To be annoyed that he's forgotten my birthday....again...
Ironmanrocks · 01/08/2015 20:42
We are on holiday for a week....I booked it and had to force to him contribute (he works full time ..good job good wage...I work part time..not so good wage!) ...I discussed my birthday with him a week or so ago as we are away when it occurs...its tomorrow. He hasn't mentioned it and I know that he has forgotten. I wouldn't mind so much except our son is 5 and we always make a bit of a fuss...nice meals (in or out) cards, cake, singing. Last year he worked on a Saturday and left me on my own (we had recently moved so don't know many people and he does the rota...) a couple of years before that he only realised when people were calling to say happy birthday...I always have to remind him. I have organised surprise meals out/bbqs/day trips...all sorts for his. I always end up feeling upset and not cared about. Should I warn him now? Or let my boy sing happy birthday at breakfast and let him be embarrassed?!!
mileend2bermondsey · 01/08/2015 21:00
No YANBU in my opinion, but for some reason on MN if you so much as expect your DP to remember your birthday you are an entitled princess.
On another note, your relationship sounds a bit unbalanced financially, especially as you have a child. And you booked the holiday and had to 'force' him to contribute, are you sure he even wanted to go?
ShadyMyLady · 01/08/2015 21:21
Don't acknowledge his birthday next time, I'm sure he'd have something to say about that.
When I read threads like this, and they do come up a fair bit, I do sometimes think people make it worse by letting it bubble away inside. Why not just mention it in a casual way?
ouryve · 01/08/2015 21:37
Hell, YWNBU. Even if he doesn't naturally remember dates, tere are plenty of ways of remembering important dates, these days. It's as if he doesn't actually care.
And f course, some people don't. The key is, what would be his reaction if you ignored his birthday?
Ironmanrocks · 01/08/2015 21:39
I always remind him around a week before. Same as this year. He's just a bit rubbish! We don't do anniversaries jus a handmade card by DS on mothers/Father's Day as its all a bit false to us. But I'm alwAys thoughtful to him on his bday! We shall see what happens I suppose... But thanks for your kind wishes! I am lucky and I know I could do a lot worse...but he just never thinks!! Ps he has the rest of the family on his phone to remind him...why not mine??!! I'm going to pick something out tomorrow and just make him pay for it!!
lastqueenofscotland · 02/08/2015 00:01
Birthdays/xmasses etc to me are a big deal, I make a serious effort for a select few on their birthdays, including DPs and expect it back. I LOVE giving gifts/finding cards that are right up peoples street etc.
Doest mean i want a fortune spent on me, but i want people to acknowledge the day as it were.
Backforthis · 02/08/2015 00:10
'It's not like a 'test of love' or anything'
Yes, it is. I'm sick of the attitude on here that if you expect any acknowledgement of your birthday it's your responsibility to remind your DP/H. In real life it is normal to know when your DP's birthday is and to give them a gift of some kind.
cleanindahouse · 02/08/2015 09:48
I spent years reminding my ex about everyones birthday. I stopped after he went nuts at me for not reminding him it was his sisters birthday when i actually had reminded him 2 days before. He told me i was being deliberately shitty and had ruined his sisters birthday because he has forgotten and i hadn't reminded him on the day.
Happy Birthday Iron
LazyLouLou · 02/08/2015 09:57
Of course it is a test of love. Our society makes a fuss about birthdays, your special 1 day of the year days. Anyone who 'is just a bit shit about remembering' is being selfish snurd.
DH always got the date of mine wrong, anything from 2 days early to 2 weeks late. He always did something just not on the right day. I would always enjoy the whatever, smile and tell him X days earlier/later next year, please. He is now usually right, every year, though he does lose confidence and check a couple of weeks before.
But he never forgets, never says I should have reminded him, never did get pissy if he got it wrong. That's normal.
Happy Birthday OP. I hope you DS singing Happy Birthday made your OP feel guilty enough to do something wildly extravagant to apologise
tiggytape · 02/08/2015 10:04
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