What the what now..?

[DangerGrouse]

So is it 'pick your battles' or 'be consistent'?
Or do you consistently pick your battles or pick your battles consistently?
Please advise.
Thanks.
(But be consistent)

haha your post didn't show up first time

I think you be consistent on the BIG things - and you pick your battles on the small or changeable stuff (as they get older)

that way the kids know they have some power and control in their lives but they also know you are in charge and they have structure

Consistently pick the same battles.

DD1 used to bite her nails. Drove me crazy. But it just felt like I nagged her about it, and in the scheme of things it really wasn't that important. So I chose not to bother about it anymore. Eventually she stopped.

Find the 3 most important issues, and work on them. When they are under control, work on the next ones.

I think it's different. I always try to say 'yes' as much as possible but when I say no i mean it and I don't change my mind. So I keep 'no' for issues of safety and things I really care about. So i guess I pick my battles but I'm consistent

Why are you asking?

I would say be consistent in that no means no, because if a no becomes a yes, then it should have been a yes in the first place, and makes you unreliable to your children.

Pick your battles to me is about choosing what you're absolutes are and sticking to them. And that means letting some things go, so that you're not constantly in conflict with your child.

Does that make sense?

I think it depends on the child - mine will occasionally completely freak out over something really minor, so I will change tack because it really is of no consequence to do so. Some things I will stick to regardless such as teeth cleaning and non-violence, some I will give way on such as allowing him to continue a hugely absorbing game so long as he concedes to have a shower rather than a bath to 'make the time up' etc.