Hi all. Before I start, I know this is a very minor thing, it's not causing any problems. I just want to know whose attitude is the unusual one, mother in law's or mine.
I was always taught that you never discuss the cost of a gift, you simply give it or receive it - you never tell, you never ask, how much it was. If you give it, you just say you hope they like it, and if you receive it, you just say how much you like it and how generous it is. End of.
My mother in law is always telling us how much gifts cost, with an air of being pleased about how little she spent. Over Christmas she gave me and my husband some kitchen utensils for our new house. I said, "Thank you, they'll be really useful" and she smiled and said, "Yes, I got them from the pound shop so they were really cheap!" More recently she offered us a baby bouncer that had come into her possession. She works in a toddler group so I assumed it was a hand me down from someone. I said, "Thank you, it's lovely" and she said, "Yes, do you know, it was only £2 from the charity shop. I offered it to Paul and Linda but they didn't want it, so it's yours."
I don't care if things come from the pound shop or charity shop - I buy lots of things in those places myself and almost all our baby stuff is second hand. I know it's nice of her to give us things. But when I receive a gift, I like to get the impression that the giver is pleased I like it, rather than pleased at how little they managed to get it for. All we need to know is that she's found a baby bouncer that we might like - I don't need to know that it was two quid from a charity shop or that it was rejected by someone else before it was offered to us.
I know she and my father in law don't have a huge amount of money, so I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the gifts, and I know how good it feels to get something good quality on the cheap or freecycled. As I said, I do it all the time. And I know she doesn't intend it in any negative way. But is it unreasonable or ungrateful to wish that, if she wants to give us a gift, she would just say, "I hope you like it" and leaves it at that?