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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep avoiding Smear ?

101 replies

RachelRagged · 02/08/2015 10:12

Morning

I keep getting reminders to have a smear test / I KNOW I should get this done but it terrifies me . .actually makes my heart pound, I shake .. and when they say relax your legs ,, they freeze . Any tips at all to control this so I can get it done with ?

PS I do the breathing they suggest , no help.

OP posts:
scribblescrabble · 03/08/2015 13:58

A mm poster wrote about 'putting things off' as akin to thinking about swallowing a frog, just swallow the frog .. And then you don't have to worry (about swallowing the bloody frog!) I had a much, much dreaded smear last week .. And even though it was hideous, I feel so much better now Smile

sleeponeday · 03/08/2015 14:04

Ask to insert the speculum yourself. Honestly. The last time, the nurse said nobody had ever asked her that before, and I said, "would you relax more if you did it yourself, or if a stranger did it to you?" and she said I was right, she'd obviously prefer the first.

You will relax if you insert it yourself. They then adjust it to where it should be and do the rest, but the most horrible part is done with.

I've been asking since I was 20, and nobody has ever said no. A couple of nurses have said it was a great idea, in fact.

The reality is that you ask a complete stranger to insert something into your vagina, and it's a fairly horrible experience. Take a bit of control, and it is a lot more manageable.

If you're putting it off too much, remember Jade Goody. Two small boys are growing up without a mum today because of cervical cancer - don't add your own children to their number. Sad

sleeponeday · 03/08/2015 14:04

Oh and I just saw the updates - well done you, I know it's really hard, isn't it. Flowers

TheoriginalLEM · 03/08/2015 14:08

sleeponeday, i am impressed by your dexteriry in such a compromising position! I am more of the "ooooh, look a crack on the ceiling" school of thought - actually, why don't they have a rotation of where's wally pictures on the ceiling? Or a poem? That might help ;)

Weareboatsremember · 03/08/2015 14:30

I'm another who's never had a smear. The idea of it is so embarrassing, and the hassle of having to make an appointment at a certain point in your cycle, and the fact that it's called a smear! I know its ridiculous, and well done OP for booking your appointment. I really should do the same, but I've not had a letter and feel odd about phoning the doctors and asking for one

sleeponeday · 03/08/2015 14:35

Doesn't take much dexterity! No more than inserting a tampon, really. And for me it makes a real difference to how vulnerable I feel. Plus it's a lot less uncomfortable.

SevenEleven · 03/08/2015 14:38

I counted how long my last one took from speculum being inserted to completely finished. It was 7 seconds. Please do tell them you are nervous and they will reassure you. I was really nervous but I always know that it will be over really quickly.

Hope you manage to get it sorted OP.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/08/2015 14:51

Have you had a baby weareboatsremember? Quite frankly, i had so many people gawping "up there" during pregnancy and birth that a smear doesn't embarrass me at all. It is a bit of a toe curly word though isn't it. I think it is called a pap test elsewhere. Can you email your Dr to ask to get put on the register, or just ring up and ask for an appointment with the nurse? I was in the Drs for less than 5 minutes, including waiting time for my last smear. In all honesty for me, the worst bit is waiting for the results but this is because ive had cervical cancer before im a bit paranoid.

I wish you would go, my DD hasn't had one yet and it bothers me greatly but i can't force her.

She is embarrased, I don't want her to die of embarrasment :(

BitOutOfPractice · 03/08/2015 15:02

Oh OP very well done on making the appointment!

I have had different experiences and the plastic speculum and a kindly nurse really do make the difference. Tell her how anxious you are and I'm sure he'll help you through it

RonaldosAbs · 03/08/2015 17:55

Weareboatsremember

If it is just embarrassment and not related to some past trauma or serious anxiety or similar (that would be understandable) , in the kindest possible way, you need to pull yourself together and grow up.

I assume you are an adult, it takes no time at all, I always have a sheet over my legs when I've had it done, the doctor/nurse couldn't care less. How would you feel if god forbid something happened and it was too late? I think your embarrassment would pale in comparison then. Remember you are in control the whole time, if you want them to stop, they will, it's your procedure, you are in charge.

A really good friend of DHs is an womens cancer specialist, he despairs at this situation, so many women saying "but I'm eemmmbbaarressed" and then they die. Die. All because they didn't want to show the doctor their undercarriage.

You can do this, plan a reward for afterwards to bleach out the memory if need be haha. Nice haircut or manicure or something.

listsandbudgets · 03/08/2015 17:59

Op that's brilliant you've made an appointment.

As everyone has said, wear a long skirt, take a pain killer before hand just in case and make sure the nurse knows you're nervous and you will be fine.

Now if only I can take my own advice before my dreaded root canal on Friday (minus the long skirt Grin )

Final piece of advice - choose a cafe either your favourite or one you've always wanted to try and head there afterwards for lovely coffee and cake because you deserve it :)

Hope it goes well and remember it will all be over in about 10 seconds!! Just don't do what I did and sit there when they've finished legs akimbo, pants on the floor asking when they'll begin.

VitaminCrumpet · 03/08/2015 18:09

Well done for making an appointment OP. I do think that if there was a simple blood or urine test instead of the sometimes painful, embarrassing and invasive procedure, then more women would take up the offer of screening.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 03/08/2015 18:23

I agree that smears are not usually painful. However I'm now overdue mine and simply can't have it after giving birth. My vagina just has closed up and it's very painful to have sex even. I don't know what to do, it's been a year and I am a good 2 years overdue

Lindt70Percent · 03/08/2015 18:31

I had one a couple of weeks ago and it was the easiest smear I've ever had. The nurse was from New Zealand and had been trained to do smears over there and so did things totally differently. I had to lie on my side with my knees bent facing the wall. It was so much easier, no instructions to relax my legs etc. because they were already relaxed.

Just get it done. It only takes a few minutes.

scribblescrabble · 03/08/2015 20:08

Ilovecrapcrafts are you having treatment for what you have described? I have something similar and thats why I was so upset about going for mine the other day, I chose to go to the GUM clinis for mine and cried an told them all about the problems I was having - It was good to get it out in the open and I'm glad I went.

scribblescrabble · 03/08/2015 20:09

Linda that sounds brilliant and far less 'exposed' than a regular smear.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 03/08/2015 20:10

Scribble - no but on the back of this thread I am going to make a GP appointment. I have had an attempt made at the FPC but they had to stop very early in.

scribblescrabble · 03/08/2015 20:15

Well good luck ILovecrapcrafts I feel your pain

TheoriginalLEM · 03/08/2015 20:19

go and speak to your gp as what you describe may well make a smear difficult. I had to have my coil replaced under sedation due to slackness Blush it may well be possible for you to have this. its so worth it.

lozster · 03/08/2015 20:24

Some good advice here. It hurts me - yup - actually hurts despite the million and one people who say it doesn't hurt them. I don't avoid it. I go to the family planning clinic and see a dr (sorry practice nurses I know there are some good ones just not in the practices I've been in when I've needed a smear). I explain my history (lots of unpleasant fertility treatment and rooting around there plus a tilted cervix). I ask for a smaller speculum - invariably there is a hunt for this as there is never one to hand. The smaller speculum makes a huge difference.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 03/08/2015 20:24

I always focus on how I will feel leaving the room afterwards.

It's like "ha ha! I win! Smear test nil, me one zillion! Ha ha! And now I don't have to have another until I'm [current age plus 3]! And that's ancient! Ha ha!"

Ilovecrapcrafts · 03/08/2015 20:25

Thanks the original- I am going to the GP to see whether what I have is normal rather than worrying too much about the smear right now- I am fed up with it and its affecting my life. Thanks to this thread for inspiring!

Sidge · 03/08/2015 20:58

LEM they have fine tuned the recall process now; if a woman has had previous abnormal smears, or a borderline smear, then they now look for the presence of HPV. If no HPV then the chances of even a borderline smear getting significantly worse are very very very low, hence why it is fine to wait 3 years for your next routine smear. If HPV is present then you would stay on a more frequent recall.

Smears in England are only 5 yearly if you are over 50 and your last smear was normal. (I can't speak for other countries).

And for the poster that mentioned having to go at a certain point in your cycle - that isn't necessary now with liquid based cytology as the methodology is so much more efficient at extracting the cells needed. As long as you aren't bleeding heavily you can have it done at any point in your cycle. And even if you are bleeding irregularly it can be worth going for your smear if it's due as irregular bleeding itself can be an early sign of cervical changes. As long as the nurse can see your cervix she can take a sample, then the lab will do their best to obtain enough cells for analysis.

misssmilla1 · 03/08/2015 21:03

I found going to a practice where the nurse or Dr routinely does these (so does plenty in a week / month so is well practiced) made it much easier, plus if you're worried about the pain, take a couple of nurofen plus beforehand.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/08/2015 21:07

Thanks sidge. that is reassuring

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