Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To be utterly pissed off at how complicated this simple bloody event has been made??

42 replies

GagsTakeOneHome · 02/08/2015 18:12

Dp and I are getting married next May. Our mothers have still not met each other (we've been together 3 years). So because they wanted to meet before the wedding we suggested a meal for me and dp and our respective mothers at the place where we're actually getting married. Sounds simple right?
Well no because dp's mother is insisting on his sister coming ... She wants to bring baby and her hubby. She's also very busy so every date we suggested got turned down due to her schedule. On the other side, my mum wanted his husband to come (the most unsociable and awkward person you've ever met) and then said "oh well, your sister may as well come too?". So by this point I'm starting to get really pissed off ... What started off as a simple meal has turned into a major bloody event. Because of how many people are now involved we've had to reschedual a million times and have now been trying to arrange in for months. Yesterday we settled on (another) date and today my mum said "I asked your grandma if she wanted to come, is that ok?" . I'm really on the edge of telling the lot of them to forget it. We both work full time, we're just as busy as everyone else yet every date we suggest someone is 'busy'. It's getting beyond a joke. It was just supposed to be a small meal so our mothers could meet each other!!!!
AIBU to be getting so round up? The annoying bit about it is that we constantly have both mothers in our ears saying "you've still not arranged that meal!". No because it's bloody impossible that's why!!

OP posts:

scatterthenuns · 02/08/2015 19:37

I'd cancel the lot.

pigsDOfly · 02/08/2015 19:52

Dear God, why are you letting everyone tell you what to do? It's your wedding.

If this ridiculous situation with the lunch continues you'll have so many people there that you'll end up effectively having two weddings. Who's paying for the lunch? Are all these extra people expecting to have their lunch on you.

Just tell everyone that the lunch if off and go with pp's suggestion of getting the mums round for a cup of tea. And don't tell them beforehand that they're meeting each other or aunty Joan and granny and all the rest will want to tag along too.

Sounds like a nightmare.

DisappointedOne · 02/08/2015 20:40

Sorry but I think YABU. By marrying you are turning all the close relatives from both sides into a new family. It's not odd that they want to meet each other.

Erm, what?!

CrapBag · 02/08/2015 20:47

Cancel the lot. There is no need for everyone else to be tagging along. I like the ideas of them meeting at your house for a cuppa and that's it.

It's not a new family. 2 people are getting married. They are not marrying the whole family. I don't think of DH's family as mine, because they aren't. He is but I didn't marry them.

DisappointedOne · 02/08/2015 20:49

Agree, Crapbag

twinkletoedelephant · 02/08/2015 20:53

My parents didn't meet dh dad until they got to the church. He was best man so helpfully showed them to their pew :-)

They met again at the hospital after the birth of dd and again after the birth of DTS
That's quite enough for people who only have grandchildren in common. :-)

HexU2 · 02/08/2015 20:54

I'd cancel it all.

Our parents met first time night before wedding - been together 10 years at that point. Hasn't cause any problems.

I saw my GP in the same place twice in my childhood - one set was dropping in for a quick visit just as other set were leaving our house.

Is it possible to cancel the wedding plans and do the Vagas thing you actually wanted?

HexU2 · 02/08/2015 20:55

Vegas thing - not sure why e went to an a there.

redexpat · 02/08/2015 21:26

Sod the lot of them. Go to Vegas. Theyll get over it.

Icimoi · 02/08/2015 22:40

I agree, cancel the whole thing and tell the mums to sort it out between themselves if they want to meet up. Then wander round to the register office, get married, go away for a long weekend and come back and tell them the wedding's done and dusted.

PurpleSwift · 02/08/2015 23:01

Yanbu. My parents and OHs parents didn't meet until our wedding day. That worked out fine!

EWAB · 03/08/2015 00:32

"Sorry not inviting siblings et al on this occasion we suggest mothers meet on Insert date and place... Can't make it? Oh doesn't look as if it will happen". Also under no circumstances discuss details of wedding with anyone "Everything you need to know will be on the invitation."

stolemyusername · 03/08/2015 00:45

My parents and DH's parents have never met, and are very unlikely to ever do so. We eloped, so much easier (and much more fun)

WallyBantersJunkBox · 03/08/2015 00:52

This reminds me of a weekend with an ex Fiancé

He proposed and then we were invited for a weekend at his parents place. On the Friday evening his parents wanted the four of us to go for a nice meal, to get to know me and to see their son, who was away a lot in the Forces.

His sister got wind of it, and took over the whole evening. Invited herself, her husband (who can barely manage any social skills around her) and her two kids aged 4 and 2. She then decided where we would eat and at what time.

So an evening of a nice dinner getting to know me, turned out to be a six o clock tea in the Hungry Horse eating battered crap while she bullied her sullen husband, talked over everyone and ignored her kids racing around the restaurant hyper on fizzy pop.

And no one stood up to her.

whatsoever · 03/08/2015 00:58

YANBU.

Two choices left I reckon - cancel the whole thing and say "not what we intended, see you all at the wedding".

Or just stick with the plan in place right this minute and no more changing come what may. I feel your pain.

Suefla62 · 03/08/2015 01:31

I've been married 46 years. My parents and the in-laws have never met.

maddening · 04/08/2015 23:24

Set up a surprise date with each of them, he asks his mum to pop out for lunch just him and her, you ask your mum to pop out for lunch, just you and her and meet at the restaurant. Neither mention it as a special event and just have a nice lunch. Don't tell them or anyone else, when they twig on give them a massive hug and tell them that this is special for you because you love them both.

Flip

1 2