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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a woop woop on the day I got my first buggy shaming?

160 replies

toomuchtooold · 03/08/2015 18:05

I've waited so long for this day to arrive - my kids are really growing up! I was picking blackberries with my 3y3m old twins in a quiet pedestrianised lane near our house and a woman cycled past us, stopped, looked back, shook her head, said "those children are too old to need a buggy" and cycled off.

Dear cycling lady, I've no doubt that at 3 and a bit your wonderful children were doing 6 mile hikes through the Schwarzwald (we live at the Swiss/German border), but I also suspect that if they were tired you gave them the odd sneaky carry. Which I cannot do with 2 15kg kids, not at the same time. Also, when we are waiting for the tram it really helps to only have to keep my eye on one stationary object instead of two that move randomly in different directions.

Anyway, it's cool, it's just funny. Loads of people on here have posted about getting judged when they went out with a buggy and a tall two year old and I was like Hmm. I get it now!

OP posts:
Twodogsandahooch · 03/08/2015 18:35

My first and only buggy shame was in a posh chocolate shop just off the champs élysées. The bloke serving commented that 'a big girl like that shouldn't be in a buggy' . She was only 2 and I was 6 months pregnant with DD2. I don't think he realised I spoke French.

YouBastardSockBalls · 03/08/2015 18:35

Blush Grin

Oops. Sorry.

To be fair it's been nuts around here lately.

FundamentalistQuaker · 03/08/2015 18:36

Why.Do.These.People.Care?

Not your child, not your problem. Before I had children I would never have said anything to parents of young children, not that i'd have registered a kid apparently being too old for a buggy. I did use to see and judge parents of babies with not enough clothes on on cold days, or swigging cola from a baby bottle, which was bad enough. But I never said anything.

And lucky you, OP. I au-paired in Freiburg, it is a lovely part of the world.

herethereandeverywhere · 03/08/2015 18:38

My 3.6 year old still needs a cheeky half hour nap in the afternoon or she completely melts down. If we're out and about I bring the buggy primarily to put my bags and shopping in and she can sit down for half an hour if she chooses - no back breaking carry or headachy melt down. I don't drive so it's door to door walking/public transport.

People really should mind their own business though!

LazyLohan · 03/08/2015 18:39

I have a terrible bad back and my little boy has meltdowns if he wants to be picked up. I've resorted to using one of those bikes you push along. But I wish people would keep their noses out.

Randomcafe · 03/08/2015 18:39

I tried to pop to the corner shop (5 min walk for me on my own) with my 3.9 year old twins on their scooters instead of in the pushchair for the first time the other day. Ended up trying to carry two scooters, 8 pints of milk and one child whilst the other threw a tantrum in the middle of someone's drive. Shaaaame.

BettyCatKitten · 03/08/2015 18:46

Ha Random I've had that experience with my twins too Grin. Thank god they're now 8, major challenge is now dislocating them from a screen to actually getting out

Tizwailor · 03/08/2015 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
toomuchtooold · 03/08/2015 18:53

Random we bought scooters for their 3rd birthday and then after about a month I hid them in the cellar. We tried it once or twice me and DH, and both ended up carrying a scooter and a wean each Shock.
I remember the first time I tried them buggy-free in the supermarket as well at the age of 2 and a bit (I must have had some sort of episode, I have no idea what I thought was going to happen. They're fine now if you don't count the number of times I've had to buy vegetables that DD2 has picked up and tasted) and DD1, at the time a really sort of responsible and helpful wee thing, kept trying to take her sister's hand and get her to walk alongside her and then after about 3 minutes of this you just saw her wee toddler patience exhaust itself and she went "ahahahahahaha!" and ran off down the aisle with her arms in the air. It was hilarious. I managed eventually to get out with my bread and milk, only having had to buy 2 pairs of crocs and 3 packets of cakemix that they liked the look of. Cheap! These days I bribe them with enormous bags of Pom-Bears which I eat after they go to bed

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/08/2015 18:54

Too much - tbf I am Queen of skim reading posts BlushWink

Dawndonnaagain · 03/08/2015 18:58

I nipped out not half an hour ago to grab some blackberries for a crumble. I can see them from the window and they're ripe and ready to go.

I too have been buggy shamed op. Dd uses a wheelchair or a stick now.
Although she informed me earlier that everyone thought it sweet when her boyfriend piggybacked her up the steps at Tintagel at the weekend! They'll be the folk that think she shouldn't have a blue badge because she's too young and was too old for a buggy when she was five...

seaoflove · 03/08/2015 19:01

My PFB was turfed out of her buggy as soon as she took her first steps. Children these days need to walk as much as possible as early as possible. Never mind that she fell over on the pavement every five steps or so.

Not really. I only ditched the buggy at around three and a half, and that was purely because I was too pregnant and riddled with SPD to push her around. She was a total pain in the arse when it came to walking, and I just couldn't carry a 16kg, 100cm+ child for more than a minute or so.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 03/08/2015 19:02

Toomuch you need a Bollerwagen. ..

doctorboo · 03/08/2015 19:03

Got to love a McJudgy Pants.
In the last week of the school year I picked up my (just turned) four year old from Nursery school and he was in tears because he was so tired he couldn't walk. Luckily I had the double buggy with me, which had the 4 week old in the carry cot section and as my middle child (less than 2 yrs) was with my mum, I could pop the 4yo in the buggy and push him back to the car. Oh the looks! The poor mite is very tall for his age and is on the waiting list for ADD/ASD assessment so you can imagine all the judging feckers milling about ready to give their opinion.

noeffingidea · 03/08/2015 19:08

All of my kids used a buggy until they were 4 (not all the time, of course, just if we had a long way to go). I refused to carry my kids outside, they either had to walk, sit in the buggy or ride their bikes. Couldn't care less what anyone else thought, it wasn't their business.

louisejxxx · 03/08/2015 19:08

theaveragebear you have no idea how much thrills me to know your child no longer sleeps in the bed with you.... every time I mention to anyone that my 2 year old does every night, I feel the looks of doom piercing me. So much so that I've actually started believing them when they say she'll never grow out of it!

Elk · 03/08/2015 19:18

My dad's both used the buggy until they were old enough to read the instruction manual telling them they were too old to use it. Worked for me. Although the eldest did get back in it briefly at 6yrs when she was very jet lagged and just conked out in the middle of the day. Got some strange looks then, especially as her younger sister was completely fine.

Elk · 03/08/2015 19:20

That should be dd's not dad's. I do have a father, stepfather and father in law but none of them have ever used my buggy.

morelikeguidelines · 03/08/2015 19:25

I understand your point . My friend kept using a pushchair for much longer with her twins than people with singletons, and it did make sense.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 03/08/2015 19:31

www.sport-thieme.de/Therapie/Kinderfahrzeuge/Krippenwagen/art=2166009

I bet some of them are 3...

You're "allowed" to use a Bollerwagen in the German countryside (blackberrying especially) but not a buggy for bigger kids...

I got rid of the buggy ages ago because it was 10 years old and no longer folded and I also live in the Land of the Oma Police - never had abad ccomment about sticking the 4 yo in the Bollerwagen with the picnic/ swimming gear...

We're your twins wearing sunhats btw? HmmWink

differentkindofpenguin · 03/08/2015 19:34

Also have no idea why people feel obliged to impart their wisdom!!!! Went on a massive all day walk round the city on holiday once, we started off walking but by late afternoon my 4year old was in the buggy, and my 2 year old in the sling on my back. An older woman felt in necessary to stop me and lecture me on how these children need to walk more!!!!! ConfusedConfused

snowgirl1 · 03/08/2015 19:38

How rude of her. You should have said "And you're old enough to know good manners".

duckydinosaur · 03/08/2015 19:39

YABU - I probably wouldn't have made a comment... but they are really too old to be in a buggy. You are being really lazy. And people wonder why so many children are obese. You are teaching your kids it is ok to be lazy and idle.

trilbydoll · 03/08/2015 19:44

I can't imagine getting rid of the buggy any time soon - I've got dd2, I can't handle a single buggy and chase after dd1. Unless something miraculous happens wrt road sense and compliance in the next 12m I'm keeping the double!

hazeyjane · 03/08/2015 19:47

Oh ducky, you noodle, do you really think that sitting in a buggy at 3 is the reason for a rise in childhood obesity!