To ask for a woop woop on the day I got my first buggy shaming?

[toomuchtooold]

I've waited so long for this day to arrive - my kids are really growing up! I was picking blackberries with my 3y3m old twins in a quiet pedestrianised lane near our house and a woman cycled past us, stopped, looked back, shook her head, said "those children are too old to need a buggy" and cycled off.

Dear cycling lady, I've no doubt that at 3 and a bit your wonderful children were doing 6 mile hikes through the Schwarzwald (we live at the Swiss/German border), but I also suspect that if they were tired you gave them the odd sneaky carry. Which I cannot do with 2 15kg kids, not at the same time. Also, when we are waiting for the tram it really helps to only have to keep my eye on one stationary object instead of two that move randomly in different directions.

Anyway, it's cool, it's just funny. Loads of people on here have posted about getting judged when they went out with a buggy and a tall two year old and I was like . I get it now!

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

YABU - I probably wouldn't have made a comment... but they are really too old to be in a buggy. You are being really lazy. And people wonder why so many children are obese. You are teaching your kids it is ok to be lazy and idle

We have this thing called different parenting styles, this is one of them. It means that you do not get to decide when other people's children are to old to use a buggy

[lljkk]

DD still cadged lifts in the buggy when she was 6. She weighed the same as her 3yo brother so I didn't see a problem.

Nobody ever gave me a look or said a thing. I must be very scary.

[ilovecolinfirth]

Funny how the lady was confident enough to make the comment just as she was cycling off!

[colourdilemma]

I used the pushchair on the school run until very recently (end of school term!) with dd, just four. It was only a sub 5 min walk but she hated going in the afternoon and I chose to take the easier option in order to be sure about being on time for my other two dc. Judge away, anyone; I was never late and dd2 didn't have to be all shouty and cross.

[NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten]

Susan they're in Germany. They're called the Oma Police. It is usually women who have raised a child to adulthood (not intending a massive gender and age stereotype but it is ).

The OP can be flattered as they usually only pick on the younger (looking) mothers - none of them have said anything to me in years But I got it a lot when my eldest was small - though she wouldn't tolerate the buggy unless ready to sleep and she also looked young (small baldy :) ) so it was all about hats and sometimes socks... a child must always wear a hat apparently. .. even if it is a temperate May afternoon and the critic is unsure whether it should be a winter wooly to keep her warm or a sunhat...

People also disapprove of some things (buggies for over 3s) and approve of others (here shoulder carrying dad or pull along wagon = good, big kid in buggy = bad).

Somebody once explained to me that the people who stop with criticisms and unwanted opinions and "tips" for young motthers are actually lonely and just want to talk to the mother and children but don't know any other way to start but I don't know whether that is overly generous - probably a few are like that but most are just busybodies :o

[tobysmum77]

I remember being buggy shamed for not putting ds in the buggy

yeah, quite. Always someone willing to have a pop whatever you do. People can be pretty judgy about poor little dcs with their ickle legs being made to walk too far also ime.

So take no notice and onwards and upwards whatever your style and view

[SnapesCapes]

DS2 was one of those mad babies who hated his pushchair as soon as he could walk. I gave up by about 2 years, and on days out always envied friends with happy children sat in pushchairs as I dragged DS2 about the place whilst juggling coats, snacks, drinks and endless tat. Plus, he wouldn't actually want to walk, he would just lay on the ground in silent, evil protest.

Yesterday I had a clear out of our garage and found his old pushchair in pristine condition, popped a picture of it on Facebook and offered it to a good home. DS2 found it in the hallway and spent 3 hours sat in it, reading stories and eating god knows what. He's 4 and a half and suddenly loves his pushchair.

[RhiWrites]

Saw ripe blackberries in Oxford today.

I have honestly never judged the appropriateness of a buggy for the child therein.

Some days I wouldn't mind a buggy myself.

[TinyTearsFirstLove]

I got abuse off a mum at the school gates on several occasions around my child's 4th birthday. Moaning about her being too big for a buggy.
It was her third school run of the day and she was often asleep. I couldn't carry her and she would have a massive tantrum if I made her walk saying she was tired.
Two years on, she has a disability buggy since being diagnosed with a physical problem. The guilt I feel for getting cross at her for not walking because I was under pressure from this school Mum. I feel awful.now as it all makes sense. The tears I shed out of guilt and because of how that woman made me feel.
Yes, she carries her child at 4 just fine, what's the difference? I'm willing her to dare say something to me when she sees my child in the disability buggy.

[kickassangel]

When DD was two we took her extremely cheap Tesco buggy off roading on the Isles of Aran. That was the end of it. After that walking was her only option as the buggy went sort of sideways with an ominous squeaking noise.
Anyway - she got LOADS of practice walking as a result, I was too tight to buy a new buggy at that stage.

She's now 11 and hates walking, refuses to go anywhere, drags her feet and moans about her legs aching.

I'm not convinced that making young kids walk sets them up for a lifelong love of hiking and all things perambulatory.

[jeanmiguelfangio]

My 2.5year old walks a lot, but I still have a buggy with me when I go anywhere. Children get tired and stroppy very quickly and I'm not dragging a whingy child however long it is home again, when I can put her easily in a buggy. She is happy and I am happy and we can somewhere quickly!!!
People who shame need to get a life frankly! We have enough trouble as parents than using a buggy to make it easier for ourselves!!

[elfycat]

There are blackberries in my garden (Suffolk)

We still take a buggy on days out (DD2 is 4.5) but mainly to carry the picnic. It'll go to Legoland this week. We're ordering a coolbox on wheels to replace it but I'm not sure if it will hold a picnic and my crochet...

I have very tall DDs, DD2 is just going into 6-7 clothing so I've had a few mild comments about it. The school run for DD1 is about a mile and last year I wasn't having my under 3yo walking 4 miles as well as anywhere else I wanted to go. Of course I have a pushchair; I'm not using those giant 4 people buggies with engines on a daily basis.

[BlackeyedSusan]

we have had three ripe blackberries.

[DustyCropHopper]

A lady once told my 2.5 year old ds2 he was too big to be in a buggy now. Before I could say anything, he looked at her and said stupid lady. Now, this is obviously not the way I wanted him to speak to anyone and I did verbally reprimand him, but he had a point

[Devora]

I'm not convinced that making young kids walk sets them up for a lifelong love of hiking and all things perambulatory. Yes!

I also agree that it's the walkers who have buggies and the drivers who sneer. Mine both used buggies till they were well over 3. They're now nearly 6 and 10, we still don't have a car, and they're used to getting around by shank's pony. From the way some go on, you'd think children's limbs drop off if they aren't force-marched up hill and down dale from the age of 18 months.

[TheseSoles]

I expect my younger two to both use their buggies until at least four and a half. The other option is trying to get them to walk, at speed, five miles a day to get everyone to school I'm different places on time.

Oh and forgetting that they both have a physical issue that makes things stressful for them (and me!) when out and about and one of them really, really tired.

[PlateGirl]

Urgh, it's just dawning me as DD approaches her third birthday that we're in for this sort of judgement soon. DS is 15 months younger than her, so the double has been necessary for a while. I know 15 months difference is not the same as having twins, but I totally understand your sentiments about not being able to take the chance when you've got two little ones - you do not have enough arms or strength to carry both at once, or carry one and push one, so the double it it. Even when DH is with us, I find it easier to use the double and have one whole parent free for impromptu child wrangling rather than tied up carrying or pushing a particular child.

[mamadoc]

I have a not so fond memory of an NCT group outing in London (in fact not even my NCT group I was tagging along with my dsis).

Most folks had a toddler/ pre-schooler and a baby and had sensibly brought pushchairs for the quite long and very crowded walk planned along the South Bank.

One woman sadly had not as she was convinced that both her 3yr old and her 18month old would walk or scoot the whole way. It seemed to be some sort of badge of honour for her.

So initially they were both zooming along in and out of the crowds on scooters tripping up tourists and getting lost or left behind and then after not so long were tired and moaning wanting to be carried but this was not really a possibility since the mother could not carry both of them and 2 scooters. It kind of ruined the outing as we trudged along at a snails pace to the tune of whining toddlers. Eventually 2 pushchair spots were found by babies being reshuffled into slings. And was she grateful? Not that I noticed!

Just because they can walk does not always mean that they should under any and every circumstance. Stamina and safety are very valid reasons for bringing the pushchair.

[toomuchtooold]

nurnoch, I'm on the Swiss side but the Oma police are out in force here too. First week we were here, it was about 5 deg C, took the girls out (in buggy) with fleece lined trousers, winter jackets and cositoes on and got told "you do realise it's very cold here, are you sure your children are well enough dressed?" Bloke was a bit when I told him yes I'm from Scotland, I have experienced 5 deg before. And then at the other end of the scale I had a woman on the tram tell me (during the very hot weather) that I shouldn't have taken the kids out. When I explained that we were (relatively) newly arrived and attending German classes on the other side of town she humphed to herself and then when she saw DD1 eating a salami and cucumber sandwich was like "that one will vomit by the end of the day, you mark my words". What? What even?
Whereabouts are you nurnoch?

Tiny I'm so glad you got it sorted in the end. I don't think you should be hard on yourself, little kids need chivvying 140 times just to eat breakfast and put their socks on so it's no wonder you were trying to get her to walk...

Everyone else thank you for having my back!

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

Why do people give such a toss about what other people do if it isn't affecting them or anyone else?

Personally we didn't use a buggy that late mainly because my DSs were huge and I'd never bothered to shell out for a twin buggy (they are 13 months apart) and after age 2 and a bit (ish) I really couldn't fit them in the pushchair with toddler seat - i then had a wee cheapo thing that had a solid bar across where the wheels were so one used to ride in the buggy and when the other got tired they'd swap about or stand on the bar and hold on :) They were very compliant though.

[toomuchtooold]

Plategirl the approved twin mum manoeuvre is to get the lighter one under your arm in a rugby carry while running after the heavier one. It is a bugger though. I remember being jealous of people with a 2 year difference between their kids because the one would be getting mobile as the other reached the age of 3-3.5 - now that I have two 3 year olds and I know what fools they can be (just actually returned this evening from a trip to A&E where DD1 was x-rayed to find a coin she swallowed minutes after I fished a coin from her jaws and read her the riot act) I realise it is still murder even if they are spaced out some.

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

pressed post too soon..

meant to add that we timed our outings based on how far they could reasonably walk or we took the car - it did limit things for a wee while but I was too tight to buy anything bigger to transport them in for the short time left. If I already had the buggy sitting their though I probably would have use it.

[WankerDeAsalWipe]

Just looked up the red book to see how heavy mine were at that age and DS1 was about 17kg at age 3 but DS2 was 20!! No wonder my back and shoulders are fecked as I used to carry them both about quite a lot...

[Littlegiraffe]

OP I still remember insisting that I went with my mum & her friends on their all-day xmas shopping trip to Glasgow, and her taking a buggy for me. I was 5 & 6
It was a win win situation - I had great days out with my mum and her friends, and she had an extremely happy & content small child for those days.
I'm fairly sure I was popped in a buggy for occasional convenience (everyones', that is!) on other occasions until I was 4ish.
Ducky, it may surprise you to learn that I have been very fit and active my entire life i.e. Belonging to some sort of fitness club/class/team all throughout, and since, school, still going to the gym until 7.5months pregnant, running &going to classes at least 3times/week etc. I think your theory is therefore slightly bonkers.

[Bambambini]

I can't understand folk so keen to get rid of the buggy as soon as their 1.5yr old can take 2 steps. I loved my buggy (all 6 of them). Great for coralling them and keeping them safe, for sure stashing all your shopping and junk. For not having to cajole or carry or drag a tired or just fed up child, for holidays, for going proper distances and just for getting there sooner rather than later. Why are folk so keen and proud to ditch them ASAP as though it's a badge of honour - i miss the buggy, was a sad day when the last one finally went.