of snotty kids at less than 24 hours old - so what?! Not exactly something to recommend is it.

MrsMarigold · 04/08/2015 10:20

YABU. Get all the bugs out of the way early and they will build up their immunity.

BabyHaribo · 04/08/2015 10:29

YANBU they should have let you know so you could decide.

DS 3 has asthma and so a cold can be nasty for him and last for ages therefore I would always like to be warned so I can decide if I want to risk it.

Agree colds are part of having young children but it's very rude not to at least warn you if you are hosting them!

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