To be a bit [hmm] about DM deciding my DCs can have goldfish?

[ArsenalsPlayingAtHome]

DM looked after my 3 youngest DCs today, for which I'm very grateful, of course!

She took them to the local fair, which is lovely of her. A great time was had by all.

When I went to collect them, they were beside themselves with excitement, and couldn't wait to show me the new goldfish that they'd won on one of the stalls!

We now have 3 goldfish, 3 little tanks, and I need to try and fit in a trip to town tomorrow to buy some fish food after work.

I really don't like fish. Actually, I don't dislike them, but I hate the idea of keeping them in tiny tanks, and cleaning them out makes me feel sick, even if I'm not the one doing it!

We've had fish in the past - when they are dying it's like something out of a horror film, they fold in half and float grotesquely on the surface of the water.

All of that is besides the point though.

AIBU to think that she should perhaps have checked beforehand, and in the event of not being able to check, just have said "No, I don't know if it'll be OK with your mum and/dad"?

OP, I've Benin a similar situations.we were at a fair, my kids nearly wet themselves in the excitements fm seeing fish as a prized My DM cannot bear to see them upset in any way, so two fish were won. I think having goldfish as prizes at a fair is cruel and should be banned. However, I figured at least the fish would have a chance at a good life with us.
I went onto a board here ( goldfish bowl?) and discovered that these fish grow big. To leave them in a small bowl is cruel.
We spent a fortune on bigger and bigger tanks, with all the plants/ bridges/gravel a fish could desire. I hated to see the tank dirty so cleaned it weekly, (pita)!
Eventually we gave them to my folks who had an outdoor pond, that used to have goldfish.
Happy ending.
Honestly OP, do your research, these fish need proper care.

has fish as prizes at the fare come back into fashion recently? It's only this year that I've read several threads on mn about fish being given as prizes at the fare, thought it had been outlawed years ago.

I agree that giving fish or any other animal as a prize is incredibly irresponsible and even though I am an animal lover and prone to take on pretty much anything I would be fuming if someone else agreed to let my dc have a pet they hadn't discussed with me first.

If your mother won't have them then I would be brutal and take them down to the local pet/fish shop and see if they will take them. Most won't give you anything for them but will take them off your hands. We did this with the abundance of cat fish which had bred in my xh's tank, and when we moved it was a perfect opportunity to thin down the population of the tank so he took around eighteen baby and juvanile catfish to our local aquatics shop and they took them.

Apparently it was banned then there was a u turn and they can give fish as prizes provided they go to an adult / child has an adult with them and the stall has to have fish necessities ie bowls / food on sale or as a prize as well . Bloody annoying winning a fish - even more annoying winning an empty fish bowl !

Googled it - winning fish at a fair was banned in Scotland in 2006 but as a previous poster said, the ban was watered down for England and Wales - your DCs got the fish because your DM accepted them.

Thanks everyone.

Storytopper .

I'm less and more this morning.

I just don't understand how anyone, even my mother could think it's OK to get a child a pet without first checking with parents.

TBH I expected one or two people to say that it's not ideal, but she was just doing something nice for ther DGDCs, so stop moaning.

It should definitely be banned. I know I'm moaning now, but the fair is still there today. So she could have said that she'd check with me and then go back tomorrow if DH and I agreed.

They are currently in three plastic fish tanks, which are tiny. I think I'm going to take them back to my mum's today, and say that she needs to look after them until we've moved in 5 days, and that they need a bigger tank and some food, and could she take them to the pet shop today and pick up a big tank and food while I'm at work.

Thanks, I don't think I'd have done that if it wasn't for the mn jury!

You'll need a minimum 200 litre tank and a dirty great filter. Cared for correctly a goldfish should live for 20 years.

Ooh, Arsenals good for you!!!

Just had the conversation with DM. Sorted! DCs are going to the pet shop with her..glad I don't have to go. I can't bear walking past the rabbits and guinea pigs in tiny cages.

The best outcome, I suppose.

Christellethanks for that. I will do some research.

Find a nearby mumsnetter with a pond and rehome. I am in Oxfordshire and my parents (different house, same county) have a goldfish pond.

I would be pushing for the release into a kindly neighbors pond personally. Once you've spent out on a big tank and the filteration system (constant bloody humming) it's going to be too late to get rid.

Or maybe the big tank at nanna's is going to be way too big to carry back to yours and there they will stay

I keep goldfish and would not call them boring. They are higher maintenance than most people think though.

See if your mum and DCs can take them to a local branch of Maidenhead Aquatics as they take the welfare of the fish seriously IME. Avoid Pets at Home like the plague!

Where do you live? My PILS have fish in their garden pond and am sure would be happy with 3 more.

I went to a wedding once where they had goldfish in bowls as the table centrepieces.

At the end of the might the MoB was trying to palm them off on people, and this is a family of goldfish lovers, apparently.