To think the financial system works against people who are actually trying to do the right thing?

[AnnaMariaWhiskers]

OK so I know you can't have your cake and eat it, but we're trying to get a mortgage but have been refused. This is because a) we have student loans because we wanted education to invest in our future b) my dh is paying into a pension which has great returns for the future c) I only work evenings so I can raise my preschool age kids so this doesn't count towards mortgage (no family nearby, expensive childcare cancels out any financial benefit)We have no other loans, HP or even sky TV.
Just a boring rant and I know that I am very privileged compared to 99% of the world's population!

softhedgehog

Really I'm naive, jog along
My post meant not to pay yourself directly, you know if you read it in the context of the handful of posts above...
As per all the financial advise I have seen.

Forgot on MN you have to add text to explain everything, cover each and ever possible scenario and outcome and talk about the in's and outs of a nats arse otherwise someone will come along and point out something ridiculous, trying to be a smart arse.

I have it on good authority that Santander is the most lenient high street lender. Go to them direct and see if they offer you what you need.

particyularly ilf you p icked a high paid career as I did

Yeah ok Red because it's that simple and easy...

It isn't that simple but I am sure you accept that some teenagers sit there and look at what jobs pay and others don't think about it and don'tplan it. Some don't work hard at school and don't get good exam results and some do. Some when adult give up work when children come along and some don't. We are to an extent the master of our own fate and have some control over what ultimately we earn . (And yes I did plan my career - I cylced to the library in Newcastle as a teenage for example to borrow a book called "What people earn" and decided to work very hard, get the best exam results in the school and become a lawyer even though the head mistress said it was a silly choice because at that time there were too many lawyers. So yes I do believe what we plan does have some impact on our life. You will probably now tell me you did exactly the same things and it didn't work and I will go off having been proven wrong I suppose.....)

Not quite. But I did do well at school, I did get good results, I went and got a degree I've just never been overly career minded and I think there are more important things in life than earning a shit ton of money. (And I still managed to buy a house last year .)

Fact of the matter is that some people will work equally as hard as you did at school and will come out with shit results because they're not academically bright. Not everyone can just follow the path to riches like you did (in fact, I'd wager that the number who can is really quite small).

Also, on a different note, is it not pretty fucked up that society expects teenagers (children!) to start making decisions that will shape their entire lives? And that there seems to be this "if you don't sort it out in late teens/early twenties then that's it" mentality? I know I'm a totally different person now to who I was at 14 or 15.

I don't think everyone is aware how much the mortgage lending criteria has changed in recent times
Rates are not always as advertised and the way lenders apply the affordability criteria
I have an ok paid job, and a reasonable amount of equity in the house I have lived in for many years however due to past relationship breakdowns (buying exh and exdp out) I have a fairly large mortgage
Recently my fixed term deal came to an end so I was shopping around for a new mortgage deal, the amounts I was offered varied by £70,000 supplying exactly the same figures
My own bank would not allow me an extra £10,000 on the mortgage but were happy to offer me an unsecured loan of up to £25,000 with higher payments, obviously higher interest therefore greater profits - I still don't understand how that got past both affordability scoring and ethical lending
As a previous poster stated Santander made me the highest offer but I did not accept their deal for other reasons
Halifax gave the best customer service even though I didn't meet their criteria I would recommend them and try them again in the future

OP hasn't even been back which is annoying as I would be interested to know why she thinks having a pension or student loan is in anyway unusual

we got a mortgage with both of us having student loans to pay back, 2 car loans, a bit of cc debt and I put £700 pm into a pension. It is doable, use a broker.

Jace, I do know because my two daughters have bought in their 20s in the last 2 years and yes it's not easy . In fact one of them just remortgaged earlier this year (at something like 2% so a pretty good deal - remember my days of paying 12% now at her age or even 6% only a few years ago).

I don't like either that the higher % you borrow and the harder up you are for money the higher the rate you pay although I do understand that that reflects risk. I suppose it's like pay day lending or those awful banks which offered massive loans to businesses they did not want or need and then a year later valued their assets at much much less and pulled the plug so their business recovery unit could buy the assets cheaply and sell them off.

(on the point about choosing priorities in life, though, the person with good exam results - surely that proves my point - I was keen to have a nice life with a high income (life is easier, not harder with high incomes by the way) and she was not keen on the money or career side - so there we are - we take our choices and end up as we are - both happy but different which is lovely).

OP, I'd reconsider how much you're paying into pensions, especially if you're younger e.g. 30ish or under.

I seem both mortgage and pensions as investments for retirement - to be able to afford to live in retirement I'll have had to have paid off a mortgage as that will half my & DH's outgoings. At the moment I have a huge childcare bill and we're in those in between years - after mat leave and before any help with childcare costs kicks in. I see this as a temporary period where we contribute the minimum to pensions (my work pension rules oblige me to contribute at least 2%) so that we could afford to move to a family sized home 6 months ago. I'm missing out on good company contributions temporarily. In a year, when we get the 30 hours early years funding followed by school staring (both significantly reducing our childcare bill), we'll rejig our budget and start paying into pensions and other non-essentials again. I'm 30 with 34 years left on my mortgage - I work in retirement financial services so I absolutely know the importance of saving for retirement, but I also know at if we've paid off our mortgage there will be other options eg equity release or downsizing if our pensions aren't big enough. (They won't be big enough anyway - that's another area of financial services that's failing people but that's a whole other thread).

Is that a temporary sacrifice that could work for you?

I'd also reconsider your working position. Childcare is a household expense, not solely your expense. And by the sounds of it you're wasting that education you invested so much into!

needs, yes luck plays a part but I also suffered in recessions and set up my own business as a result, taking good from bad as it were.

I agree with Hero about pensions. Although I know the poster said the employer pays a chunk in too the state does take away rights under pensions left right and centre and is planning a change which may mean they are taxed differently so I would not be so sure a good pension will still be a good pension in 20 years' time. (I plan to work until I die ilke others in our family so am not a great fan of pensions from that point of view either).

Red- I knew the stats about lawyers' pay when I was a young teen and did work hard and got the grades to get in. But my private school advised against it as 'there were far too many law graduates chasing after very few trainee ships' so the degree would be a gamble at best, a waste of time at worst.