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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go off sick for the rest of my notice period

41 replies

oldguygirl · 02/08/2015 20:01

I have a new job, I have 2 weeks of my notice left to do.
I am totally sick of the place, I have had ongoing bullying issues which still continue despite me working my notice.
I have had the year from hell and I have had bad anxiety issues, I'm a lot better as I have had cbt and counselling and dealing with things better.
But I am dreading going to work tomorrow

OP posts:

scarlets · 03/08/2015 21:56

Put your health first. If the ambience gets really bad, and you become stressed, go home sick and don't return there.

ArendelleQueen · 04/08/2015 10:33

You've tried really hard and that's the important thing. However, this job is not worth hurting your mental health. I understand why people said you should carry on but equally, there is an argument for not forcing yourself. Take it easy.

toffeeboffin · 04/08/2015 16:43

Do it. Take some time for yourself.

I was supposed to work last week at my old job as I started a new one this week but I said fuck it and took the week off instead. Mega worth it.

SuperFlyHigh · 04/08/2015 16:57

I wouldn't necessarily take lots of time off (not sickies) but a few days here and there before your notice period and rest of holiday.

you could make up a relative who's sick and you HAVE to go and see them. otherwise you run the risk of people badmouthing you who have to pick up the slack for you not being there.

Pennybun4 · 04/08/2015 17:44

I would request a meeting with your personnel department (assuming they are not the bullies) and explain what is going on. Tell them you would like an exit interview, many employers do them and will welcome the feedback. Then... plan what you are going to say in advance and keep calm.

It is very hard and I sympathise having worked notice in a place where I was bullied by my boss, her boss and the director. The exit interview took two hours and I warned personnel they might need to send out for sandwiches. I felt a million times better for doing it though dreaded the prospect. You can go off sick if needs be before and after but do try and brave it out and be dignified. Assuming there is a leaving do for you and hopefully a small present use the opportunity to thank them gracefully but share a few home truths.

ilovesooty · 04/08/2015 18:25

Don't feel tempted to share a few home truths.
The world of employment is very small and whether or not you need to take sick leave before your official leaving date leave with dignity. There's nothing more undignified than what the previous poster suggested, and you sound better than that.

Take care.

ForalltheSaints · 04/08/2015 18:57

I disagree with ilovesooty. I think that if there are ongoing bullying and this is the main reason why you are leaving for another job, you should tell them. If only so that someone in future does not suffer as well.

I think that going sick could be used against you, as the number of days off is a matter of fact not opinion.

ilovesooty · 04/08/2015 19:03

ForalltheSaints I would have agreed with you in times gone by. Circumstances have caused me to change my mind over the years but I can appreciate that there's more than one way of looking at it.
Whatever course of action you take though I think it's a really ill advised idea to use a public occasion like your leaving speech to make your point.

Cheby · 04/08/2015 19:06

Well done for going in, but if you're having panic attacks about it then I think that's a perfectly legitimate reason to be off sick. Just tell your GP that, they'll sign you off. References are all done and dusted, and actually you have done the company a favour by getting yourself out. A lot of people would have stayed and been off and on long term sick for a long time before being 'managed out' at cost to the organisation.

SuperFlyHigh · 04/08/2015 19:19

I wouldn't count on references being 'done and dusted'. For the next job they are but say op doesn't stay at the job long well she'll need a reference from her current and old job.

So best to stay on the side of 'normal'.

When I left my job after being bullied I took a few days holiday rest holiday as pay and left with a clean slate and conscience. I'm sure my boss and colleagues thought better of me for doing this rather than badmouthing them in some way.

Wondermoomin · 04/08/2015 19:33

You could look into whether your organisation would put you on garden leave at your request - a discussion for HR. They have a duty to protect you from bullying. If they don't protect you, protect yourself - by going on sick leave if you need to.

Original poster

oldguygirl · 05/08/2015 07:24

luckily the organisation does not give the number of sick days in their references. The OP is right about not going off sick - I have been quite ill and for several months, I have plodded on and stuck it out.
The type of bullying that I am encountering is unusual in that it is not work collegues but service users. Management have tried to do something about it but it is hard to control.
Still plodding on here though

OP posts:

ninetynineonehundred · 05/08/2015 08:30

Op that's really tough
Your management have a responsibility to deal with it though and protect you, not just to try.
Taking stress into a new job is never a good thing so if you can see the doctor and get signed off that may be best. There's no shame in it.
Take care

Scorpvenus1 · 26/03/2019 16:14

That's what I'm doing, This place drove me and others nuts me for 2.7 years.

I have a new job but they in typical fashion being all shitty. I'm staying till the 28th this Friday as I wont owe them any money like I would if I left today. So on Monday I'm getting signed off and no one gonna know about it specially online lol.

id suggest doing the same. I need to clear my head and get a positive mindset for the new job.

cant wait to start and leave behind the anxiety and depression working here seems to cause people.

HarperIsBazaar · 26/03/2019 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KittyKel · 27/03/2019 05:24

Can’t believe everyone is recommending you use our already unbelievably stretched NHS for an appointment to see a GP to get a sick note you patently don’t need?! No wonder it is so hard to get an appointment these days.

On the home stretch now, you can do this. Every day you are closer to never having to see that place again!

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