To see if I can get hold of a eurokey?

[ToKeyOrNotToKey]

DS is 5. He is petrified of hand dryers, for no apparent reason that he can tell us. He is getting better, but he will not go in a public toilet if there is a hand dryer in there. I have always had to go and check if there are paper towels first. He has improved (I can usually catch him before he runs, but has been known to panic and run out of a fire exit straight into a road before) and will now go into a single toilet if there is one so long as I constantly remind him he doesn't have to use it. DD is only recently out of nappies, so until two weeks ago, I used the disabled one as as that was where the changing tables are.

When he runs, I used to abandon the buggy and chase him. He panics, doesn't respond to being called, but now I often don't have the younger one in the buggy so it's more complicated.

now, I don't know what to do. More and more places are switching to hand dryers. If there are only a couple of cubicles I wait outside and ask anyone coming in not to use it until we are gone, but this is not always possible, especially in larger facilities. Increasingly, places are switching to locking the disabled toilets with a eurokey. The supermarket, for example, which is where we always eat when out in town have now moved the changing mats into the main toilets and locked the single toilet. I ended up having to ask the manager to let us in because DS was desperate and couldn't go in the main toilets. (Even if I manage to get him in, he is usually in such a state he can't do anything anyway). Manager made clear it was an exception.

Would I be totally unreasonable to apply for a special key if I can get the doctor to write us a letter?

Poor you, you sound like you're doing really well in a testing situation

I think you're well within your rights to use the accessible / disabled toilet btw, it does sound as though he has sensory issues / hidden disability

He's 5. I can hardly put reins on him!

Why ever not?
I put a walking restraint (quite like reins) on my teenager because he has very complex needs and will abscond very quickly if hd gets sensory overload. The alternative to reins would be letting him bolt off and possibly be run over and killed as he has zero safety awareness. I care more about his safety than what people think about him wearing a restraint.
As for the hand dryer thing specifically, it is quite common and I would work on it rather than using the disabled toilets. Ear defenders are a great option and they don't have music playing on them so you don't need to worry about that.

Apart from the fact that DH doesnt agree with the use of reins, I am not going to restrain my child so that I can force him into a situation which causes him so much distress and panic that it is impossible to communicate with him because he is so afraid. Although it would have an advantage I suppose, we would not be able to leave the house as it would upset him so much that he would just sit down and refuse to go anywhere.

He does have some issues with clothes, but they are easily avoidable now I've worked out what they are. Will definitely raise it when we go for the hearing test. We just assumed he would grow out of it, as did the doctor, which is why it's taken so long to get him to agree to give him a hearing test.

I would be asking about more than a hearing test if my child had such severe sensory issues (if it is clothing too then it isn't just an auditory problem). I'm not saying that to be unkind as my own child has very severe sensory issues.
I also wouldn't be letting my child dictate to me over the issue of reins, especially not at five years old. I don't do compromise when safety is the potential issue. What would you do if he didn't learn to manage his sensory issues and ran into the path of a vehicle before you could stop him? Unless your DH has a better fail proof solution I would look into some form of reins or wrist strap etc.

I think you really need to work out what's more important in the short and long term?

Also until hes properly assessed i would not encourage him to avoid stimuli - it will make the issue worse, as he won't learn to regulate his upset at all !

My DD doesn't like hand dryers either - because of the noise.

I don't like the because they're usually totally ineffective and they're pretty unhygienic as they actually blow any germs/water left behind out into the air.

We just leave with wet hands most of the time, or use anti bac foam/gel.

Apart from the fact that DH doesnt agree with the use of reins, I am not going to restrain my child so that I can force him into a situation which causes him so much distress and panic that it is impossible to communicate with him because he is so afraid.

Quite right.

Your DS has a condition (not necessarily a phobia) that means he needs to and is therefore entitled to use a separate, accessible toilet.

It is possible that his response to hearing the sound of the dryers is painful. My DD1 is now a teenager and has recently been able to tell us that when someone shouts at her, she experiences a level of pain in her ears and head that literally brings her to her knees. We knew before that she was sensitive and shouting upset her but not about the pain. The teacher who balled her out for doing badly in a test because irritating noises in the room disrupted her concentration was mortified when she found out what her unprofessional behaviour had done to DD1.

I do think you need to take this further, especially if the hearing test comes back normal, as my DD1's did (barring a small amount of low frequency hearing loss in one ear in case any troll hunters call me on this in the future).

Whatever he is experiencing, it is an unacceptable level of distress and you would be doing exactly the right thing by getting a key for accessible toilets. Without it he may start feeling unable to leave the house or start restricting his fluid intake so he won't need to use a toilet, neither of which is desirable or allows him to lead an acceptable quality of life.