To ask for a woop woop on the day I got my first buggy shaming?

[toomuchtooold]

I've waited so long for this day to arrive - my kids are really growing up! I was picking blackberries with my 3y3m old twins in a quiet pedestrianised lane near our house and a woman cycled past us, stopped, looked back, shook her head, said "those children are too old to need a buggy" and cycled off.

Dear cycling lady, I've no doubt that at 3 and a bit your wonderful children were doing 6 mile hikes through the Schwarzwald (we live at the Swiss/German border), but I also suspect that if they were tired you gave them the odd sneaky carry. Which I cannot do with 2 15kg kids, not at the same time. Also, when we are waiting for the tram it really helps to only have to keep my eye on one stationary object instead of two that move randomly in different directions.

Anyway, it's cool, it's just funny. Loads of people on here have posted about getting judged when they went out with a buggy and a tall two year old and I was like . I get it now!

[ShakesBootyFlabWobbles]

Yanbu, she should've minded her own business.

My younger child used it to age 4; when she started reception full time for the first half term, she was shattered at the end of the day, she would walk to the car and promptly fall fast asleep. After the 20 minute drive to school 2, there was no waking her and she was too heavy to carry to the school gates and back. I never gave a stuff about it, you just do what works for you at the time.

[Mrsfrumble]

I'm slightly disappointed to have never been buggy shamed.

I don't drive so I use the pushchair like a car. If we're going more than a few miles, we're in a big hurry or the weather is bad then the DCs (4 and 2) can ride in it. If not, we'll all walk or ride bikes.

I've yet to receive a decent explanation as to why strapping children into a car and driving them 2 miles to the shops in the rain does not make them fat and idle, but pushing them in a buggy does.

[Crazedmother100]

YANBU. I used a double buggy for ages. I remember an old lady talking to DS in his buggy when he was aged 3.5 and her shocked face when we told her his age. 'And he is still in a buggy?'. I just laughed. We had been out for hours.We had a 40 minute walk to his nursery at the time which DS could have done but then he would have been tired and grumpy at nursery. I wanted him to enjoy nursery so let him sit in the buggy when he wanted to. I have a picture of us at disneyland Paris and DS is 3, completely passed out in the buggy wearing Mickey Mouse hands. I love it - it is one of my favourite photographs ever. But I often think how awful that day would have been without that buggy.

In my experience, very often people get rid of their pushchairs too early because they are competitive and want to show how advanced their kids are. They never walk anywhere, end up carrying their kids, taking them home early. Fuck that.

[mammmamia]

Totally agree. I have twins and I used their buggy until they were nearly 4. They are 5 now and one is still light enough to go in the supermarket trolley seat and happily does.

Don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. And I still park in parent and child spaces to avoid having to marshal 2 randomly running off children across a busy car park. So there.

[peppersaunt]

First buggy shaming: DD (3.5) broke her collarbone. Leaving hospital with arm in sling, DD in pushchair. Random woman notes she's a bit old to be in pushchair. My response: "once get broken collarbone is healed I'm sure she'll be walking again".
Buggy shaming 2: DSis "isn't DD (4) a bit old to be in pushchair". Me: "well if you had no car your children would have been in a pushchair for long walks as well". DSis: "good point)

[zazzie]

I have an 8 year old who uses a buggy. You would would think people would realise that you don't use a buggy with a child that age unless you have to but the buggy still gets frowns.

[toomuchtooold]

zazzie there are sections of the human race that never fail to disappoint. What the fuck is wrong with people, really.

[Notso]

I get buggy shamed by my own husband when I take it to town.
It's alright for him he strolls into town with the DC every so often to buy a t-shirt or a birthday card or a coffee. If the 4 year old or the three year old get tired he carries one of them.
When I go to town, it's usually to do my bulk buying so I end up with at least 15kg of meat or I buy the giant box of washing powder or 32 toilet rolls. I'd like to see him carry that back and a three year old and hold a four year olds hand, as well as finding somewhere to put the coats they inevitably discard and DS2's allergy stuff and inhaler.

I once got a hard stare for pushing my 14 year old across wet sand for a laugh because she didn't want to get her new trainers wet

[elfycat]

The best buggy shaming I had was when DDs were little enough to warrant a double buggy (big graco thing) but I'd dropped them off at nursery, driven to another town and took the buggy to carry all my Xmas shopping.

I used the factually correct excuse of 'I've dropped the kids of at nursery and gone shopping-- and received comments about it being a very good idea. It was all fine and well until I bumped into someone I knew, who knew I'd not 'just' dropped them off

DD1 was 'sneaked' into the buggy on the way home from reception. She was just so tired and I have the usual nurse's bad back (Australian lift went wrong on me in the 1990s). I do not carry hefty kids. She spent all yesterday (now 6yo) running around a castle (in an ex-bridesmaid dress) waving a foam sword as part of the organised activities so I don't think it did any damage.

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

I've yet to receive a decent explanation as to why strapping children into a car and driving them 2 miles to the shops in the rain does not make them fat and idle, but pushing them in a buggy does

very well said indeed, sums up the whole thread really!

[LoobysMummy14]

Well i drive a car and use a buggy does that mean my little one is going to be of average size? What utter bollocks. People just like to think they are right and have their input on things when actually they should just keep their mouth's shut.

Sorry feeling rather irritated today after my little girl in a purple pushchair and had a pink blanket still gets called a 'beautiful little boy' (she was also wearing pink).

[iMogster]

I live in Surrey and in this hot climate we have been picking blackberries for 2 weeks!
My 3 year old is still in a pram, he can't be trusted around town and I like to shove my shopping underneath :-)

[Poodletip]

First child used buggy until nearly 4, I didn't know then but do now they have ASD. Second child used buggy until nearly 4, I didn't know then but do now he is hypermobile so when he said he was tired he really meant it (glad I listened). Third child was pretty much out of the buggy before he was 3 because he didn't need it. The best judge of the child's need to be in a buggy at any given moment is the person looking after that child. Nobody else knows their reasons so why assume.

I also agree with the comments above, I was doing a lot more walking with the first two than I was with the third, for various reasons, so it makes sense he was less likely to need the buggy anyway.

I know someone whose 6 yr old hitched a ride in the younger siblings buggy to get home from school. The chemotherapy was quite tiring you see. She really didn't need the smart comment from a passer by. I believe she let them know...

[hazeyjane]

How funny, had a buggy shaming moment today and thought of this thread!

Going up to a nearby village, dd's on their bikes, me pushing 5 year old ds in his SN buggy, and a lady walking her dog stopped looked at ds and said, channeling Norman Tebbit, 'You need to get on your bike'!!

I nearly fell over laughing!!

[WixingMords]

Meh

My DS1 would still get into a buggy occasionally when he was pushing 5 i had no car and another small person to mind

He'd also be more than able to walk several miles at a decent pace without complaining at that age.

[mamaknowsbest2]

We went to a Christmas fair and I took the buggy (to put my shopping in lol & for my 4 year old if needed). The crowds were too much for him & he wasn't feeling on top of the world so he got in the buggy and fell to sleep for 2 hours. There's nothing wrong with it in my eyes. He's far too big for his buggy now but I still put him in the shopping trolley if it's busy or he's tired (or on one!!) xx

[ToKeyOrNotToKey]

That old chestnut! Always said to me by people who strapped their child into a bike seat/trailer or drove them everywhere and walked the last 50m. I had a half hour walk (at my pace) to get to playgroup/shop etc and DS usually walked one way but refused the other. My 3 yr old who, shock horror, still goes in the buggy when we are in town managed a 6.5km hike in the mountains last week so I really don't think it's harming her to go in the buggy when she wants a nap!

Oh yes, and by Dh who thinks nothing of putting her on his shoulders after we've walked 200m down the road into town. I can't do that, but I should just manage to "make her walk" in town, make her walk back in time to get the bus back in time to pick up DS from school whilst carrying the shopping for the week which is the main reason why I still take the buggy with me to the shops

[Happy36]

I am flabbergasted. The woman was just a stranger cycling past; there´s no way she could have known whether the children had any sort of disability or reason that prevented them from getting out of the buggy, in addition to not knowing your circumstances at that moment in time. What a horrible, judgemental lady.

[BarbarianMum]

Our blackberries are small, green nubs (S Yorks).

[Muskey]

I am sorry I didn't think this was a thing. Surely if your kids get tired it's easier than carrying them. I know someone who still used the buggy to take their dc to school in reception.

[Muskey]

Bye the way I spotted a few nice blackberries today along the canal bank but most were still red

[UptoapointLordCopper]

We too have blackberries (London).

[littlejohnnydory]

Ridiculous, IMO, in the absence of any medical needs - 3 years 3 months? Are people serious? Let me be 'that' person who says my dc3 is 3 years 3 months and it's a year since we used a buggy for her. And I don't drive. And she walked four miles without complaining a couple of weeks ago. She's not especially advanced for her age, small physically and has a hole in her heart. Why are people putting these whopping great children in buggies?

Having said that, bike lady was being U to say anything.

[hazeyjane]

ah bollocks to it, all children and all circumstances are different. Ds is disabled, but you wouldn't have known when he was in a 'normal' buggy at 3.

Dd2 was in a double with her brother, when she was 3 and he had just arrived, rocking her tiny world. She used to have the mother of all tantrums, still had an afternoon nap, and with an older sister, we had school runs to do and places to be. Without the buggy, I would have found myself in a right bloody mess.

[Happy36]

We have blackberries here in Madrid. The other day we cycled with the kids to a lane which leads up to their school where there are heaps of blackberries to pick. Later I overheard my son telling the neighbour that we had been to steal fruit from school.