to feel a bit shunned?

[laffymeal]

Long time lurker, first time poster, please be kind.

Me and DH are very close friends of 30 plus years with another couple. We've had a lot of interaction in each others lives and consider them our best mates.

Long story short it was their younger DS's 21st birthday yesterday. They had a party and didn't invite us.

It was mostly for friends of their DS which I totally get but they had a group of their own friends there (all age 50 plus like us) and I can't get my head round why we didn't get asked.

We had a party for DDs 18th a few months ago and invited them and it's my 50th in a few weeks and they're coming to that...DH is going out with male half of couple tonight so no rift.

I just feel a bit sad and left out about it.

It's hurtful but it sounds like this couple genuinely like you and like meeting up with you.

It's one event. Don't let it take over from all the other times you've met up or been invited to things.

There'll be a reason and it is likely to be an reasonable one not a "not inviting laffy and her husband cos' we hate them."

Thanks everyone, DH has just left for well earned men's night out with male half of couple, chauffeured by female half. Whatever their reasons for not asking us, it clearly wasn't malicious and that's good enough for me

Good for you op. Things like this can be confusing and upsetting but, as you say, they clearly like you both. Mysterious though I agree.

Thanks everyone xx

Very rude of him to go bollicking on about what a great time they had, though . How graceless to do that to someone who wasn't invited.

I agree that it isn't a good idea to ask why you weren't invited. I'd just put this behind you and forget about it. There could be all sorts of reasons. Perhaps their son was closer to these other friends or was friendly with their children.

I'd put it down to it being the son's choice of guests. The party was for him, not his parents, so I wouldn't take it personally at all.

I'd vote for the different friendship group or any other unmalicious reason.

I agree it was rude to say it'd been a great night.

It is rude but it underlines further that they must think it's fairly obvious why you weren't invited and don't feel awkward. They might be wrong but it would be worse if they were sneaking around to keep it from the op. I didn't invite my dad to my hen night and didn't feel the need to explain why (we'll actually he was on dd's stag do anyway! ) extreme example but hopefully you see my point.

I don't think it was rude to mention it. Clearly they didn't think you'd expected to be invited.

To be honest, I think it's a bit pushy to expect to be always included in events on the basis that you're friends with the parents. I see this attitude often with weddings, has caused a few serious fallings-out.

Hey op did your oh receive any sort of explanation last night?

Hello, DH went out with his pal and they had a brilliant evening. DH didn't mention 21st party at all but pal brought it up and said something along the lines of "it was just DS's pals and a few others, you could have popped in if you'd wanted" which is fair enough but a bit pointless after the event.

It really isn't a big deal and it wasn't a malicious act, just maybe a bit thoughtless and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself on Saturday about it, but I'm very much over it now!

:)