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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have hidden DHs tablet..

64 replies

Fatty12 · 01/08/2015 20:54

Evening

I'll try writing this as nicely as I can, eventhough I'm literally fuming.

It was a close relatives wedding today which me and DH were due to attend at 12.30pm until DH decided at 10am this flippin morning that he had decided to not go because he 'just didn't feel like it'.
No friggin valid reason, no notice, nothing! I was left to go alone because HE could not be asked. AngryBlush

Now wait for the best part..

He.knew I was not happy so to avoid argument he decided he needed an urgent trip to the local market and to get a haircut HmmConfusedAngry. 20 mins later he left the house without his phone and at that point I had no idea where he was and whether he was actually serious about not going.

So before I went I thought I'll hide his tablet rather than arguing because he can't live withput his tablet - literally!

He's been rummaging through everything to find it all day Smile

As angry as I was; this has made me so happy Grin

Can i just add he did have a haircut and bought stuff from the local market. He wasn't out cheating just to make that clear lol

OP posts:
chekovatemycherry · 02/08/2015 07:48

yAbU

2 wrongs don't make a right.

fourtothedozen · 02/08/2015 08:02

How old are you?

You sound around 10.

msgrinch · 02/08/2015 08:06

How childish. Hmm

FurtherSupport · 02/08/2015 08:12

His behaviour was appalling. Hiding his tablet was ridiculous. You have far more serious issues to deal with IMO.

Spartans · 02/08/2015 08:13

Your relationship is normally fine until he does some like this?

So he has done it before.

What he did makes him a shit, what you did makes you petty and childish.

Moreisnnogedag · 02/08/2015 09:01

Hang on your dh just didn't go?? I just can't imagine my dh doing this and it not being an absolutely massive deal, way beyond just hiding his tablet.

Spartans · 02/08/2015 09:26

When you say close family member, who was it?

Does dh not get on with them or your family? Was this expected?

Shapebandit · 02/08/2015 09:30

Well him deciding not to go at the last minute is unacceptable behaviour. You hiding his tablet is a little childish but nowhere near as bad as his behaviour.
You need to talk to him and get to the bottom of it rather than just dropping it now or it will happen again

AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain · 02/08/2015 09:33

It's really rude to decide just to not turn up to someone's wedding, they'll have paid for him. What a waste of money.

unlucky4marie · 02/08/2015 09:36

Sounds like good work hun, he derserved it

sandgrown · 02/08/2015 09:39

YANBU . He was wrong through and through and disrespectful to bride and groom. What you did maybe a bit childish but if it made you feel better so be it. I would probably have done something similar!

Anniegetyourgun · 02/08/2015 09:43

I thought this was going to be about medication, or possibly illegal narcotics. I am so not with the 21st century.

ohdearitshappeningtome · 02/08/2015 09:44

I don't think your are being unreasonable! Why should he have got to spend the whole time at home being on the tablet when he was rude enough just to decide not to turn up at an event where people would have paid for his meal. And probably expected to see him there if it's a close family member.

I would also have his the tablet and probably laptop, tv remote and any other electrical appliance which meant my dh would have been amused in my absense.

Childish? Maybe? But so what!

milliemanzi · 02/08/2015 09:48

I'd probably want to to a lot more than hide his tablet, like try and figure out why he thought that was an acceptable way to behave...Confused

WhoNickedMyName · 02/08/2015 09:53

if this is the way you both behave and communicate with each other, then your relationship is doomed.

RealHuman · 02/08/2015 09:58

If you say "can't be asked" in public other people will assume you are saying "arsed" Grin

LocatingLocatingLocating · 02/08/2015 09:58

Do you know why he didn't bother to go to the wedding? I do. Because he knew you'd cover for him, and there would be no negative impact on him whatsoever. You have enabled him. He is acting like a child, and unless he sees consequences for his actions, he will continue. It's just a shame for you that you are stuck in the situation of needing to parent your own husband.

FurtherSupport · 02/08/2015 10:33

I know real, I always thought the saying was "can't be asked" until my sister was Shock at me saying it in front of DC.

AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain · 02/08/2015 11:30

'Could not be asked'?

Wtf?? You mean 'arsed' yes?

FurtherSupport · 02/08/2015 11:31

But asked actually makes some sense, arsed makes no sense at all Grin

PtolemysNeedle · 02/08/2015 11:32

Not bothering to turn up to a wedding is incredibly selfish and rude, not to mention embarrassing and awkward for you who has to be put in the position of either telling people what a rude arsehole you're married to or lying on his behalf.

So while I'd usually say that it is spectacularly out of order to hide something from someone, I can understand why you did it. I find it hard to believe your relationship is good most of the time though. People in good relationships don't let their partners down or deliberately put them in awkward positions because they can't be arsed to go to a wedding that they've already agreed to.

Stillyummy · 02/08/2015 11:41

Hahaha! I love a bit of revenge.

DinosaursRoar · 02/08/2015 11:47

YA abit U - but I can see the temptation to do something childish when someone else is behaving in a childish manner.

I wouldn't have made an excuse actually, I'd have said "I don't know why he's not come, he's just decided he didn't want to." I would also expect him to explain to the bride and groom.

But now is time to pile on the guilt. Sit him down, and say, "ok, I want you to know I'm here for you. Just listen, there's clearly something very wrong, noone misses a wedding they've already RSVPed to on the day because they 'didnt fancy it'. You know it's strange behaviour, what's wrong? No really, there must be something, what is it darling?" then when he insists that it was just that he didn't fancy it, smile in your best patronising way and say "ok, when you are ready to talk about what's really going on, I'm here to listen. I'm worried about you, you aren't acting normally."

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/08/2015 12:05

What a prize arse he is!!

I would really lay on the guilt- it is presumably embarrassing for you and cost the hosts his place at the wedding.

Has he thought to reimburse your relatives the 50£+ they would have to pay for his arse behaviour??

Burke1 · 02/08/2015 12:11

You are both equally immature and if your way of dealing with arguments is hiding his property to get amusement then I seriously question whether you are mature enough to even BE in a relationship. Grow up the pair of you.