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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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moronic colleague

148 replies

zara020 · 03/08/2015 13:33

My colleague is an odd one at the best of times but she's just called me 'a bit rude' for not blessing her when she sneezed. Yeah... sorry about that. WIBU? (I know the answer) is anyone else expected to work under these conditions!?

OP posts:
helenahandbag · 03/08/2015 14:21

When did "moron" become offensive? Confused

Fluffy24 · 03/08/2015 14:25

Wow learning something new every day!

alrayyan · 03/08/2015 14:29

A title with moron or idiot follows the exact same path and the same people say the same things.

If it upsets people then I guess it's best avoided and that's fair enough but when people just gleefully pile in to attack an op who didn't know the bizarre maze of the professionally offended mumsnet people, I think that's pretty sick as well.

I would rather be called a moron than a cut which the same women throw casually at innocent people on this peculiar website everyday.

Colleague is a knob.

alrayyan · 03/08/2015 14:31

love that my autocorrect won't let cunt through but allows moron idiot and knob. Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/08/2015 14:33

I was very puzzled at 'cut' before realising you meant 'cunt' Grin

I agree btw.

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/08/2015 14:41

The original use of the term moron was offensive. So we're the original usages of imbecile and idiot.

No - moros is an ancient Greek word meaning 'foolish', idios is an ancient Greek word meaning 'private' (in a bad way - someone who wasn't embedded in community life). Imbecile is from the Latin imbecillus, 'weak.' Look in the OED -imbecile, moron and idiot were in English usage before being co-opted by psychology. Obviously this doesn't automatically mean they're not offensive, just couldn't resist a pedants' corner moment.

Incidentally, I'm always fascinated by how on MN it's fine to insult someone for a certain characteristic unless they've been recognised to have that characteristic by a doctor - considering someone stupid is fine unless the IQ dips below a certain point, judging out of control children is fine unless the child is so little in control of their behaviour as to be considered to have Special Needs. Seems to me that if we're going to say it's wrong to judge those with low IQs and special needs (which it is!) we also ought to say it's wrong to judge those who display similar symptoms to a lesser degree.

zara020 · 03/08/2015 14:43

As I said in a pp, I didn't know it was an offensive term, but thanks for the back up some people! Who knew a sneeze would cause such a discussion!

For the record, this colleague of mine I known for her self involved ways so I was not really surprised by the sneeze comment. She once raised a disciplinary against someone because they sent her an emoticon on an email. Unprofessional apparently.

OP posts:
UrethraFranklin1 · 03/08/2015 14:46

It's not an offensive term, other than the fact that its meant to be Wink
It's just that some people on here could get offended in an empty room.

Petridish · 03/08/2015 14:46

I grew up with a disabled sibling and my mum is still very sensitive to these terms, which is probably why I picked up in it. Having said that, she was got extremely angry when I was a little child and used the word 'idiot'. 'Idiot' is a word that used to refer to people with learning disabilities - I didn't know that at the time and she didn't explain why she was so angry can you tell I have ishoos with her?

Other words that are are offensive include:

Mong
Spaz
Spastic
Spaccker
Retard
Moron
Retard
Joey (I think this refers to a chap who used to appear on Blue Peter and who had, I think, cerebral palsy)

Words change their meanings over time, otherwise we would all be speaking like characters out of Shakespeare or Chaucer. "Moron" is a word I dislike, though.

Preminstreltension · 03/08/2015 14:48

Setting aside the m discussion (which always follows the same lines) I love the disciplinary about emoticons Grin Grin Grin

Preminstreltension · 03/08/2015 14:52

What would be good words to use to describe someone who is NT but is really a bit of an idiot, if you can't say idiot? It feels as though all the possible words could be reduced to the same argument. And we really do need to be able to describe some people as idiotic/thick/stupid.

I obviously wouldn't use a medical definition word but a word that means someone who is generically foolish (as moron originally did and as idiot still does I think) ought to be usable oughtn't it?

Petridish · 03/08/2015 14:52

I think one is more likely to be offended if one is affected by, say, disability?

I have a mental illness but have to say that words 'looney', 'psycho', 'basket case' etc don't affect me. I was pissed off when a horrible neighbour shouted at me that I was 'mental' but I figured that I would rather be 'mental' thank an ignorant git like him.

ilovesooty · 03/08/2015 14:52

I didn't think it would take too long for "professionally offended" to be trotted out.
I acknowledged that the OP was unaware that what she said could be construed as offensive. The same can't be said for some of the subsequent posters.

Petridish · 03/08/2015 14:53

I'm trying to work out what "m**" stands for!

Petridish · 03/08/2015 14:54

Zara - your colleague sounds very strange. Esp re the emoticons.

My FIL has a maddening habit of saying "Bless you, my child" when someone sneezes. I don't know why it makes me want to kill him, but it does.

Epilepsyhelp · 03/08/2015 15:00

Well I tend to stick to numbnuts, seems safe for now..

I hate people sneezing in the office therefore I never bless them.

Preminstreltension · 03/08/2015 15:01

I think autocorrect just autocorrected my asterisks Grin. I meant to type m in place of moron Grin

WayneRooneysHair · 03/08/2015 15:04

Is now not the time to mention that my Xbox Live gamertag is Deaf Spacker Grin

Yes I'm deaf and I have Cerebral Palsy.

sticklebrickstickle · 03/08/2015 15:10

I do understand why these words could be offensive given their previous usage, however I think the words have a different meaning now and that the majority of people do not know or consider that these words were once used to classify degrees of learning disability.

The meanings of and connotations associated with different words can and does change over time. Sometimes this is a negative thing, for example when medical terms (eg: spastic) can become disablist terms used to offend or belittle somebody. Perhaps however it is positive that the words psychology tried to adopt from Greek/Latin (thanks for being a pedant Theycallmemellowjello!) actually went back to their original meanings rather than being terms for people with learning disabilities and that people don't use them in that disablist way anymore.

I completely agree there are some offensive, disablist terms which should be avoided. I think when people use the terms 'spastic' or 'retard' to describe somebody foolish they are being horribly disablist. I think if most people were asked to define these terms they would refer to disability in that description.

However, I don't think that is the case for the word moron (or idiot/ imbecile for that matter). I think if most people were asked to describe a moron they would say a stupid person or a person who does something stupid but I don't think people would specifically refer to that person having a disability. I do not think most people think of disabled people when they hear the term moron.

Obviously if people are using it in that way or with that meaning behind it then it is offensive and disablist, but I think the people who use it in that way are in the vast minority unlike, for example, people using terms such as spastic, retard or mong which are all, in my mind, unforgivable.

maybebabybee · 03/08/2015 15:11

I also have a disability and I'm afraid I had no idea moron was even vaguely offensive.

It's one of my favourite words :S

UrethraFranklin1 · 03/08/2015 15:11

Well I tend to stick to numbnuts, seems safe for now..

Thats so bloody offensive to all the people suffering with insensitive testicles! Surely you've considered how hurtful that is?

Wink
Petridish · 03/08/2015 15:14

Damn - forgot about 'imbecile'.

Sheesh.

maybebabybee · 03/08/2015 15:20

what about cretin? is that offensive too?

Seriouslyffs · 03/08/2015 15:40

I think saying bless you is a bit strange and tend not to say anything. If it's family I'll say 'is that hay fever or dust, or poor you'
But today I was alone in a quiet office and my colleague sneezed- it would have been rude not to say anything so I said bless you and she said 'it was more of a fizzy burp' Grin

FurtherSupport · 03/08/2015 15:49

But it is polite to say bless you when someone sneezes...old fashioned and pointless, as so many of the conventions around good manners are, but it is good manners to say it.

Rude to tell you you were being rude though Grin

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